CSI: Portugal

I am pleased to see that the Portuguese police have to jump through the same hoops as I do when it comes to submitting swabs for DNA testing. It appears their turnaround is somewhat slower than Blandmore's though, even when it comes to the most high profile abduction of the year. Perhaps the PC who submitted it put the wrong barcode on the bag, or forgot to write down the seal number. Quite possibly the exhibit was lost in the freezer or accidentally thrown out to make space. These are the obstacles faced by the Twenty-First Century Police Officer.

"CSI: Jamaica" have their own problems this week as they learn how to tell the difference between someone being strangled from behind by a mafia hitman, and someone who has just had a heart attack from eating too many sweets. As a result of the Mysterious Case of the Coach Who Died of Natural Causes, I have recommended to my Area Commander that we reopen some of Blandmore's old shootings, on the off-chance that we have routinely been mistaking embolisms for gunshot wounds.

Come on world, get your act together. You're starting to make the British police look halfway competent, and that would never do.

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