This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Monday, July 02, 2007













This is most likely the cover of my book, which should be out by September, published by Monday Books. The cover might be subject to very minor changes, or the subtitle may change. Indeed Dan Collins, my intrepid publisher, has kindly offered a Blue Peter badge to anyone who can improve on it.

The book has lots of true stories about my work and will hopefully shed some light on what it means to be a Twenty-First Century Policewoman. And yes, it is as bitter and cynical as my blog, only there's pages of it.

By the way, the bit about the Blue Peter badge was a joke. I think.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.

36 Comments:

Anonymous Lorenzo said...

I will be buying the book just for the cover but as I can read too, then that'll make it all so much of a bonus.

03 July, 2007 00:08

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will be buying the book just for the cover but as I can read too, then that'll make it all so much of a bonus.

03 July, 2007 00:10

 
Anonymous Blunt said...

Add handcuffs and a truncheon to the lip-stick lezza and you'll have a real go-er ;)

03 July, 2007 00:38

 
Blogger Andy said...

> the subtitle may change

"Nobody move - this is a bust"

03 July, 2007 00:52

 
Blogger Metcountymounty said...

you just can't beat a good bit of bitter cynicalism on the train to work - looking forward to it :)

03 July, 2007 09:19

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And so thos is a picture of you? (LOL)

03 July, 2007 11:42

 
Blogger Roses said...

Sexy cover. Do they really make you wear that tie in Blandishire?

03 July, 2007 11:47

 
Blogger BelfastPeeler said...

Its a bit... Jilly Copper isn't it? :p

Excellent, another book for the genre, something to keep Copperfield company in W.H. Smiths!

03 July, 2007 14:02

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why not slap the real picture on? - The one of the preposterous little pudding in an ill-fitting uniform?

03 July, 2007 22:11

 
Anonymous Luigi :-) said...

She really is as fit as that. Hey i hope you like my new name Bloggs

03 July, 2007 22:34

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can't wait to reach Page Three

04 July, 2007 11:09

 
Anonymous pc said...

Nice cover
I can hear emily pankhurst spinning in her grave. Why not just subtitle it "the fun one woman can have with a truncheon", and have done with it.
Most of the new female recruits at our place look like that anyway, since they decided to substitute fitness tests for one minute's leaning followed by 3 minutes fast walking as the quality threshold for entry, and allowing 13 year old munchkins to sign up.
To be honest, I haven't seen much about what it is like to be a female officer in your blog. I've seen a lot of spiel from an ex-student trying really too hard to be cynical and amusing enough to get a book deal. Bravo for that.

And yes I have just finished a crap shift.

04 July, 2007 16:55

 
Anonymous Holly said...

Your force's new female recruits look like WHAT exactly PC?

They wear lipstick? That must be what you mean as you can only see the lower half of the models face.

If Emily Pankhurst is 'spinning in her grave' it must be down to lack of support you clearly have for your fellow female officers.

04 July, 2007 20:32

 
Blogger PC Bloggs said...

I hadn't realised that, as a woman, I am supposed to talk about being female all the time. I will try my hardest to do this from now on.

While we're on the subject, I won't take offence at being called an ex-student, but just for the record, when I joined up it was still the old fitness test!

04 July, 2007 21:34

 
Blogger Girl*Next*Door said...

Keep the cover & title, very good! I'll be first in line but you gotta promise not to give up the blog!

04 July, 2007 22:11

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about the spelling test "bloggs"?

04 July, 2007 22:46

 
Anonymous pc said...

Hello girlfriends!
PC Bloggs, The book is being marketed as coming from a female officer and therefore one would expect to be getting a "female officer's perspective". I would imagine the main reason you got a book deal is because you are female, as opposed to witty or sarcastic. This is the way the world works. Tell me it isn't so.
Don't be put out by being referred to as an wanky ex-student. I'm one myself, and it is quite obvious from the way the blog is written that you are educated; grammar, syntax etc. Being clever and educated should not be a cause of shame or embarassment, although in the police force it appears to be a serious disadvantage. Educated people may think for themselves. Can you imagine the effect this would have on the police force.....
Holly, how should I support my fellow female officers. By carrying their schoolbooks, and doing their homework for them? It was not a sexist observation, although it was a reaction to the proposed book cover; many of the new male recruits are also barely out of their teens and act like it.
I think it is important for a police officer to "look the part"; on a saturday night outside a club this is half the battle won. Such "presence" is not just size, it come from life experience as well and is in no way confined to men.
I have a suggestion. Police officers should not be employed until they are at least 25 and have done 5 years "proper work".
Discuss.

05 July, 2007 10:03

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why does anyone need 5 years experience to do a job which is basically now just filling out forms and nicking kids for throwing cream cakes? Let 'em all join I say!

05 July, 2007 10:14

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with the last two posts.

"PC bloggs", you and the job that you do are like candyfloss: all taste and no substance

05 July, 2007 11:04

 
Anonymous andy said...

i like it bloggsy and i will certainly be purchasing a copy

good work fella-ess!

05 July, 2007 13:26

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"PC Bloggs, The book is being marketed as coming from a female officer and therefore one would expect to be getting a "female officer's perspective". "

bloggs is female.. ergo she writes from a female perspective... Are you suggesting that bloggs has been lying and is not female? Or does she have to talk about lipstick and periods before she gets to call herself a woman?

"I would imagine the main reason you got a book deal is because you are female, as opposed to witty or sarcastic. This is the way the world works. Tell me it isn't so."

A little bitter, are we, pc? If that really is how the world works then why don't you go out and get a book deal! You're obviously a feisty young female... Oh right.. you have to have a modicum of talent...

05 July, 2007 14:25

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nb meant to sign the post above as 'j'

05 July, 2007 14:27

 
Blogger Metcountymounty said...

It's good to see the trolls are visiting, like an annoying family member you don't really like but have to put up with every now and then. At least you can't be accused of censorship Bloggsy!!

05 July, 2007 16:10

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

come on Anon 1326 - surely that signiature should be: "Glove Puppet"...... eh. "PC bloggs"? (ahem)

05 July, 2007 22:55

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon 1427 even.

05 July, 2007 22:56

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Metcounty ... don't you have to het home to the ..."Missus"? (LOL)

05 July, 2007 22:57

 
Blogger Minty said...

Hi Bloggs-
Perhaps we could form a knitting circle and leave the serious stuff for the boys??? Or maybe we could get together and swap cosmetics? Because us girls have it all our own way don't we.
Damned if you mention being female, apparently damned if you don't.
Sorry if i sound bitter and twisted.
Seriously good luck with the book- i'll be purchasing it.

05 July, 2007 23:09

 
Anonymous Inspector Gadget said...

Nothing wrong with knitting. I was voted a top Blog by an American knitting circle. Looking forward to the book.

06 July, 2007 20:51

 
Blogger British National Party member said...

Is it a collection of your posts, or (mostly) all new writing?

06 July, 2007 20:55

 
Blogger PC Bloggs said...

The book's not written as a collection, but as a story. It is almost entirely new material, with a handful of posts from my blog. There'll be some more information about it when we're closer to the publish date. There isn't much about knitting in it, but I can always write some if there's popular demand...

06 July, 2007 21:52

 
Blogger British National Party member said...

k, thanks.

06 July, 2007 22:09

 
Blogger Minty said...

Perhaps you could write about knitting high viz jackets? Useful writing material AND then the results could be used to combat international terrorism! If you use recycled wool, you would even have green kudos.
Takes a woman to multi task like that....

06 July, 2007 22:21

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I stop bad people doing bad things

I m a hero!!!


Not Fair. I want a book too !!!


-Metcountycunty.

07 July, 2007 10:57

 
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