Custody Query.

As hundreds of prisoners prepare to move into police stations nationwide to "solve" the prison crisis and ministers everywhere are proposing less custodial sentences, I find myself asking which system of weighing up evidence is the worst - police custody or the courts?

Here is a comparison to help you decide:

Length of time spent on one case:
Custody: up to 24 hours.
Courts: frequently up to 2 years or more.

Number of cases dealt with in one day:
Custody: at Blandmore, between ten and twenty.
Courts: three, if you are lucky.

Number of staff required for each case:
Custody: three - based on custody sergeant, gaoler and officer in the case.
Courts: over ten - three magistrates, one usher, two prosecutors, two defence lawyers, probation officer, clerk, witness care officer, security guard, etc.

Likelihood of bringing an offender to justice:
Custody: I would say well over half my prisoners are charged, cautioned or ticketed.
Courts: I have yet to see someone convicted at court without pleading guilty. If convicted, a sensible sentence is virtually unheard of.

Availability of tea while you wait:
Custody: On tap.
Courts: Highly unlikely.

A resounding victory for the Courts on the scale of crapness. I don't know why I asked, really.

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