This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


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Friday, October 20, 2006

Scrabble for the Rabble.

What a brilliant idea from the prison service. If people have poor social skills, exhibit criminal behaviour and laze around all day watching TV, just pay them to play scrabble for 30 minutes and all your troubles will be solved.

We could introduce this kind of reward scheme in Blandmore. Our local PYOs (Persistent Young Offenders) could be paid to read words out of a dictionary for thirty minutes a day. At least they would not be stealing for those thirty minutes. We have seen the disregard paid by these misguided young fellows towards bail conditions and court orders, but payment seems a certain way to gain compliance. Plus they could learn some new words to swear at us with, or at least spell the ones used already correctly.

In fact, why not go further and merely pay offenders to keep to their bail conditions and sentences? That way a hardened criminal with a couple of ASBOs, two curfews and a "signing-on" restriction could actually earn enough to feed his/her crack habit for a month.

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6 Comments:

Blogger ExtraSpecialCopper said...

is blandmore several million pounds in debt?

20 October, 2006 09:55

 
Blogger PC South West said...

What about paying them to stand in chain gangs and scrape the chewing gum of the pavements and streets.
The payment would be their food and laundry and allowing them to breathe the air.

20 October, 2006 15:48

 
Blogger Phill said...

I've always thought that prison sentances need to be phased.
They need to have a phase of hard punishment followed by a phase of rehabilitation and then finally a phase of lifestyle adjustment to get them ready for the outside world.
So this (low) paid incentives business would be fine provided the scumbags have rotted in their cells for a few years first!
Sadly they probably get this from day one - I'm sure it helps them to learn the error of their ways!

20 October, 2006 19:40

 
Blogger staghounds said...

The pyos can't read, would steal the dictionaries, try to sell them for dope, use the pages to roll joints, write foul words on the covers, use them to beat innocent elderly passers by, then set them on fire and throw them through shop windows.

I just realised that is unclear, do I mean they will light and throw the dictionaries or the old people?

Both, silly.

21 October, 2006 17:09

 
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03 April, 2009 18:37

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or in my case neither the prosecution 'witnesses' nor the unvestigating police officer turned up. The CPS wanted an adjournment. And the police sent an officer who merely arrested me but had nothing to do with my case.

18 December, 2011 09:45

 

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