This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


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Saturday, October 21, 2006

History Matters.

On 17th October 2006 a load of blogs were collected and bunged on a website. This was in order to MAKE HISTORY by getting random members of public to write about their day.

You can read my contribution HERE. Personally I am not that interested in what random members of public have to say. I hear a lot of that at work and what they usually have to say is "F**K off" and "Are you a stripper". Usually my answer to both is "No", but if I am in a good mood I will say, "I am arresting you for Section Five Public Order".

This is my favourite entry on History Matters:
I woke up at about ruffly 7:00 today.I also went bowling today and I am so glad that I had won with 107 points in bowling and my big sis had 60 something and my little bro had 60 something as well.After that I had a Yorkie choc bar and a jam doughnut.So I went back home and changed into pj's and started typing this in.It was a fantastic day.

I can't remember ruffly the last time I had a day as good as Daniel Lewis.

A close second favourite entry is this:
HELLO
I GO TO SCHOOL AND THE MIGHTY ZULU NATION DANCERS CAME TO VISIT TODAY.
MY NAME IS LOUIS AND I AM 12.

Anyway, in my entry I made the following five predictions about how the rest of my night would turn out.
1. The prisoner I arrested last night will still be in custody and I will have to go back and finish dealing with him. This will mean that the two statements I planned to take will be put off and will begin to generate Unhappy Members of Public.
2. I will have twenty-eight new emails and will delete twenty-seven of them without reading them. The twenty-eighth will contain porn.
3. Someone will have left me a voicemail complaining that I failed to trap the 12yr old vandal who threw a pebble at their car two years ago.
4. I will not have slept nor eaten enough.
5. I will attend a domestic where the man has hit the woman but she loves him and won't make a complaint.

The reality was:
1. True, the prisoner was still in custody, but 24hrs having passed, he had been charged already.
2. True to within five (except two were porn-based).
3. True - I had eight messages from the same guy complaining that I have not returned his calls and am giving him the "run-around". He never leaves a number. He has also been into a police station where I do not work on six occasions when I am not on duty. He will now be making a complaint to the gov'nor.
4. True.
5. True.

Life is just too predictable.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it makes you feel any better-i get the stripper thing a lot-and i'm a guy-or whats left of one after five years in the job!

21 October, 2006 19:43

 
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03 April, 2009 18:37

 

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