This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.


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Monday, December 18, 2006

Merry Courtsmas

Dear John P,

Blandshire Constabulary would hereby like to remind you that this is the season of giving, so please give your partner an extra smack from us. It is a time of year to think of the less fortunate, so if you could leave the door open behind you on your way out of Mrs Cosgrove's house this time, that will allow your younger brother to escape too.

Family is important to us all at Christmas so kindly ensure that BOTH your parents have to attend the police station at some stage during the festive season for your interviews. Don't worry at all about inviting your old Granny round on the big day, we will make sure someone pops into see her and we will even board up her door once the undertakers leave. Enjoy partying and just try to keep the noise to a level that can be heard three streets away.

Finally, have five pints on us before your drive home and have a Happy-Slapping New Year!

Regards,

Your Friendly Local Police Service.

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Copyright of PC Bloggs.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Better to save the cards for the families of the victims his and his political cronies policies haven't helped, whilst sending the perps a customised gift-wrapped prezzie (something perhaps on the lines of Noel Cowards famous chocolate coated handgrenade?)

19 December, 2006 01:36

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't understand why so many of your comments are so negative.. For someone so young in years and young in apparent service it is a crying shame.

19 December, 2006 22:21

 
Blogger Sergeant Simon said...

hum you're feeling as christmassy as I am..........

20 December, 2006 00:42

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Member of the Public said on 19 December at 2006 22:21 ...
I can't understand why so many of your comments are so negative.. For someone so young in years and young in apparent service it is a crying shame.


Welcome to the Disunited Multicultural Republic of New Liebour (a.k.a. the 'UK') whose 'government' has spent the last 9 years imposing a Cultural Marxist agenda on the entire population. The basic philosophy underlying this perverted creed is: all white men are evil oppressors-whatever they are/think/do is bad/wrong, while everyone else is an innocent victim who can do no wrong and cannot be held responsible for their actions. See:

http://www.academia.org/lectures/lind1.html

for a summary.

You will be unsurprised to hear that this madness has permeated throughout ALL Public Services, driven from the top-down and rigorously policed by cardres of Political Officers (known as Equality and Diversity Units).

Then read, or re-read, Aldous Huxley's Brave New World and George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty Four to see the parallels between their nightmare visions and today's reality.

20 December, 2006 12:51

 
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