This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.

(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Faking It: Blandmore

A reader has drawn my attention to Derbyshire Police's cunning use of a cardboard cut-out police officer to deter shoplifters.

I would like to point out that Blandshire Constabulary has been using this ploy for years. In Blandshire, we make the cut-out police out of crepe paper. They don't last as long and they dissolve in bad weather, but as they tend to migrate to the Met within a year of their creation we've found it cheaper this way.

As always in Blandshire, we have gone far further than merely cutting fake bobbies out of pulp-derived material. Indeed, we have also introduced plastic key-rings in lieu of prosecutions, and criminal-justice-shaped wallpaper. All of which we firmly believe has prevented a raft of criminal activity this year.

We hope soon to launch a range of punishments made from soft-bake cookie dough.

Copyright of PC Bloggs.


Blogger alanorei said...

Dear PC Bloggs,

I am glad to see that in addition to being an 'On-call Girl,' you are also ahead of the game...

Keep up the good work.

P.S. I am planning to attend a police surgery on October 15th. I would be happy to extend your compliments to your colleagues up here in the northeast.

04 October, 2007 18:20

Blogger The Enforcer said...

PC, Awesome blog ya got here.
We use alot of those touchy feely kinder gentler law enforcement techniques here. I saw a pair of regulation handcuffs the other day at the copshop (the new metal / polymer ones) that come in the color pink. (Im sure the criminals will be much calmer in pink handcuffs)

04 October, 2007 18:54

Anonymous Twining said...

Bloggs it's not a cardboard cut out of a Police Officer at all.I have reliable information that actually it is a picture of their outgoing Chief Constable. Honestly, how can that be a picture of a Police Officer? I ask you?

04 October, 2007 20:11

Blogger Metcountymounty said...

There is just no limit to the ways that people in the ivory tower can make us look ever more rediculous. I bet that cardboard cut out and associated press cost a damn sight more than the watercooler that they have just taken away from response officers for 'buget reasons' because as we all know, stabbies are designed to keep you cool and hydrated aren't they. Oh and the SMT offices and typist got to keep theirs... nice that, my morale is lifted.

04 October, 2007 21:29

Anonymous pcR said...

I personally think that the cut out cop thing is a good idea, as long as the cut out is of a big strapping 6'5" male officer rather than a short fat female officer that can't do press ups.
Tee hee!

05 October, 2007 14:28

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't Treason illegal anymore..

06 October, 2007 23:02

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15 April, 2009 08:58


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