This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Closing down the Airwaves.

I am saddened by this story, sent to me by a reader, that radio chatter is to be stemmed by Northants Police in a move to save cash. One of my favourite pastimes is giving amusing "closures" for jobs and making wry comments over the air. (Closing a job is when you inform the control room of the outcome of the incident and what actually happened - as opposed to what the caller said when they called initially.)

My top six wry radio comments are:

  1. "One of them called the police but no one wants to own up to it."
  2. "I know the original caller said someone had been stabbed, but there really are no offences here!"
  3. "I think by 'suspicious', the caller meant 'Irish'."
  4. "The only unwelcome person in this pub is me."
  5. "I have two words for you: substance abuse."
  6. "These aren't the boys we're looking for, they can go about their business. Move along."
Please comment with your own, and join my campaign for our right to yabber.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.

19 Comments:

Blogger busybizzie said...

How about "There's no offences but I've told him to call you straight back if he gets any more snowballs thrown at his house"
or;

"No offences. Caller was trying to report a future crime."
or even;

"This wasn't a domestic. The caller has been referred to another agency for any further relationship counselling."

08 February, 2007 17:13

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Um 'Lights are on but no one in'?

08 February, 2007 18:59

 
Blogger Big Fella in Blue said...

'Comms they dialled the wrong number it seems that they actually wanted the local taxi firm and a B&B for the night'!!

08 February, 2007 21:24

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i followed the link and found to my astonishment that bobbies in northants had 'more than 100 ways of saying yes.'

more than 100 ways of saying 'not in my remit'... now that i would have believed.

08 February, 2007 23:57

 
Blogger Officer Dibble said...

"Informant advised next time they are passing a Life shop to pop in and get one."

09 February, 2007 00:17

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to know what these hundred ways to say 'yes' are! I'm struggling to make 25...

09 February, 2007 01:54

 
Anonymous Yank Mountain Mountie said...

"I'll be clear, Nora-Henry-Ida."

(Nora-Henry-Ida are the radio phonetics in the US for "NHI," No Humans Involved.)

Also, "I'm clear, no paper, refused medical, he agreed to put his pants back on." After just what it sounded like.

09 February, 2007 04:27

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the short results to save money.
LOB - (load of bo**ocks) but you have to be careful as control room sometimes type this on the log.
ATNS - Area traced, no search.

09 February, 2007 09:24

 
Anonymous James said...

I can understand the need to be clear and concise, and leave no room for comments to be misinterpreted by other officers, but how much money are they expecting to save?

09 February, 2007 10:24

 
Blogger ExtraSpecialCopper said...

Its not thaaaat bad!

09 February, 2007 11:50

 
Blogger ExtraSpecialCopper said...

*that was with loads of waffle cut out*

09 February, 2007 11:50

 
Blogger PCFrankyFact said...

The head of Northants Comms is Superintendant SMART.
Ha ha ha.
O2. See wot you can do.
Nice one Bloggs.

09 February, 2007 12:18

 
Blogger PC South West said...

Do you not get annoyed by the long drawn out closures where someone drones on about absolutely nothing relevant, when you are waiting to get in for something slightly more important.
But the short amusing closures are just fine.

09 February, 2007 16:26

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Mrs Krznowskiaia, usual spelling, is unwilling to make any allegations and suggests that officers go forth and multiply. We have obliged her. Please show me meal-break".

09 February, 2007 23:20

 
Blogger PCFrankyFact said...

Bloggs is fab, she is great,
I consider her my mate,
For that word thing at last,
She has kicked it up the ar...christ I've gotta be up for work in the morning.
La la lah. la la lah,
la la la la la la lah,
la la lah, la la lah,
la la la la la la lah.

10 February, 2007 01:21

 
Blogger BelfastPeeler said...

Yes uniform there were a number of youths here but they made off on police arrival.

That caller is reporting that incident for information only (after we've listened to them prattle on for 30 min or more)

I'm here in a liveried vehicle and no ones come forward and made themselves known, we've leaving now.

And my personal favourite

That's us leaving now, no offences disclosed and no complaints.

12 February, 2007 21:54

 
Blogger 成人 said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 美女交友,

嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,
ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片,

愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,

03 April, 2009 19:31

 
Blogger look said...

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

15 April, 2009 03:53

 
Blogger liwo said...

爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性, 做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇,

免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真,

15 April, 2009 11:53

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

 

View My Stats
eXTReMe Tracker