This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


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Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Public Displays.

In light of the news that some officers might have to face disciplinary hearings in public, I thought I would enlighten my readers on the procedure when a Member of Public makes a COMPLAINT.

Step One
As the door closes behind PC Bloggs on her way out of the person's address, the phone is already ringing to the Duty Sergeant.

Step Two
The Duty Sergeant establishes that the Member of Public (Mop) is, as PC Bloggs has suggested, a cock.

Step Three
The Mop complains about the Duty Sergeant.

Step Four
The Duty Inspector tells the Mop to go away.

Step Five
The Mop goes to his or her local MP. It is a police conspiracy.

Step Six
The MP calls the Duty Inspector threatening to go to the papers.

Step Seven
The Inspector panics and begins an investigation.

Step Eight
The investigation finds that the Mop is a cock and is dropped.

Step Nine
The Mop goes to the papers.

Step Ten
Somebody resigns.

Just thought I'd clarify that.

The people who I think have a genuine grievance never bother to make a complaint. (For example the boy whose hand I accidentally shut in his front door.) It is always someone who takes your dry mockery of their situation as some kind of personal insult who puts you through the mill of Professional Standards. This just shows that police do not give a high enough level of service to those who should never have called the police in the first place.

Here is the motto of Leicestershire Constabulary's PSD, if it can legitimately be described as a "motto":
"Learning, not blame, but honesty and integrity are non-negotiable."

My thoughts preceisely.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you have done nothing wrong , you have nothing to fear or hide.

Joseph K

03 January, 2007 11:10

 
Blogger totallyun-pc said...

I noticed this one too, I blogged a bit less restrained opinions than you... oops! Typical! Its easy to say if you have done nothing wrong you have nothing to worry about. But that niaive!

The public hearing won't stop until a scapegoat has been found. History has proven that time and again.

03 January, 2007 11:22

 
Blogger PCFrankyFact said...

PLEASE people click on Bloggs link regards cock.
Now thats funny.

03 January, 2007 13:27

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had done nothing wrong, I have two pieces of paper that say that now but it did stop then messing me around for 14 months.

Although a public hearing might give me the opportunity to call complainants compensation seeking liars as they very often are.

03 January, 2007 15:39

 
Blogger busybizzie said...

May not have done anything wrong but I still don't fancy being investigated by people who a: have chosen to investigate other coppers and b: have their own targets to meet so aren't exactly impartial.

03 January, 2007 20:37

 
Blogger Noddy said...

Just checked that link to professional standards - 65 staff and bosses too. That's a lot of complaints then?

I blogged on this nearly a year ago - see Part of why we're not on the streets

Nothing changes.

04 January, 2007 01:58

 
Anonymous Pascal said...

Sorry PC Bloggs, but who is the bigger cock ?

The one who displays a gnome, or the various police officers (retired and active) who knock on people's doors at midnight regarding said gnome ?

Funny how they have time for that.

04 January, 2007 12:28

 
Anonymous Custody skipper said...

Pascal, personally I think the bigger cock is the person who takes something written by the Daily Mail at face value, but there you are.

04 January, 2007 16:25

 
Blogger Moira said...

You forgot: Mop is so traumatised by Bobby talking slightly loudly/arresting them/sneezing that they call their completely honest solicitor to sue for thousands.

05 January, 2007 14:01

 
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