This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.

(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Monday, December 15, 2008

Breaking News: Everything Is Going To Be All Right

For the last couple of years I've been somewhat pessimistic about the prospects for policing in this country. But over the weekend, I have had an epiphany. An impossibly cheery email from the Superintendent Responsible For Email-Based Morale has made me realise that the world is really full of smiles and laughter.

In particular, I have realised the following:
  • If we try, we can give people the Service They Deserve.
  • Every Scumbag Behind Bars is my own grandmother's life saved.
  • Criminals can run, but they Can Not Hide. Not For Very Long Anyway.
  • Together, we are STRONGER.
This week I have seen smiling happy faces everywhere in the police station as a result of this email, and can guarantee that crime will fall at least 10% before the end of the day.

God Bless the Superintendent. How could we get any real police work done without him?

'Diary of an On-Call Girl' is available in some bookstores and online.


Blogger uniform said...

Now that is what I call leadership.

E-mail your way to ACPO land on Santa's sleigh.

Shehe must think your all liddle elf workers.

15 December, 2008 09:32

Anonymous Dr Melvin T Gray said...

The ease with which we forget Christmas cures is miraculous.

15 December, 2008 09:40

Blogger Hogday said...

My last Superintendent thought that by going out and making his one annual appearance on the streets, in uniform on New Year's Eve, actually endeared him to the rest of us. He once actually said it was his little bit of `The Nelson Touch`. Taken slightly aback by this incredible comparison and as a reader of the great man's life (not the superintendent's) I politely pointed out that Nelson led from the front on more days than just New Year's Eve,eg: losing his arm at Tenerife leading his men in an attack at Santa Cruz. His men loved him because, despite the general abject cruelty of the times, he was understanding of their needs, used his influence in introducing naval hospitals, ensuring they were as well fed as he could manage, in those times. There were numerous other examples but I didn't like to lecture. I mentioned that he still had them flogged, but because of the sheer respect and devotion they had for him in how he did his job, he still managed to remain the most beloved man in the navy.
That superintendent never liked me anyway.

15 December, 2008 16:42

Blogger Sgt. Custerd said...

If the motivational emails have started so early - well before the 31st March - is the Super's yearly bonus in doubt?

15 December, 2008 19:32

Anonymous Anonymous said...

No 2, not very PC is it?

16 December, 2008 20:43

Anonymous Mick S said...

Lets hope for a rainy christmas, washes shit off the streets for a few hours. Keeps the trash indoors, and senior officers in their cars...

(And you dont have to shovel rain off your path, though Cheshire happily grits during the rain, and it makes for stinky morning interdictions...)

17 December, 2008 06:50

Anonymous TheBinarySurfer said...

There are prospects for policing in this country?

17 December, 2008 12:08

Blogger Area Trace No Search said...


Sometimes I think you could be in my team.

18 December, 2008 00:57

Blogger Sandra said...

I particularly love your comment on how 'criminals can run, but they can not hide' - I'm a police dog handler in Canada, and that's one of our favorite sayings.

Kudos on a great site...if you get a chance, stop on by and check out my 'official' police blog.



18 December, 2008 02:40

Blogger Sandra said...

I guess it helps if I include the name of my blog in my comment..oops...


18 December, 2008 02:41

Anonymous Retired Sgt said...

Yes but I bet your dog is allowed to bite as opposed to headbutting the suspect and doesnt have to wear shoes so as not to upset the sensibilities of Muslims

18 December, 2008 14:02

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dr Mel T Gray......Is there a cure for Christmas? Do share, as I appear to have forgotten it.

Ellie, Thank God for some good news. I am relieved to hear that Everything is going to be alright.
Smiles can be catching.

ER Indoors

19 December, 2008 04:36

Anonymous NOT A MEDIC said...

ER Indoors:

Nope - no cures in sight. Abstinence dodges the old Christmas hangover. Avoiding the rough end of police parties dodges Christmas herpes.

19 December, 2008 08:49

Anonymous Vetnurse said...

Cure for Christmas... turn muslim, buddistic, spiritualist, jehovah witless.

19 December, 2008 10:42

Blogger Whichendbites said...

Do I detect a small outbreak of moral ?

21 December, 2008 15:06

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Super forgot to mention: There's no I in TEAM.

22 December, 2008 10:35

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