This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


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Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Old News

Unfortunately I haven't got time to post anything new at the moment, but while on the subject of the press, here's a post from the early days of my blog:

19th August 2006
The police figure daily in our national press, but what do all those little phrases used about them really mean? Here is a short glossary:


"Scotland Yard is refusing to comment."
It is news to the senior investigating officer as much as it is to the journalist, and they need a minute to find out whether it is true or not.

"An unofficial police source."
A disgruntled PC who's been on a scene watch for fifteen hours with no sign of tea, biscuits, or reprieve.

"Police are hunting..."
All avenues of enquiry have failed and it is now down to the public to take over the investigation.

"Police describe it as..."
The Super was caught off guard for a comment by the press and a random sergeant somewhere who had a passing knowledge of the case was asked to voice his/her opinion.

"Police chief accuses..."
It's everyone elses fault but mine.

"The IPCC is investigating..."
Someone wasn't happy with the senior officer's decision to brush the allegation under the carpet and went anonymously to the press, with the result that the force has to pull its finger out and bring in the IPCC before they get accused of instituitional something-ism.

"Police are investigating."
It's sitting in someone's docket somewhere.

"Police are hopeful."
Police are not hopeful.

"Police will not confirm."
Yes.

----------------------------------------------------------
Copyright PC Bloggs

13 Comments:

Blogger alanorei said...

Happens in academia, too, and in any kind of research and development work, e.g. (from the 1960s):

Technical report: It has long been known that...

Truth: I haven't bothered to look up the original reference...

TR: The equipment was accidently strained during mounting...

Truth: Dropped on the floor...

TR: The equipment was handled with extreme care throughout the experiments...

Truth: Not dropped on the floor...

etc.

Telling it like it is has always been a notable achievement - speaks well for your book, really and PC Dave/Stu's and Mr C's.

04 December, 2007 22:39

 
Anonymous thosewhodothework said...

http://thosewhodothework.wordpress.com/

04 December, 2007 23:20

 
Anonymous Yank Mountain Mountie said...

Public Information Officer: An arrest is imminent
Truth: ..once we figure out who's actually a suspect.

PIO: We're reassigned a highly-skilled team of detectives to this matter
Truth: ..and then returned them to the job of figuring out whose dog has been leaving stuff on the chief's lawn.

PIO: The Yank Mountain Mounties are committed to ending this wave of vandalism
Truth: ..and should probably be committed to 72-hour mental health evaluation holds.

05 December, 2007 06:31

 
Anonymous AREASEARCHNEGATIVE said...

Recycling old stuff , who are you The BBC ? too busy choosing your red carpet outfit no doubt , all that celebrity eh?

05 December, 2007 10:42

 
Anonymous Patriot said...

Dear Sir / Madam
I am writing to inform you of a New Defence and Security Organisation, The UK National Defence Association recently established in the Uk and headed by Senior Members of the Armed Forces, the aim of said Organisation is to Lobby for Better funding for our Armed Services so that they may better be able to Protect this country and Its People.
Would you be willing to Link to this Organisations website (details Below) and would you be willing to forward the Link on to any / all of your contacts.
Membership is Open to ALL Uk Citizens, concerned about matters of security.
Thank you
Founding Paper.
http://www.uknda.org/my_documents/my_files/NDA-FOUNDING-PAPER.pdf
UKNDA Chairmans Column
http://www.uknda.org/chairmans_column/c-12.html
Home Page
http://www.uknda.org/

Also, can you support this worthy cause, send a Pressie to our Brave Troops, sent to fight a
War in the Gulf.


http://iaindale.blogspot.com/2007/12/send-parcel-to-our-boysgirls-in-itaq.html#links

Could you Post out to all your contacts, asking them to do the same.

05 December, 2007 14:24

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No previous convictions = has got away with it until now.

05 December, 2007 17:16

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Home Secretary will ratify the pay deal as agreed by the Arbitration panel...
MEANS...
The Home Secretary will give us 2.5% from next month and not backdat eto 1st September meaning it is only 1.9%
OR...
What a conniving, lying, cheating bunch of fraudsters this Government are..

05 December, 2007 21:59

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bloggsy, what are you playing at? Nothing much to write about?!?!? PAY!!!!!!

06 December, 2007 08:43

 
Blogger PC Bloggs said...

I didn't say I had nothing much to write about, just no time!

06 December, 2007 16:52

 
Blogger Dave JP 1973 said...

I have developed a new piece of kit for all operational officers - A two way mirror and telescope with flashlight that fits over your head whilst driving, with this device it is possible not only to drive along a long narrow residential road en route to another quality domestic at 45 mph at 4am, peering into the darkness trying to find the right house number sprayed on the wall in black aerosol without straining your eyes, but at the same time keep a lookout for oncoming drunk cyclists with no lights on the wrong side of the road and also the wing mirrors of badly parked N reg Vauxhall Vectras with no tax. I've applied for Goverment funding, but they've turned me down, citing that whacking great 1.9% rise us cashgrabbing cops have snatched as the black hole in their budget... Ho hum!

11 December, 2007 00:53

 
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15 April, 2009 10:00

 

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