This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Damned if you do...

Two recent Blandmore circular emails:

1
To: Blandmore response officers
From: The Inspector Responsible for Caring About Stuff
Date: 26th February 2008
Subject: Search forms
Area Intelligence has drawn attention to the fact that search-forms are not being submitted in a timely manner to be logged on the system. This means that important information about local criminals being stopped and searched in high-crime areas is not appearing on the intelligence system for several days. This damages our ability to link criminals to crime patterns. From now on, ALL SEARCH FORMS must be put directly into the Intelligence-Collection letterbox without being seen by a sergeant. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

2
To: Blandmore response officers
From: The Inspector in Charge of Target-Achievement
Date: 26th February 2008
Subject: Search forms
At present there is no way to record the quantities of search-forms submitted by officers in a timely manner. This makes it hard for the area to reach its HQ-set targets in this area. There has also been an issue with the quality of the forms, not containing vital statistic-related information such as the size of the subject's shoes and their Zodiac signs. From today onwards, ALL SEARCH FORMS must go directly to your sergeant for checking and signing, to be logged on a target-achievement sheet and counted towards our monthly targets. Do not submit them directly into the Intelligence-Collection letterbox. Thank you for your cooperation.

Treading a path between orders like these is how a good proportion of my working life is spent.

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Copyright of PC Bloggs.

14 Comments:

Blogger Metcountymounty said...

now you see, I get myself in trouble with emails like that, not because I don't comply, but because I have forwarded both emails onto the other recipient and stated that I will only do as my direct reporting inspector tells me as the organisation can not agree on what it wants operational officers to do.

27 February, 2008 20:46

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Search forms?? You mean we still have to fill those in? Oops.We have had emails stating our old forms cannot be submitted any more. The problem is the new ones aren't yet in general circulation. Finally, less paperwork!

27 February, 2008 22:40

 
Blogger Paradise Driver said...

Have you ever read the book or seen the movie "Catch-22"?

28 February, 2008 02:52

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These boys and girls were certainly damned.....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7267084.stm

Sure beats patrolling a tasking area!

28 February, 2008 06:29

 
Anonymous Inspector Gadget said...

These Inspectors are fools. I think the rank should be abolished. Sergeants should go straight to Chief Inspector. All current Inspectors should be promoted and sent to HQ with a parking space. (Especially those who write Blogs).

28 February, 2008 07:13

 
Blogger Metcountymounty said...

You're somewhat bias I think guv....

28 February, 2008 10:56

 
Blogger Busy said...

Hmm, our favourite double standard is recording criminal damage. "This damage may have been caused by accident or by a wind borne object. Reclassify as no crime."

"If it is not known how this damage was caused it must be assumed a crime has taken place. Crime immediately."

If you look up 'can't win' in the dictionary, there's a picture of me.

29 February, 2008 12:19

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do the form - photocopy it - send one to the Sergeant and submit the other.
Then sit back and wait for the confusion a week later when they try to double input the stop!!

29 February, 2008 14:04

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The problem is that there are far too many Inspectors and above doing jobs like this and getting paid a fortune for doing them whilst an ever reducing number of real police officers are doing more and more tasks like this in order to justify their "colleagues"
empires.And dont get me started on Supts-in my old force if you wanted a Super at FHQ you went to the nearest photocopying machine.It really is time to save hundreds of thousands a year and cut a swathe through much of the middle&senior management in the police and put the money into the front line whilst ensuring that the "managers" that are left are properly supported by good civilian admin and the leaders ie the patrol Insps and Sgts are left to get on with policing and delivering what the public wants

29 February, 2008 14:13

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All this confusion means that there should be a form liaison post created - with support staff.
And a form interactivity statistical department sounds necessary as well.
no muddling along.

29 February, 2008 22:14

 
Anonymous pcR said...

No-one fills in stop search forms in our force unless there is a danger of the stop becoming "evidential" later on; ie: you've just boshed a job and hope nobody twigs until the early turn come on in the morning and pick up the fall out from the night before. In such cases the forms are filled in retrospectively if anyone asks you where the form is.
The only people who do fill them in are pcsos, no doubt in a desperate bid to justify their pointless existence.

29 February, 2008 22:48

 
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