This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.


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Thursday, January 25, 2007

A Genius in our Time:

In yet another bout of inspiration, the great John Reid has identified a general solution to any situation where there is more work to do than people to do it:
  1. Farm out the work to people who are not supposed to do it and are not trained to do it. If you can possibly use the people who generate the work in the first place, all the better as it will stop them generating any more work.
  2. Ensure that the system for getting the work done is as inefficient as possible and hope that a lot of it falls through the cracks.
  3. If all else fails, just stop doing the work.
The innovation of the Home Office is unparalleled. With half of Blandmore's custody space full of remand prisoners who should be in jail, most of the things I complain about are solved:

We no longer have the problem of over-crowding in the briefing room, as half the shift are working 12-hr gaoler duties in the custody block.

We can no longer arrest people as there isn't room for them. For an account of how little we police really need our cells, see here.

We no longer have to remand people in custody as there isn't space, so no more late-night remand files.

We can no longer attend crappy harassments and petty assaults because there aren't even enough of us to attend crimes that are in progress.

Some say that John Reid has lost his marbles, I say we are merely witnessing one of the great minds of our time.

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5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant work and so quick, I see you've found his brain and already had it forensically examined, will you be returning it to its owner or has he no further use for it. I assume it is not fit for purpose.

25 January, 2007 23:53

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone who removes the need for me to attend 'he-said-she-said' harrasment cases gets my vote for PM!

And does anyone else think that 'Operation Strikeout' sounds like rather a macho title for re-housing remanded crims in Police cells? Sounds more suited to surgical strikes on insurgents in Iraq.....

Should be something like 'Operation Desperate Measures'

26 January, 2007 11:22

 
Blogger Twining says: said...

Ok Bloggs, put that computer down please....Are you saying it's Reid that is incompetent or is it just the Home Office innit?

26 January, 2007 19:44

 
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15 April, 2009 11:32

 

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