This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.


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Friday, July 13, 2007

Don't blame it on the sunshine:











I am pleased to see the government taking my ideas seriously this week. Just a few days ago I pointed out the importance of finding someone to blame for every mistake, and today I read that there is to be an Inquiry into whose fault all this rain is.

It used to be simple: it was always the Weather-man's fault.

However in the Twenty-First Century we have moved on from this banal kind of finger-pointing. We now back up such claims with at least 3000 pages of proof and spend a great deal of money in the process.

You can never hold too many Inquiries, and I would like to see proper investigations not only into the rain, but into the sunshine, fog and those days when it just drizzles a bit. We have been practicing this policy in the world of law enforcement for decades, and we are almost at the happy stage where every criminal investigation can become subject to a public inquiry if one of the parties to it is not satisfied with the outcome.

The best part of government Inquiries is when the report is printed and no one agrees with its conclusions. We are then able to Blame our problems on the Boogie, content that we have exhausted all possible alternatives.

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7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am old enough to remember the first custody suite camera installed at the main nick of my force. Much the same attitude as yours was the reaction of most officers.
It soon became apparent that the camera was the officer's best friend when some battling berk was brought in and started making complaints about being beaten up in the custody suite. Being a busy chap, the custody suite camera saved me many a discipline hearing.
Unfortunately, given the standard of professionalism of many of today's officers, I can see why they might not be happy having their every action available for subsequent review. I mean, having to remember the caution, telling someone an actual reason for arrest, cutting out the sarky comments and unjustified threats of arrest. The job's simply no fun any more.

13 July, 2007 08:25

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wrong bloody post innit!!!
I didn't say all technology was good now, did I!

13 July, 2007 08:28

 
Blogger McNoddy said...

Government spin continues north of border.

I need HOT not WARM.

13 July, 2007 10:52

 
Blogger BelfastPeeler said...

I thought we were blaming el ninio and the gulf stream shifting or has that gone out of fashion now? Oh I don't know...

I remember hearing on the radio the other day that apparently in Siberia they're not all that convinced that this global warming thing is a bad thing.

Well you wouldn't if you lived in Siberia I suppose.

13 July, 2007 14:22

 
Blogger Busy said...

Mrs Bizzie will tell you that I am, in fact, to blame for the weather having spent the spring gazing forlornly into my ever shrinking pond and muttering "We need more rain."
Sorry.

16 July, 2007 22:37

 
Blogger CFD Ed said...

An obvious indicator of fault, when it comes to torrential rain – especially when on holiday – is to ID whoever forgot to pack the brolly…

26 July, 2007 12:52

 
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03 April, 2009 20:12

 

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