This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.


(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Monday, January 01, 2007

New Year Review.

Blandshire Constabulary was thrown into disarray last night as an unexpected New Year broke out. Officers had their leave cancelled at short notice as revellers flooded the town, leaving a wake of broken glass and urine behind them.

Superintendent Rose Tint made the following announcement:

"
In the late hours of the evening, police received intelligence that a New Year might be pending. Party-goers were spotted gathering at several key locations in the town and Immediate Response Units were directed to break them up. Arrests were made and whilst we did not succeed completely in thwarting the New Year, it was dispersed without major incident. We will learn the lessons of this event and will have better contingencies in place in the future, but the police can never really plan for these random occurrences."

**************************************************************************************
I have decided that instead of looking back and reviewing 2006, I will save time and review 2007. This is in line with my sergeant's policy of predicting that I will fail to solve all my investigations from the moment I take them on, so that he can file them straight away.

In 2007 we can expect to see:
  • A domestic violence murder which is the police's fault.
  • A police officer in the national press for something embarrassing.
  • A day when PC Bloggs arrives at work to an overflowing docket, says "Fuck it" and chucks the lot in the bin. Or in her sergeant's bin.
  • Several phoney rape victims convicted.
  • Several hundred actual rapists unconvicted.
  • Two complaints against PC Bloggs which largely focus on "her attitude"
  • A further complaint against PC Bloggs based on property she has destroyed because she got bored of waiting for it to be picked up.
  • About 22,000 assaults on police officers.
  • 2-3 police officers killed on duty.
  • At least two sergeant-changes on PC Bloggs' shift.
  • A new Home Secretary who will pledge to put more officers on the beat.
  • More officers in offices.
  • Another hundred or so criminal offences created.
  • A force will be done under the Human Rights Act.
I can hardly wait.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.

15 Comments:

Blogger PCFrankyFact said...

Ahh Bloggs.
The new Sgts you will get will be so much worse than the ones they replace. You do know that don't you?
Thats a fact!

01 January, 2007 18:23

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not if the sgt is like me, im good!

01 January, 2007 19:41

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tee hee. We get a new Sgt tomorrow.

01 January, 2007 23:52

 
Blogger PCFrankyFact said...

Regards Sgt Scrabble.
You may well be as it ain't often that good Sgts visit these sites because unfortunately today you have to leave behind common sense when promoted.
You either must be old school, have black on someone or must be really cunning.
Thats really hard to say when you're pissed.

02 January, 2007 02:05

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well happy New Year to one and all. 0ne thing I can say we can look foward to here in Gardaland is more gangland murders. Happy days!

02 January, 2007 12:32

 
Blogger staghounds said...

I hope that there are no more than 3 officers killed. I fear more as things get worse.

Happy New Year.

02 January, 2007 16:56

 
Blogger ExtraSpecialCopper said...

My force is still denying that such a thing as the New Year exists . . .

02 January, 2007 18:21

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy new year Bloggsy, keep up the good work :o)

02 January, 2007 22:43

 
Blogger TotallyUn-Pc said...

Ha Ha Inspired Penwomanship. actually made me laugh out loud, and its a long time since a woman did that!

and Francky Fact re: "it ain't often that good Sgts visit these sites"

I hope the fleas of one thousand camels infest your Christmas Sweater!

03 January, 2007 11:26

 
Blogger PCFrankyFact said...

A thousand apologies have been tendered to TUPC for my sweeping stereotypical comments about good Sgts which I hereby withdraw.
The comments that is, not the apologies.
Regards.
Franky.

03 January, 2007 13:19

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All men are rapists

http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=154032006

http://www.accused.com/clients/cases/rape.html

And for balance;

http://happyfeminist.typepad.com/happyfeminist/2006/01/i_believe_that_.html

Happy New Year Bloggsie.

03 January, 2007 13:23

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll use tinyurl next time.

03 January, 2007 17:07

 
Blogger Robert 'Bob' Slot said...

LOL, Nice post.

The senior officers were only just relaxing after chasing around that fat burgler with the red suit and the beard all night.

05 January, 2007 17:55

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 美女交友,

嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,
ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片,

愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,

03 April, 2009 19:24

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性, 做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇,

免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真,

15 April, 2009 11:43

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

 

View My Stats
eXTReMe Tracker