This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.

(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

An Announcement:

The time has come. I have signed up to the small army of police officers marching between two towering walls of water in the hope of leading the nation to the promised land. Or at least making it laugh at the sight of the water crashing down on our heads.

In other words, I am writing a book.
It will (hopefully) come out later this year and I plan to claim overtime for the hours spent writing it. (In case my Finance Department is reading, this is what is commonly known as a "JOKE".)

If the apparent views of most of my readers are to be believed, I am not the only one who is worried/terrified about the way policing is heading in this country. No matter how loudly we shout it, the only people listening are the ones who already agree. The only option is to shout at more people, more often, in more ways.

Being female, I am an expert at this kind of persuasion, and expect to have the Home Secretary cooking me supper and doing the ironing before the year is out.

Watch this space.


Blogger ExtraSpecialCopper said...

I have thought about the idea, but it would mainly be pictures

07 February, 2007 16:34

Blogger Stan Still said...

Will there be a braille version for the Home Office?

They must all be blind not to be able to see the damage they are doing.

07 February, 2007 17:42

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's a book?

07 February, 2007 17:55

Blogger Phill said...

You should delay it so that it comes out in the build up to Christmas. You could even put it in the traditional government advertising:

'Don't drink and drive this Christmas... buy my book instead'

Will regular readers qualify for a signed copy?

07 February, 2007 18:54

Anonymous CJ Nerd said...

OK, you've got a sale here.

For some reason, this: "expect to have the Home Secretary cooking me supper and doing the ironing before the year is out" put me in mind of a song by Queen.

"I want to break free from your lies
You're so self satisfied I don't need you"

Ah yes, that would be the reason.

I now have a nightmare vision of Jack Straw, David Blunkett, Charles Clarke and John Reid dressed up like this:

07 February, 2007 19:04

Blogger Legal Beagle said...

Just wanted to say that I like your blog and have given you a link from mine. Good luck with the book!

07 February, 2007 19:17

Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you promise to send Tony McNobhead one then I shall purchase it, nay, I shall purchase two and use the other as a beating tool for the home office as I only work down the road. Met McNobhead, took him out on patrol and threw him round the car a bit on blats, the guys a twat. AND he never sent me a bloody thank you letter either. knob. I wanted to put that in the toilet next to my photo with the Chief. AND he still refused to believe that everything in Daves book was spot on. You're still banned from Met computers which still means you're doing it right!! Keep up the good work. yay for snow.

08 February, 2007 09:55

Anonymous gratefulpunter said...

I'll buy your book. If enough sell maybe it will embarrass the Home Office into doing something constructive. Who am I kidding? It'll be a good read anyway. Good luck with it, and great blog BTW

08 February, 2007 10:28

Anonymous Joe Public said...


08 February, 2007 13:11

Anonymous Hoddy said...

OK - I'm sold.
I'm an avid reader of the blogs, and your's is 2nd only to Inspector Gadget's.
But (and, due to the equipment belt, it's a big but) - what's the solution? ?

Other than shooting anyone who introduces a new form without removing two old forms, how can we rescue the Police Farce - errr - (Lack of) Service?

Get rid of crime numbers? Put ex-response officers on call prioritisation? Get a clerk for every two front line officers? Get the PCSOs jobs as traffic wardent?
Cut the goolies off anyone who says 'proactive team' in an un-ironic sense?

It's surely too late. Any attempt at a fix now will just delay the inevitable.

Still, you'll be able to retire on the proceeds of the book, which is a Good Thing(TM).


08 February, 2007 13:35

Blogger PCFrankyFact said...

Won't even consider your book until the damn word verification thing is dead.
Hate it, hate it, hate it.

08 February, 2007 15:30

Anonymous Dave (Retired polis) said...

of course you would have to send TWO copies to the Home Office - in view of the proposed post-"unfit for purpose" split!

All the best with the book!

08 February, 2007 15:44

Blogger Big Fella in Blue said...


good luck with the book - once read I will put it next to DCs book and my Thin Blue Line DVD on the shelf next to my PC for reference!

Franky I have now removed my word verification on my blog.

08 February, 2007 21:31

Blogger blueknight said...

If the book was truthful and described the state of the situation, the public would not believe it.
I joined in 1975 and retired in 2005. The mid to late 1980s were the best.
Hardly any political correctness, CPS worked for the Police not the other way round. Facing up to the yobs and criminals was the order of the day and 'ass' was regularly kicked.All this diversity nonsense had not been invented. The best person for the job was the best person for the job and everyone got along fine. We had a couple of police women who the yobs were wary of as they were so punchy.

09 February, 2007 01:11

Anonymous Inspector Gadget said...

hoddy is clearly an excellent judge of character .... cheque is in the post!

09 February, 2007 03:45

Anonymous GSD said...

Oh - I finally got it! The picture is of a Bandwagon - Doh! (They don't call me "Trig" for nothing you know).

Good luck with the book & please type faster - I want to buy it to take on holiday in the summer.

09 February, 2007 10:35

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I take it that it will be a bit like DC's book but less serious and more sarcastic.
A bit more tongue in cheek as it were.

09 February, 2007 16:30

Anonymous Joe Public said...

Got a title yet?

I'm quite fond of Terrific TITs myself.

12 February, 2007 15:49

Blogger BelfastPeeler said...

Its funny you mention drink driving. Every time I see our anti drink drive slogan it reminds me of what would probably happen if work knew I kept a blog

"Its not just your police career that's wrecked"

12 February, 2007 21:58

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