This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

I feel dizzy...

Following the success of this week's Caption Competition, here's another one.

Choose from the following captions:
I may be suspended, but the sequel will be out in time for Christmas.
Fed up with Ghaffur stealing his limelight, Dizai arranges his own suspension.
The Met unwittingly plays into the hands of its racism accusers.
More headlines please, I just haven't read enough about top ranking officers arsing around at work.

'Diary of an On-Call Girl' is available in some bookstores and online.


Anonymous Dr Melvin T Gray said...

There is much to admire in this man for his tenacity if nothing else. Placing Dr Dizaei in your version of the public stocks, is done with a mixture of motives although I would prefer to believe they are more treacherous than racist.

Albeit that anything will shine as a replacement for Betsaroff, were this good man to consider taking up the position of chief constable of West Yorkshire, he could well prove to be one of the greatest.

19 September, 2008 08:59

Blogger Virtual Supply said...

Sounds like a perfect candidate for North Wales, he could have so much fun teaching the North Wales pogoes all about racist remarks and homophobia, hell, it could even be funny. Would give diversity a whole new meaning. The NW Pogoes have not yet figured out basic cultural differences yet, but because 'numbers' are more or less the same as in English, they do a lot of speeding fines and mowing down cyclists. Non whites are a mystery, gender identity refers to slappers on the Llandudno Parking Areas, travellers are another wourd for weekend visitors and are called 'donors' (re speeding fines). NW pogoes and Dizzy would be a great combination.

19 September, 2008 10:01

Blogger uniform said...

On a similar note ex-Commander Hayman ought to wind his scrawny neck in , this article, ,

supported by his piss poor bit of journalistic commentary , seeks to 'out' bobbies claiming overtime for searching the woods for terrorist paraphernalia.

This kind of drivel is an example of lazy knee-jerk journalism knocked out by drunken hacks still in the pub , claiming expenses ..ooh is that stereotypical.

No doubt Hayman , the kind of ex who should be on the target list of every bobby in London, is now well esconed in the hackneyed world of fleet st this former commander of the brave ought to well know that he is peddling shite

19 September, 2008 12:27

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dr Melvin T Gray, you are a waste of oxygen.
Any cops in Huddersfield know him?

19 September, 2008 14:51

Anonymous Dave H. said...

Be careful PC Bloggs, you are not posting about a normal person – this man is a quite high-ranking officer. He wears his uniform when dining out with his wife, such is his importance. And it is not Dizai, it is disrespectful to use anything other than the correct spelling, Dizaei.

Dezirée was also the victim (as ever) of a vicious assault with a Hubbly-Bubbly pipe, which is a very serious offence and not a matter for sniggering.

Did you see the answerphone message he left for Mandy? I repeat, he is not by any means a normal person.

19 September, 2008 15:33

Anonymous Peckham PC said...

I'm sick and tired of all the SMT making the rest of us look bad.

I really wish they would just get over it...

19 September, 2008 16:17

Blogger TWINING said...

Who is the CC of West Yorkshire?

19 September, 2008 16:51

Blogger TWINING said...

Hayman? Can he be trusted?

19 September, 2008 16:52

Anonymous Anonymous said...

He should read my book (shameless plug)

19 September, 2008 17:34

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What worries me as a taxpayer [he he] is the Black Police Ass. There are always a gaggle of them following Denzil, are they being paid for this following, do they actually nick anyone, are they all 9-5ers or what.
Were doomed.

19 September, 2008 19:55

Blogger TWINING said...

Anonymous we don't follow anyone. We follow, just as you do, what we feel is right.

19 September, 2008 20:42

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have heard that Mr Dezaei is about as reliable as a nine bob note.

He has been described as a "thrush" and a liability by officers on his borough,

He has also been called a "disgrace to Muslims in the job" and also as a "bloody winger" by ALL the muslim officers I work with.

WHY does he still have a job after his previouse indiscretions????? Gurantee he'll get away this time (undermining prosecution case/unlawful arrest etc etc)

Sooner we can sack the d**k the sooner we can get on with the job.

As for Gaffur - apparently getting to number 3 in the met means he has been held back because he's asian. T**T!!!!!!!

20 September, 2008 01:48

Anonymous Retired Sgt said...

Why not combine the two caption competitions so we can have Dizaei
saying to the driver of the police car
"Its alright I know a really good lawyer"

20 September, 2008 11:12

Anonymous Anonymous said...

When will the BPA realise that we don't care what colour your skin is but we would like some work out of you instead of just shouting racism all the time. Well done someone for actually having the cajones to suspend him. That takes knackers in the current climate.

20 September, 2008 11:46

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Retire Sgt, shouldn't that be, "It's alright, I know a really good, possibly fraudulently qualified, soon to be declared bankrupt, despite the interference of Lord Vaz, lawyer."?

20 September, 2008 21:31

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Twining, but who is going to pay my wages when I go out and follow, the rate payers?
-Were Doomed-

20 September, 2008 21:46

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Re ...

"On a similar note ex-Commander Hayman ought to wind his scrawny neck in , this article,""

Is this the same Andrew Hayman that retired from the job just before his expense claims were investigated. The one who bought £360 lunches on his Force Issue Amex card - the sort of lunches Sir John Bourne is accustomed to.

The cheeky bar steward - who is he to preach about being honest with taxpayers money. He and Sir John Bourne have much in common - they are hypocritical self serving cheeky cnuts.

20 September, 2008 22:53

Anonymous Retired Sgt said...

Youare absolutely right..I seem to have mellowed in my dotage!!!

21 September, 2008 13:39

Anonymous Anonymous said...

In Holly Springs, Ga., speeders are paying the price as gas costs soar. Not only will the traffic violators have to pay for their speeding tickets, they'll have to come up with an additional $12 to cover the gas costs for the police officers who stop them.

21 September, 2008 13:54

Anonymous notellin said...

Oh it just gets better.........

Seems thats the paranoia is fully out in the open now. At least it explains whats going on, the NBPA are mad.

Surveillance? Why bother, that airwave radio has discrete listening that can be switched on at any time. The Mets version also has GPS as well. So basically your bugged and tracked all the time as pat of your terms of service.

Maybe he is referring to covert surveillance from the PSD who regularly spy on Officers suspected of behaving criminally.

Of course all of the above leave a paper trail with countless computer access logs as well not mention huge piles of RIPA authorities. So you would think the NPBA would just figure out a that a quick call to the IPCC would illuminate any such practices.

Unless of course they are in on it as well and its a conspiracy.

Then again maybe some medication would be in order.

Sir Ian Blair et al are incompetent , self promoting, media whore Poiticians, they are not, repeat not genius's, evil or otherwise.

In fact Sir Ian Blair et al are just like Ali Dizaei & Tarique Ghaffur in every respect. They are truly equal in their inability to do anything useful or remotely connected with Policing.

They say we get the leaders we deserve. If thats true i wonder exactly what the Met did that was so bad to deserve this lot, Genocide?

21 September, 2008 16:42

Anonymous notellin said...

I say put everyone in the Senior Met on Gardening leave, Sir Ian Blair included and get the IPCC to sort it out. Its gone too far now, we need to go through this forensically and see which one is actually wielding the knife.

I would personally tend to trust the NBPA more than Sir Ian Blair, they have done some good work historically but Ali Dizaei is their president i think so that sort of takes the shine off a bit.

21 September, 2008 21:18

Anonymous Anonymous said...

On Dizaei....
You is picking on me cos I am black...
You is picking on me cos I is in BAPA
You is picking on me cos I is Iranian.
Why is you picking one me...

21 September, 2008 23:27

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sir Norman Bettison is the West Yorks CC, and he is bad enough thanks, we don't want the Mets cast offs, but they can have Sir Norman anytime

22 September, 2008 19:16

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dr Melvin T Gray IS NOT a "waste of oxygen" you moron - anon 19th September. He spoke words of wisdom in his post. Although I have been puzzled by some of his unusual "riddle" post in the past, but and let live.

I would not wish bent Sir tarnished Betsaroff on anyone - creep.
West Yorks deserve a great deal better. People misjudge Ali Dizaei, who HAS been the target of a vendetta, a witch-hunt. He and Ghaffur have a genuine complaint.

Sir Ian Blair and his supporters are great fans of the Big Brother State. He's an Orwellian and crafty with it, along with the P.M. Sonner they are both GONE from office the better for all and this country.

I agree with Doc T Gray, that Ali Dizaei would make a good CC of West Yorkshire. Get the REAL bent creepy Sir Betsaroff OUT, PDQ.

Not a "caption" more of a rant!

23 September, 2008 02:37

Blogger TWINING said...

Interestingly Bettison is keeping his mouth out of this. Probably because he is was watching his wikipedia entry or let me correct that, he may be getting his IT staff to do that in works time.

23 September, 2008 08:54

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Press: I only want a quick word, what's the cattle prod for?

Aide: He could be having his afternoon nap but if we're lucky he may be talking to himself. (Opens Sir Norman's door): The YP Media are here Sir.

Norm: Uh, Wikipedia?

Aide: No Sir, YP Media.

Norm: I heard you the first time, just pay them the usual and book it down to miscellaneous.


Sir Norm: I never touched that Sergeant's breasts, tell them it isn't true.

Aide: He is not hear about that.

Sir Norm: Thank Heavens.

Press: I hear that you are retiring Sir Norman, would you like to comment?

Norman: Well thank you. It is true that I have always been modest and reserved.

Baffled Press: Erm, I understand that you are leaving your post, perhaps for another?

Norm: I do have a Brother in mind when I get the Met job. Where did you hear this hush-hush Lodge business, are you on the square?

Press: I don't understand, I just called about the job rumours.

Sir Norm: Ah, you are here for an interview! Gay are you?

Press: No, but.....

Sir Norm: Pity, I like tight trousers. Look, why don't you go with the nice Super here. We do have a few openings here for men who aren't gay and he can discuss them with you. Cheerio now!

Sir Norm: What kind of Aide are you, letting in jobseekers now? I am feeling utterly depressed and in need of cheering up. What with share prices falling and nowhere safe to stash cash anymore. The whole world is bent. Fix me a line and summon my entire personal pension accounts team for an immediate update.

23 September, 2008 16:55

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