This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


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Sunday, May 27, 2007

A conservative shadow.

I'd love to have been the bobby who took David Cameron out for a spin this week. Whilst he makes plenty of the right noises on his "blog", he has given the game away with the words:

"Three young men arrested for drugs (possession of cannabis, speed and ecstasy) are swiftly cautioned and sent on their way." I have concluded therefore that his ride-along was a set-up, for the following reasons:

In Blandmore this "swift caution" would take many hours: first the drive from place of arrest to the police station, then the booking in (we are up to about two hours now), interviewing them all (an hour each allowing for their consultation with the solicitor). Then there's the hour's search for an officer trained to field-test Speed and Ecstasy (you cannot even caution in my force without a basic test to confirm the drugs are what the suspect thinks they are).

On the the discovery that Ecstasy cannot be field-tested and must go to the lab despite the suspects' admissions, the three suspects would be bailed for three weeks time pending a scientist's report. Of course, given the possibility of the lab test coming back negative, no suspect in Blandmore would ever admit to possession of Ecstasy, so you would not be "cautioning" them anyway.

Three weeks later, on the bail date, you can expect two out of three not to show up. "Wanted" files would therefore have to be created which is a good 2-3 hours work, plus each file would have to be given the go-ahead by CPS. Several years later, when one suspect is stopped for having a brake-light out, he may just get charged.


Perhaps David Cameron just means that the three suspects were read the words of "the caution" before being sent on their way - not to be confused with "a caution". The mistake is easily made.

By the way, one of the above links is to the news that Chris Tarrant has received a caution for playfully lobbing cutlery at a fellow diner. Apparently, the police "[recognised] that there was never any malice on [his] part, just a bit of amiable horseplay". I wonder which force this was, because in mine we aren't allowed to claim detections for "horseplay" - indeed I cannot remember seeing it as a classification for any kind of crime... perhaps we could learn from this.









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10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

With respect to the Tarrant "case", it's probably because people are wondering how an organisation that perpetually whines about a shortage of manpower and money can spare 8 coppers to arrest a celeb over something at best very minor.

28 May, 2007 12:31

 
Blogger totallyun-pc said...

With respect to the anonymous halfwit asking for respect.... want me to lob some cutlery at you in a restaraunt? see if you like it?

A bread roll is horseplay, the knives and forks are at best irrisponsible of any adult, famous or not. He got nicked because of his intent, not because of the "minor" matter it became with hindsight. Read the full story, he was getting some jip from a dickhead in a restaraunt, so rightly he gave some back. But he didn't stop there, he got the hump and reacted badly. The police were called in because he cut someones arm who wasn't involved. Still horseplay? lets see how you react if something like that happened to you or your kids should someone, celeb or not be unable to get over a bit of teasing!
Oh how we love to pretend we don't believe what the papers say... but Tarrants damage limitation statement has worked wonders here... He managed to play down his affairs as jovila friendships, and now his assaults as a bit of Tom Foolery... well done him!.

28 May, 2007 15:09

 
Blogger BelfastPeeler said...

That would make sense, seize the "suspected substance" and deal with them by way of report. Heaven forbid we should actually ARREST people any more (see http://belfastpeeler.blogspot.com/2007/05/you-still-want-me-to-arrest-people-dont.html)

29 May, 2007 10:44

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to comment on one thing: Ecstasy can be field-tested if you use either the NIK or NarcoPouch test kits. Use the Marquis reagent, the test kit for amphetamine, methamphetamine, and opiates. Ecstasy will turn the kit inky black.

29 May, 2007 15:14

 
Blogger PC Bloggs said...

anon, unfortunately Blandshire don't allow field tests of ecstasy. unless the procedure has changed in the last few months, which is likely.

29 May, 2007 15:20

 
Anonymous DI Regan said...

I always just wet the end of my finger, dip it in the bag of powder, into mouth, 'Bingo'! instant analysis!

30 May, 2007 16:51

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

as 1 of the 0.5% of officers on my force who is field test trained I was going to say MDMA can be tested for by field test. But it appears that local protocal has thwarted my smart ass comments.

02 June, 2007 16:34

 
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