This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.

(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Police and their kit:

Pc Byron Emerson-Thomas, 37, wanted first go in the van at the start of a night shift because it was fitted with a new radio, the trial heard.

He denies wounding Pc Aled Bartlett, who needed eight stitches after the incident at a Cardiff police station.

Pc Emerson-Thomas will claim he acted in self-defence, the jury was told.

This case has been met with mockery and laughter, but this is a serious issue. Let me explain: PC Byron Emerson-Thomas was prevented, yes, PREVENTED from driving a police van with a brand new radio, by a discriminatory and bullying sergeant who gave the keys to his colleague instead.

I don't think people realise how important new kit is to police officers. There is no day more exciting than the one they issue new-design fleeces, or the first 08-registered panda car arrives in the back yard. Indeed, new and "Gucci" kit is so desired after that you can leave just about any amount of money lying around the nick and no one will touch it, but leave a bit of fancy kit unattended and it will have been swiped and re-named before you can blink.

Things currently in my kit-bag that don't belong to me:
  • A non-Blandshire issue fleece.
  • A pair of gloves (but someone had stolen mine first).
  • A fancy kind of earpiece for my radio.
  • Another kind of earpiece for my radio.
  • A thing that screws onto the top of my baton and lights up.
  • Some specialised forensic kits.
  • Some bits of velcro with no discernible purpose.
Finally, in honour of telling-it-like-it-is day that I proposed last week:

Copyright of PC Bloggs.


Anonymous XTP said...

We think that the funniest thing about the whole episode is the fact that they were "planning to attend a Lionel Ritchie concert together"!!!

What a pair of plonkers!

Ellie - know what you mean about stuff in kit bags though!

20 February, 2008 18:39

Blogger Whichendbites said...

Just how many of those ear[ieces did you buy yourself because the issues ones were:
a) Never issued.
b) crap.

20 February, 2008 19:20

Anonymous Inspector Gadget said...

Bloggsy - whilst we are on the subject of gash kit, remember when I asked you for one of those Gucci Blandshire Police fleeces? also, that gash fleece you have; is it a Ruralshire Tac Ops fleece? Oh yes, that can be arranged..... for one of the Blanshire Gucci ones. What do you say?

20 February, 2008 19:33

Anonymous Inspector Gadget said...

P.S I'm slightly larger than you and I don't need the extra room at the top in the front OK? (dives for cover)

20 February, 2008 19:35

Anonymous Anonymous said...

£15.25 for a cabernet Sauvignon Corvina and £17.85 for meatball starters? Firstly, you're paying much too much for your wine and you should never drink a Cabernet with meatball starters (Shiraz would be more appropriate unless they're lamb or pork meatballs but that would be soooooooo chavvy). Secondly, Unless you're using the proceeds of your book to supplement your grocery bill, then Blandshire Police arer very well paid (does Jacqui know?).
Thirdly, whatever you have in your kit bag, don't swap it for use of the new van with the shit hot comms system as it drives like a pig (with apologies to any Muslim or Jewish readers).

20 February, 2008 21:01

Blogger Howard Wilson said...

Clearly a case of bad management, someone should have sat them down and told them that Tasers and Dum-Dum Bullets cost money too, so the force can only afford to buy the one vehicle with a new radio. Tsk, they'll be wanting a pay rise next!

21 February, 2008 01:35

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Insp Gadget i didnt realise you were a bit of sleaze.


21 February, 2008 07:26

Blogger PC Bloggs said...

Gadget, what do you mean you DON'T need the extra room in the top?

21 February, 2008 08:48

Blogger thoughts running through my head.... said...


21 February, 2008 08:51

Anonymous pcR said...

You have a baton that lights up!
Will you swop for a digital camera that doesn't work? Or a vehicle seizure form booklet only three years out of date? I could throw in a blanket that hasn't been washed since 2004.....

21 February, 2008 10:50

Anonymous notellin said...

1) Shiny Kit Syndrome is a well known condition the afflicts many in Her Majesty's Service!

2) Shiny Kit Syndrome should be covered by the The Disability Discrimination Act!

3) Can i have my fleece back?

4) Do you want your gloves back?

5) I want one of them screw on baton things!

6) Where do you leave your Bag?

7) Its not theft (ethicaly speaking) if you keep it within the Police Family!

21 February, 2008 11:12

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That must have been some special radio, Where I work officers deny ever having been van trained so thay don't have to drive it.

21 February, 2008 13:48

Blogger Drugsblogger said...

A baton with a light on the end? Why? Why? For increased nighttime accuracy when ahem, coshing someone resisting arrest? So you can find it in the dark recesses of your bag amongst all the other junk. Please enlighten us civilians. I agree about the Cabernet too.

21 February, 2008 16:29

Blogger PC Bloggs said...

drugsblogger, it dazzles your prey so they can't see the blow coming...

21 February, 2008 17:28

Anonymous Matt M said...

So, the light-up top is not to illuminate where the sun never shines?

21 February, 2008 17:59

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Idiots for fighting
Idiots for punching
Hard to put the genie back in the bottle once there's stitches involved though.

On the kit front

Who nicked the first cap badge?

I now own no kit apart from my cap and badge that either
a)Still Health & Safety compliant
b)Still in use
except some covert body armour.

21 February, 2008 19:55

Anonymous ted said...

A baton with a light on the end?

Is that not the 4 cell Maglite torch?

22 February, 2008 00:01

Anonymous useless arse said...

Nearly 18 quid for a meatball starter, there paying you too much ;-)

22 February, 2008 06:15

Anonymous Anonymous said...

all you dummies looking at that receipt and saying bloggs is overpaid...

it wasn't her receipt you dimwits, it's a story from the papers about some totally unrelated girls who upset some restaurant staff who decided to...

oh never mind. (wanders off, shaking head)

22 February, 2008 09:16

Blogger Howard Wilson said...

Actually, that 'receipt' incident highlights a problem for those of us in Retail/Sevice Industries where we're 'face-to-face' with the public and that is of the "professional" complainer;the type who will automatically complain in order to get a reduction or concession, sometimes more. In this instance the restaurant have offered them the value of their meal again, but no, they want an apology AND COMPENSATION ... F.F.S.!

The problem with the 'complainer' is that you get the pressure groups, such as the Consumers Association telling people we don't know how to complain effectively in Britain. Now many people take 'complaining effectively' to mean that after they've played barrack room lawyer and discovered that they'll only get a replacement or a refund for their flat bottle of pop, not the bedroom extension or holiday that their mate down the pub assured them would be offered, some of them get abusive, which then, too often, leads to violence!

I ejected one man a couple of weeks ago, I thought he was just a 'barker' not a 'biter', I got the manager of the shop next door as an independent witness (can't be too careful with the pigs having SOCAP legislation, arrest first, ask questions later!) asked the 'gentleman' to leave, confirmed he was refusing to leave, then assisted him to the door, where the Traffic Warden was walking past, so numtie insisted that TW arrest me, what a knob! The Traffic Warden came past later and we had a giggle, a brew and swapped some "you wouldn't believe it stories".

22 February, 2008 09:56

Anonymous useless arse said...

annonymous 9:16

all you dummies looking at that receipt and saying bloggs is overpaid...blah blah blah...

It was a joke you moron ( well you called me a dimwit )Yes it was about as funny as you on a night out I guess but eh, there you go! Now my turn to walk shaking my head.

22 February, 2008 10:14

Blogger butterflywings said...

I don't think what was written on that receipt was acceptable.
Afaik the women had justifiable complaints about the service, mainly waiting too long for the food.
"Professional complainers" is usually a slur on women for daring to complain at all, even when the complaint is genuine. We all make false accusations out of malice and should shut our whining faces right?
Yes, some complaints are petty, but men are as bad at this as women.
Even if the complaint is not justified, the way to deal with it is *professionally* and *politely*. Apologise, offer a proportionate reduction in the bill. If they're still not happy, tell them to write.
Smile and be polite. NOTHING more annoying to the kind of customer who is picking a fight.
NOTHING excuses writing that on the receipt. Nothing.
I've worked in a shop and had some absolute pain in the arse customers, strangely I never felt the need to swear at them, much less suggest they perform sexual acts. Typical macho posturing of the moronic variety.

22 February, 2008 11:01

Blogger Drugsblogger said...

That's very funny about the dazzling. Now here's something else. I'm sorry not to email you and the other police bloggers about this as I don't want to reveal my email address. But as you know I work in the drugs/crime/mental health field(s)and... Lord Bradley is conducting an important review (non-political I hope) in to ways in which people with mental illness and problems which compound them (drugs blah blah) can be diverted out of the criminal justice system. His review is consulting at the moment and the consult ends on Feb 28th. I think it may be a major piece of work which will make a difference and he wants to hear from anyone and everyone with an interest. This means you and your colleagues too. I've submitted my thoughts and now's your chance - do it at

This is a really good opportunity for everyone from grass roots to top bananas to get in. Go on, you know it makes sense. If you want to know more just Google Bradley Review. Cheers.

22 February, 2008 17:44

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok I may be a little late but I can tell what they told the press isn't exactly true. the officer in question didn't want the van with the new 'police' radio. he wanted the van with the FM radio because this happened on the evening of the UEFA cup final and he wanted to listen to the football!

the bosses then made the other PC pursue the charges then today he is found not quilty. The judge adding it was a trivial matter, 8 stitches trivial!!!!????

22 February, 2008 19:25

Anonymous ted said...

"The judge adding it was a trivial matter, 8 stitches"

But don't forget the judge would be allowing for the fact that being assaulted is part of the job of a police officer.

23 February, 2008 18:30

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What can I say!

My father who served the Met for 28 years told me that unless it was nailed down or had your name engraved on it 2 inches deep any item of kit would go missing. I found this to be true when I was working with the British Transport Police and saw bits of gucci kit wandering all of the time.

As for the Officers fighting over driving the van. If I had been sitting the day they were in Court I would have ordered that they have their heads banged together and made to sit on the naughty step for two hours each. And shame on them both for letting it get to Court in the first place!


25 February, 2008 09:59

Blogger Sergeant Simon said...

careful with the screwy light batony thing! Bonk someones noggin with that and lawyers have a field day- its no longer a police issue baton but an adapted offensive weapon.... despite it making it much more useful, I got rid of the one I had after hearing horror stories.

Of course, my kit bag is full of non-issue stuff. If I only had job issue stuff, I wouldn't need a kit bag.

But then I wouldn't be able to do my job!

25 February, 2008 17:35

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