This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

False Economies.

Blandshire Constabulary is great at saving money.

Their golden rules are:
  • No overtime - why make officers to transport their own prisoners to custody at the end of the shift, when the next shift to drive out to them and take over? It might take twenty minutes longer than the hour it would have, but we will save the time-and-a-third we would have had to pay in overtime.
  • Do not refurbish anything, especially custody suites. It isn't worth spending money on this when you can simply pay two officers for a few hours' work driving back and forth to another town each time they arrest someone.
  • Shut down all the facilities (gyms, canteens etc). Then they will have no choice but to work through their meal break.
  • Make it mandatory to obtain three signatures to claim money for absolutely anything, or to order new uniform. The bulk of people will not bother.
  • Cancel all training days and train via online questionnaires. It isn't as if changes in the law are that important.
  • Run your marked police vehicles until the last possible mile until they actually die on the street during a response drive. Also, keep your fleet of vehicles to an absolute minimum. If you can reduce it so far that some officers have no access to a car for their entire shift, you have also saved on diesel costs!
  • Following on from the above, do not bother putting cones, fire extinguishers or door-enforcers in any of the cars. Just have one per county which the officers can drive to pick up if needed.
  • Where you used to need two sergeants for a shift of twelve, cut this down to one. Then cut the shift down to eight. Soon you will not need a sergeant at all.
  • Teach your supervisors to manage by email. This is cheaper than face-to-face reprisals or encouragement.
  • Encourage an atmosphere of demotivation, depression and internal bitching, in the hope of having to pay fewer salaries.
  • Finally, do not forget what all this money is for: giving large payouts in compensation to criminals, and paying your legal fees when you cock up.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.

15 Comments:

Blogger Black in Blue said...

Merry Christmas...........

21 December, 2006 10:50

 
Blogger ExtraSpecialCopper said...

How cynical of you PC Bloggs. Shame on you for hitting the nail on the head

21 December, 2006 13:22

 
Anonymous Ellee said...

Just "blogging off" for a few days, and would like to wish you a merry Christmas.

21 December, 2006 14:59

 
Anonymous PSD Snoop said...

Employ PCSO's instead of Police Officers ???

21 December, 2006 18:39

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like your writing style - as for this example I do feel that you should have given credit where credit is due. To me it looks like a memo from the Home Office to Chiefs

21 December, 2006 19:17

 
Blogger PC South West said...

psd snoop, stole my thought!!

21 December, 2006 20:57

 
Anonymous Cogidubnus said...

Merry Christmas PC Bloggs - Great site - hope 07 brings the success that 06 lacked...

22 December, 2006 03:15

 
Blogger Moira said...

Also you forgot in admin: hire temps rather than cheaper permanent staff so that you can get rid of them when you run out of money. Make sure you don't train the staff because competent efficient staff are SUCH a waste of money. Make sure that admin's so rubbish that the public never ring them choosing instead to harrass the OIC about their whipcash RTC. This saves a fortune and is totally totally brilliant!!11!!

22 December, 2006 09:47

 
Blogger Drugsblogger said...

Hey, there Bloggs, a few things for you to ponder in the New Year.

1. OK, what's your realistic suggestion(s) for how things should be improved instead of moaning on?

2. What worries me about the police blogs I've been reading recently, and I'm new to police blogs is that you all seem to be transferring the institutional canteen culture from the canteen to cyberspace, i.e. just re-inforcing each other's views and prejudices.

3. Despite 1 and 2 I really enjoy your blog and urge you to keep going, it may be that blogging might change some of the things you're so unhappy about.

4. Have a good and safe Christmas - keep those jackets zipped up.

22 December, 2006 15:04

 
Blogger busybizzie said...

Also; Don't fork out on new unproven technologies such as phones or computers. Two per shift should do.
Get rid of all those annoying paper forms. Put them all on computer.

Merry xmas

23 December, 2006 09:16

 
Blogger PC Plod said...

PC Bloggs, I think you and I work for the same force...

23 December, 2006 11:25

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

very surreal. ever since we got that english met export to the northern ireland police force the job has declined and ticks every one of your money savers.
the jobs f***ed

31 December, 2006 12:16

 
Blogger 成人 said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 美女交友,

嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,
ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片,

愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,

03 April, 2009 19:04

 
Blogger look said...

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

15 April, 2009 03:21

 
Blogger liwo said...

爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性, 做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇,

免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真,

15 April, 2009 11:17

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

 

View My Stats
eXTReMe Tracker