Muzzling the Police.

I am sure other bloggers have picked up on the fact that Welsh Chief Constable Brunstrom has decreed the muzzling of all police dogs to stop them biting people. Here is North Wales Constabulary's dog section's own website. When you click on the link you will see one of their muzzled dogs.

Personally I don't think we go far enough in protecting the public from our mindless brutality. I am shocked that the Chief Constable has instead trained these dogs to deliver a "flying head-butt" to the suspect's midriff. This is cruel and instead police puppies should be used to lick the offenders into submission.

Furthermore, I propose the following changes to Personal Protective Equipment:

• Sponge to be glued to all batons to prevent injury to those struck.
• CS/Parva to be exchanged for the scent of poppies swaying in a lovely meadow. Poppies will send them to sleep...
• Police cars to be equipped with rubber cages so they bounce off subject vehicles and fleeing suspects.
• Police firearms should be loaded with rose petals.
• Tazers will become pink fluffy tickling arms.
• Handcuffs should be the soft leopard-skin type, if they really must be used.
• Police cells to be coated in fluff.
• All police officers to wear cornerless clothing and cotton boots.
• Offenders shall be dressed in a big bouncy castle before any fighting commences.
• On no account are offenders under eighteen to be arrested at all, it is just too dangerous for the poor dears.
• In time, the whole world will become a big fluffy meadow of lilies and bouncing balls with everyone laughing and happy.
  

Click on movie.


Alternatively, we could police the real world.

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