This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.

(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Monday, December 17, 2007

By popular demand...

Some of you may or may not have heard me on the Stephen Nolan programme last night (Saturday). It went something like this:

SN: So, PC Bloggs, what's the deal with this "target" stuff?
EEB: Er, the deal?
SN: You know, "targets", you know?
EEB: Er, yes, we do have targets. Targets bad.
SN: Right... let's go to the phones...

There followed a number of hilarious callers whose stories of woe consisted of them calling the police and the police not coming. I agreed with them that this was very unsatisfactory, which made for a really good debate. Then they got a traffic cop on who said he couldn't really comment on why no one had investigated the incredibly serious non-injury, non-stop traffic accident that one caller had suffered.

Not my best interview, and we didn't really get to the root of the matter. But we did at least establish that the police are crap and it's all our fault. Except for Thames Valley, who attended a burglary rather well about eight years ago AND have a helicopter.

I'll post something about targets this week, because it always brings out my anonymous abusers and I haven't had to delete any comments for a few days.

In the meantime, my publisher has posted some amusing information about the trials and tribulations of being an anonymous interviewee.

Copyright of PC Bloggs.


Anonymous XTP said...

It seemed that a lot of it was down to the researchers. They decide who to have on don't they? It was very frustrating to have to listen to codswallop (not from you!) about the usual "I rang and you were crap". Middle England wants us to walk about in huge numbers so that they can see a "Bobby on the Beat" and not drive around in cars, but get to their really serious neighbourhood dispute on the other side of the division in 5 minutes.
It sounded rather frustrating for you as well and didn't really add much to the "debate" unfortunately.
You sounded like you knew what you were talking about though!!

17 December, 2007 09:17

Blogger News from Monday Books said...

His producer was very nice. She used to be at BBC Derby and we'd arranged Stu for her on there before and after he 'came out'.
I didn't get the feeling that Stephen Nolan was really on top of the subject, though. He seemed for be surprised that the police spend hours in the station filling out forms, when Copperfield explained all of this to him about a year ago.
As always, you came across well Bloggs. I though the traffic cop who rang in was fairly sensible too. And I did actually have some sympathy with the callers, who want to police to come and sort out their burglaries and prevent disorder in the town centre of an evening.
However, a number of them didn't seem to understand the reasons WHY you don't show up quickly. I prescribe one copy of Wasting Police Time and one copy of Diary of an On Call Girl, with a Gadget tonic to follow.

17 December, 2007 09:51

Anonymous pcR said...

Unfortunately I missed the interview, as I was fighting on the High Street at the time. Fortunately, I was was in uniform, so I could justify it as proportionate, legitimate etc etc.
I sympathize with your disgust at risking exposure on the air:
"Bloggs' cover is not yet blown, and this was putting her on offer a bit. But Bloggs was keen, as long as the BBC agreed to namecheck the book as a quid pro quo."
Glad to see the chance of flogging a few more books made you overcome your nervousness, even if you did have to go ooop north to the country's largest concrete cowpat, Manchester, to do it.
Triples all round!

17 December, 2007 10:49

Blogger PC Bloggs said...

PCR, is your comment aimed at me or Dan, my publisher? If the latter, I suggest you post it on his blog, as he's more than capable of defending himself. If me, I should point out that Dan has always been far more protective of my identity than I have (for which I am exceedingly grateful).

As for the remark about promoting the book: firstly, there are 140,000 police officers who could go on the radio anonymously and talk with equal if not more authority about their job. The point is that I do have an online identity and I don't think it's too much to expect my interviewers to use it, to at least put in context why I've been asked and not one of the remaining 140,000. Secondly, I didn't go to Manchester thank you very much!

17 December, 2007 18:03

Anonymous pcR said...

At weekends my wife calls me D.I McGoogan

17 December, 2007 20:41

Anonymous mel said...

Real "abuse"? Well, nothing posted on these bloggs could ever harm or injure so that only leaves the definition of the term that is synonymous with being offended.

If you become offended when asked points of fact or to expand on a previous statement ... then I suppose by your own narrow definition, you are being "abused" ?

It's a bit thin isn't it, officer?

If one were a cynical sort, it might appear as though you were merely being evasive and reluctant to answer difficult questions or refused to consider anything that was not consistent with your own point of view.

Bit of a bigot in your own way really, aren't you?

18 December, 2007 13:51

Anonymous Stan said...

Mel im offended by you and i dont even know you. Hey who said that you can hide what type of person you are online. I bet your one of those really obnoxious people at work who everyone has to watch out what they say around. Hey i might even work with you, as you sound familier! lol

Keep it up Bloggsy

18 December, 2007 15:27

Blogger PC Bloggs said...

Mel I am sorry you can't understand the advanced vocabulary of my blog.

Abuse = swearing, insults, irrelevant bashing of fellow commenters.

I welcome comments regarding the subject of the post or policing in general, or anything witty or funny however offensive it may be. Everything else will be, and has been deleted - this includes some responses, as they don't make sense once the original remark is removed.

19 December, 2007 12:49

Blogger Howard Wilson said...

LOL very good.

Did you threaten the talk show host that if he put any callers on that were happy with the Police you'd spray him with CS Gas? Or there just weren't any?!

26 December, 2007 04:41

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I struggle to believe TVP have dealt with any burglary well in the last 8 years. And they have 2 helicopters. Both either defected or grounded or at lunch at sully

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