Another Great Scheme:
In an attempt to combat poor performance, Blandmore Local Police Area is piloting a scheme whereby all crime is to be legalised starting on 1st January 2007. The area has been responsible for a number of successful schemes including the 2006 Drink-Drive Amnesty and the Tolerant Policing Initiative.
"It is an exciting time for policing," said LPA Commander Superintendent McGittington. "We expect to see some real impact on the crime figures."
Officers in Blandmore have voiced their frustration recently regarding the paperwork and bureaucratic restrictions which hamper them from doing their job. Police chiefs are hopeful that following the advent of this Pilot, their officers will be able to spend more time on what is really important: attending Domestic Violence training and Sending Emails.
"It is an exciting time for policing," said LPA Commander Superintendent McGittington. "We expect to see some real impact on the crime figures."
Officers in Blandmore have voiced their frustration recently regarding the paperwork and bureaucratic restrictions which hamper them from doing their job. Police chiefs are hopeful that following the advent of this Pilot, their officers will be able to spend more time on what is really important: attending Domestic Violence training and Sending Emails.
Quizzed on what sort of crime rate we should expect to see next year, Blandshire Chief Constable Iver Vainhope replied, "I wouldn't be at all surprised if we see a 100% reduction in all crime."
Only time will tell.
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posted by PC Bloggs at 18:35
5 Comments:
This is a truly magnificent scheme PCB. Now, today is my birthday, so could you get the email addy of the lads in Kingswinford and tell them to implement some sort of emergency-hastily-drawn-up-contingency-plan where extreme tolerance is the watchword, so that JCA can go out for an evening of debauchery, in a fashion not dissimilar to those contrived by Sir Francis Dashwood and the Earl of Sandwich in the heydays of the Hellfire Club, and then drive home with one strategically covered eye to lessen the scant number of vehicles on the road as the glare of the dawn sun riseth above the Sunday horizon. Can you do that? Oh whilst I am in this vein, if you don’t have too many laborious shifts involving hunt-the-monopoly-pieces-and bacon-butty-crusts-behind-the-desk-in-the-front-office, over the auspicious festive season, perhaps you could shoot up here with a case of Taylors Port and help me research the implications of this groundbreaking way forward.
16 December, 2006 19:46
I see the annual send a Christmas Card to scum, warning them that we are watching, them has reared it's ugly head in Manchester (or somewhere) and that if they don't desist, we'll.....err....we'll...well you've been warned OK? You know that we know that you....errrr......
What's the point?
18 December, 2006 07:00
What should we poor fools who insist on refraining from assaulting or stealing from our neighbours do? Emigrate, start hanging the low-life from our lamp-posts, commit suicide, or just sit in quietly in our homes waiting for the end of civilisation or Jesus' return, whichever comes soonest?
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