This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.

(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

PC Bloggs Investigates... Non-Crimes.

In the past the police used to employ a lot of people called "police officers" who would go to an incident, decide whether a criminal offence had taken place and if so, arrest someone and create a crime report. These "crime reports" formed the national statistics on crime and naughty "police officers" would often pretend no crimes had happened in order to push the statistics down.

Nowadays, the system has been streamlined. We employ a lot of people called "police staff" whose job it is to take phone-calls and create a crime report for every incident. This is a taxing role and these "staff" have to use all their ingenuity to select the relevant classification for the incident, especially where no criminal offence has actually taken place. The result is that you can call Blandshire Constabulary safe in the knowledge that no matter what you originally phoned for, you will go away with a nice crime number to put on your fridge.

Today I will arrive at work to find ten "open" investigations in my name.
  • Two are thefts where nothing was stolen.
  • One is a criminal damage where no damage was caused.
  • One is a racially aggravated assault where no one got hit, no one gave a statement and no one thought it was racist apart from the member of staff creating the crime report.
  • Three are waiting to be filed because the victim never wanted them opened in the first place.
  • Two relate to incidents I never attended and have no knowledge of.
  • One is a genuine assault with an offender I have been unable to arrest because I am too busy filing the other nine.
Someone somewhere thinks that the police are fiddling the crime figures to make crime appear lower.

Maybe we've got the wrong idea, because Blandshire is doing the opposite.

Copyright of PC Bloggs.


Anonymous justacop said...

This made me laugh out loud it is oh so true thats the tragedy of 'amateurs' doing our job. I dealt with a job last year, racially aggravated criminal damage. I arrived to find that the basis of the racial aspect was because the victim was born in Africa! Both the victim and husband were very embarrased as they told me that the call taker decided to make it racial to be on the safe side when the victim gave her place of birth. Duh !

30 January, 2007 23:19

Blogger Big Fella in Blue said...


its not just Blandshire unless we work in the same force!! My force crimes everything even if its obviously crap/false just in case and sometimes duplicate the crimes. Then they dont look at your workload they just fire it into your crime system, aslong as its off of theirs they are happy. Ive had crimes put into my box when on leave or they put it in just as Im going off on rest days!!

I was sent a job the other day assault in blah blah street, so i looked into it -yes, saturday night outside of a pub, right wheres the injured partys details hang on - wait a minute - INJURED PARTY REFUSED DETAILS - what the f*** am I supposed to do with this and there are no witness details. What a croc of crap.

30 January, 2007 23:40

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It sometimes beggars believe what you seem to put up with down south. Policing in Scotland, we attend calls, which might be given as a racially aggravated breach for example. However if we turn up and it's not racial (or not even a crime) then we just say so and that's the end of it!

Don't get me wrong, we'll make sure we do our job but when dealing with crap, nothing beats a "no crime established, advice given" incident write-off!

30 January, 2007 23:53

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It all goes down to how closely a chief constable is following the stench emanating from the nether regions of his favourite politician.

Scottish Police forces are somewhat insulated from that requirement.


31 January, 2007 12:15

Anonymous sleepy said...

In my force, allegations are simply recorded, as they have to be under NCRS, but no one investigates , its then in the system unless additional verifiable information is found, ie the victim writes a statement in blood admitting they made it up or CCTV sufficiently clear to show the whole incident and an hour either side is found. You can't blame the call takers or the force it's policy that has to change.

Along with supervisors willing to cut the rubbish jobs off the officers intray - it can be done but you have to take the responsibilty and write it up correctly ----if the jobs going nowhere why waste time on it.... seems to work for me

31 January, 2007 15:03

Blogger PCFrankyFact said...

Lets all go to Scotland. It sounds mint.
Oh,and Bloggs. Get shot of your bloody infuriating word recognition thingy will you?
Its driving South West and me and others up the sodding wall.

31 January, 2007 16:53

Blogger BelfastPeeler said...

Our controllers seem to assume that because the person reporting has a name they can't pronounce that the incident was racially motived.

Treating people differently because of their perceived racial group and no other objective grounds; there's a word for that isn't there?

And yes, referrals are the bane of my life. Sometimes a crime report and a statement will just appear in my pigeon-hole. Male assaulted by unknown assailant, no witnesses no CCTV and he wouldn't recognise them again. Riiight. Just how much detective work can I do on that..

02 February, 2007 14:50

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry to shatter the illusion about all being well in Scotland, my force also have the current fetish with crime and solvency figures. As regards Racial incidents, because this has been mentioned on the original captor incident,taken at the FCC, you have to fully explain why you feel it shouldn't be treated as such when you attend. Had the great example last week where I spoke to the family of a 90 year old, getting hassled by locals using her garden as a shortcut.(years ago a public footpath ran through it). Spoke to several local youths, got the matter sorted, and then found out some other cop, not originally involved, had decided to raise a Crime Report. Brilliant!!

04 February, 2007 23:09

Anonymous Anonymous said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 美女交友,

嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,
ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片,

愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,

03 April, 2009 19:13

Anonymous Anonymous said...

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

15 April, 2009 03:32

Anonymous Anonymous said...

爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性, 做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇,

免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真,

15 April, 2009 11:30


Post a Comment

<< Home


View My Stats
eXTReMe Tracker