This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Lazy Saturday Afternoon

Are you:

  • Aged between 14 and 34?
  • Unemployed/expelled?
  • A wearer of tracksuits?
If so, you may have thought that Saturdays were no different than the rest of the days in the week, apart from the telly being different.

You were wrong!

Come on down to Blandmore Police Station any time from 8am-8pm, and join in our fun-packed day of Hanging Out! We have some exciting activities scheduled, including:
  • Report-a-Robbery workshop.
  • Producing documents.
  • Signing on.
  • Trying to collect clothing seized by the police and not going away until it's given us, innit.
Between activities entertainment will be provided in the form of pretty blue and yellow cars zipping past which we will be alternately waving and swearing at. This can be viewed from the gallery, which takes the form of railing that must be hung off or over for the best visibility.

Hanging Out days are always enjoyable and some people even end the day getting arrested! We'll see you there.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.

45 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

We have crap jobs and we can’t do shite, you end up swearing down the radio and the controllers think you're losing it.

As a group who have theirs hearts in the right place but should really just shut the fuck up sometimes.

23 June, 2007 19:05

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

metcountymounty is that you?

Are you OK?

23 June, 2007 20:47

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Earlier today, a colleague of mine was pissing in the doorway of a bookshop.

It's the beginning of social anarchy when a cop pisses on a bookshop!!!

metcountymounty

23 June, 2007 20:58

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Goddammit!!!

metcountymounty

23 June, 2007 21:05

 
Anonymous Reactively Proactive said...

Was it just my division or was everything spookily quiet today? saturday afternoon and the roads seemed deserted, nobody had a compelling urge to give me their life story of why they hate their neighbours and I only got sent to one (no it isn't a typo - ONE) job and it was an easy one. It kind of freaked me out a little. I'm sure things will be back to normal tomorrow!!

24 June, 2007 00:02

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's the solstice, man. Everyone is at Glastonbury!!!

Hey let's strike out and club a few hippies

24 June, 2007 00:44

 
Blogger metcountymounty said...

and a thousand dancing hampsters singing bingly bingly bong....wheeee dogeee !!!

24 June, 2007 11:41

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The underclass -history is reverting to its historic norm of a polarised society. The Haves and the Have Nots and not very much else in betweeen.

The twentieth century especially the time after WWII up until the late '70s was unusual. People born then lived in a true meritocracy - and with grammar schools anyone with ability coud go as far as they were able to in life.

These days the class system is really a caste system and people will seldom leave the social stratum into which they have been born.

A generation ago, the current underclass would have been factory fodder from the age of 16 onwards.

It's going to get worse. The next thirty years will see the downward slide, with most people who can afford it, living in Gated Enclaves, private securty forces the abandonment of the cities to the underclass.

Sometime during the next few decades, the country will be forced to to stop living on capital and credit as opposed to real wealth and income and then there really will be hell to pay.

Best emigrate now.

24 June, 2007 12:56

 
Blogger busybizzie said...

It's true that the young people who would have poopulated the great industries and been too knackered to play merry hell every weekend now have little to do but watch daytime TV and drink Lambrini.
I've been watching way too much daytime TV myself lately and it's scary how much airtime is devoted to credit companies and IVAs.
I'm astounded there is a market which can support all these firms.

24 June, 2007 13:16

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought the whole point of having a user name was so it couldn't get cloned? hopefully your vacation of trying to wind people up on blogs will be over soon and you'll just drive into a tree at high speed instead.

Metcountymounty - the actual one not the juvenile fuckhead who has been posting on my behalf. bored now, going to look on ebay instead.

24 June, 2007 16:48

 
Blogger Girl*Next*Door said...

Around where my gran lives there used to be shovel loads of chavs & chavettes with their mini me's & they would swear & shout & scream at each other or just general passers by doing their daily stuff. Why though? I genuinely do not get it, do they not see how utterly ridiculous they look & how awful they sound? The girls with babies went through a phase of sitting on the benches swilling cider until 12/1 in the morning around november/december time, which is fine, but not when they have their babies with them!!! At that time! Unbelievable.

Metcountymounty, stay away from Ebay, it will suck you in!!! Lol

24 June, 2007 17:30

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The police are an extension of the underclass. No?

24 June, 2007 18:38

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ebay sucks....you end up swearing online and the sellers think you're losing it.

24 June, 2007 18:52

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get out of my face you juvenile fuckhead !!!

Metcountymounty

24 June, 2007 19:09

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, be quiet.

....As I was saying, the police are an extension of the underclass. No?

Interchangeable values, mostly derive from similar social backgrounds - and most tellingly, the same level of education during their formative years..

Poachers turned gamekeepers?

24 June, 2007 19:29

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Busybizzie you have a point.

Remember too what it was like back then not only were you too knackered after a hard day's work but nobody had any money anyway.

Married in the early twenties, wife and kids, small house and a Morris Oxford. People had a lot less but were better for it. The masses have been spoiled by progress and material possessions and being not having to wait for anything anymore.

24 June, 2007 20:36

 
Blogger busybizzie said...

Anything good on the telly tonight?

24 June, 2007 22:54

 
Blogger busybizzie said...

I've got some erm... pop corn (cough) (cough)

24 June, 2007 22:57

 
Blogger busybizzie said...

Anon, the allegedly intelligent one, has hijacked my profile. Guess I upset him more than he let on.
Hopefully now he's using my name he'll say something interesting but I'm not holding my breath

25 June, 2007 08:55

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Likewise. You would have thought such an esteemed level of intelligence would have considered 'bear bating' to be beneath them and they would be more interested concentrating on their wonderfully superior job. Personally I prefer a nice quiet beach an a bit of scuba diving on my vacations

25 June, 2007 09:42

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So do you mean busybizzie, that all anyone has to do, to pose as any PC in the blogosphere and to copy their profiles and then go around posting in their name and create havoc, is just to to go to www.blogger.com and create a blank blog and then pick the same username?

Are you really sure you should be telling everybody this busybizzie?

It could undermine all of the police blogs. Maybe make then inoperable altogether as every scrote wll soon start doing this.

Harlech PC

25 June, 2007 10:18

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

create havoc?? get over yourself, at best you are annoying a few people by invading one of the few places we can discuss work anonymously, at worst you're tainting the only source of media that isn't motivated by spin so normal people can get an insight into the level of crap we have to put up with every day. ironically from people like you.

25 June, 2007 11:41

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Exscuse me? And who are you ?


Harlech PC

25 June, 2007 11:58

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

discuss work anonymously

or in other words an extension of canteen culture where bone idle coppers sit around telling each other how great they are and how tough they are and how hard they have it. how many of you fearless crime fighters are at work reading this right now?

25 June, 2007 12:17

 
Blogger busybizzie said...

People,
He's there, he's using my profile, I wanted to tell people but I'll get over it. It's easy to check if it's really me.
Let's not let it dominate everyones blog. That would just give the dullard some satisfaction.

25 June, 2007 12:19

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ah, flushed you out i see. now how many times do we have to flush before you go away?

25 June, 2007 12:25

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anon 1217 - none are, Bloggsy along with most of the other more visited sites has the recognition of having her blog banned by Police computers, which you'd know if you were a police officer anyway

25 June, 2007 13:25

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

never claimed to be one of you lot. whatever gave you that idea?! - there are standards you know and lower limits to which one will not sink.

however, in reponse to your post anon 1325 answer this (if you can) :-

why was there ever a need to block access to all your popular PC blog sites via police computers inthe first place - unless it was because you "honest" lot were basically skiving and abusing the system?

oaf

25 June, 2007 13:34

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, the silly bastard anon 1325 has painted himself into a corner there.

What's more, he uses words such as "recognition", almost as though he were proud that these named blog sites have been recognised by police management as having represented a serious drain on police time and resources. To such an extent that they have had to re-configure police computers to circumvent officers wasting time on them whilst the're paid to be out there "policing"


Send a link to the this page to the "Daily Mail" anyone?

25 June, 2007 13:46

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Painted himself into a corner?? what makes you think I'm male!!!The Daily Mail?? you mean the paper most internationally recognised as being unbiased then... "look look Mr Newspaper editor, some police officers are making fun of me when they're not at work so I want you to tell the world about them"
why don't you sad f*ckers go and chase some ambulances or slag off firefighters, after all they actually GET PAID BY YOU (if you pay taxes yet) TO SLEEP on night shifts!!!

Have a biscuit 'Cuddles' and respond to that one, or you could just sod off you pathetic children. Are you just craving some attention after your dad left your crack whore mother when you were 3 to shack up with his cousin??

25 June, 2007 16:04

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This one is probably a sergeant...

25 June, 2007 16:48

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps it's Sir Ian himself

25 June, 2007 17:05

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nah, but it does sound like he should be one of the fast trackers :)

25 June, 2007 17:08

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The sniper sharp reactions of anon 1648 really hit me between the eyes then. Try again sweetie you can do a bit better than that x

25 June, 2007 17:08

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The ironic thing is... that this twerp doesn't recognise irony

25 June, 2007 17:14

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nah nobody could be that stupid. not even one of the police . (i hope). it's just a diversionary tactic to deflect you away from catching him out in an admission about misappropriation of police computers to go blogging on company time.

25 June, 2007 17:23

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're suggesting I don't get irony?? You keep saying him? Gentleman, what makes you think you are better than the rest of us then?? give it a couple of years and once you've a) gone through puberty, b) passed more than 2 GCSE's and c)started paying taxes you'll be more than welcome to join in a debate here. The irony is, you have missed the point entirely that all of the Police officers on here are mainly bitching about how ineffective we are because the government are pissing taxes against the wall on rediculous schemes and agendas. I found out yesterday that the 25,000 people being released 18 days early are all going to be getting £10 a day because they aren't entitled to benefits. You'd be a bit more miffed about that if you actually paid anything towards the goverment than the possibility that a police officer in an office somewhere may be using a workstation to browse the web - something we have all been bitching about in the first place!!!

25 June, 2007 17:33

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Remember: go and play outside. It's stopped raining now.

Pretty transparentI'm afraidas your OCD always shows throuhj - but a gold star on your term report for effort, child.

25 June, 2007 17:50

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

.. and once again, those who you hero-worship are quiet prepared to let you swing whilst they scurry for cover.

Sordid.

25 June, 2007 18:06

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and whom do you suggest I hero worship then? I don't recall expressing a desire to be anyone or aspire to someone else's spectacular career level.
When you get a day job that is slightly more hazardous than stacking shelves on the Tesco night shift you'll be in a position to pass comment and judgement, until then your opinion is invalid, unwarranted and unjustified so why don't you concentrate on plagerising wikipedia for your coursework instead. Go on, run along children

25 June, 2007 18:19

 
Blogger Roses said...

Anons ~ ZZZZzzzzzz. If you can't think of a name to post under, the least you could do is to stop bickering, it's getting old.

25 June, 2007 18:54

 
Blogger metcountymounty said...

Traffic is an extremely effective way of getting into sus vehicles to see if there's any stolen meat.

Then I tell those meatpackers that we're going to play find the hidden sausages

After all what is wrong with a proddy?

As a bonus, if it turns out they don't have insurance or other relevant offence then they get summonsed.


One day I shall run the bloody Met!!!

25 June, 2007 23:32

 
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