PC Borat.

Daniel Finkelstein has declared that if cops are racist, statistics are the way to prove it. I disagree. I believe that if cops are racist, Borat is the way to prove it. We could send him in undercover to do "Ride-alongs" in UK panda cars and see what happens.

Here are five comments I would be highly surprised if Borat hears in Britain:

1. "Shave off your moustache, pal, you look like a terrorist." Surely the guy who made this remark knows that it is a BEARD that makes you look like a terrorist.
2. "A 9mm is the best gun with which to shoot a Jew." We only shoot Brazilians here.
3. "Stop singing that comical spoof of a foreign national anthem." Comical spoofs of foreign national anthems are the Brits' bread and butter.
4. "You have met someone from what is known as the Gay Community." Here we just say, "He was a bender."
5. "Women should be educated and not stay at home." In Blandmore, if not the rest of Britain, it is the lifelong ambition of most women to stay at home having the maximum number of children possible for the biggest state benefit.

Politics is too high-brow a subject for me, however, so in a week when Britain is devolving and a Russian spy leaves a trail of radiation across the nation, I would like to focus on the important story of the week: a man whose trousers were struck by lightning.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.