This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

PC Borat.

Daniel Finkelstein has declared that if cops are racist, statistics are the way to prove it. I disagree. I believe that if cops are racist, Borat is the way to prove it. We could send him in undercover to do "Ride-alongs" in UK panda cars and see what happens.

Here are five comments I would be highly surprised if Borat hears in Britain:
  1. "Shave off your moustache, pal, you look like a terrorist." Surely the guy who made this remark knows that it is a BEARD that makes you look like a terrorist.
  2. "A 9mm is the best gun with which to shoot a Jew." We only shoot Brazilians here.
  3. "Stop singing that comical spoof of a foreign national anthem." Comical spoofs of foreign national anthems are the Brits' bread and butter.
  4. "You have met someone from what is known as the Gay Community." Here we just say, "He was a bender."
  5. "Women should be educated and not stay at home." In Blandmore, if not the rest of Britain, it is the lifelong ambition of most women to stay at home having the maximum number of children possible for the biggest state benefit.
Politics is too high-brow a subject for me, however, so in a week when Britain is devolving and a Russian spy leaves a trail of radiation across the nation, I would like to focus on the important story of the week: a man whose trousers were struck by lightning.

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Copyright of PC Bloggs.

13 Comments:

Blogger ExtraSpecialCopper said...

oh dear why on earth was that lightning story not plastered across all the papers??

28 November, 2006 18:44

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is very surprising that Mr Finkelstein, presumably being an educated man, would use the term 'racist'. It may be that the word he was looking for was 'racialist'. We are all racist, being members of the human race as opposed to an equine race or porcine race, well, apart from that Inspector who always sends me out to those crappy jobs, but I digress. However, we have different racial characteristics. If a person is bigoted enough to form opinions based purely on those racial characteristics, that bigot is a racialist, not a racist. One discussion to bring up on your next diversity course!
'O' level English.

28 November, 2006 20:28

 
Blogger PC Bloggs said...

Actually anon, if we're going to be picky: "Racialist" is a term much like "feminist" or "capitalist" which denotes a way of viewing the world. For example a literary critic might take a racialist view and critique texts from the perspective of race issues. "Racist", on the other hand, has always been a negative term like "anti-semitic" or "homophobic". The meaning of "Racialist" you are using died out in the 60s, along with 'O' levels.

28 November, 2006 20:56

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your argument is well-founded but, I feel, not correct. The term racialism (n) is a hostile attitude or behaviour based on the superiority of one's own race. It can include race-snobbery, class distinction, racial baiting or even misandry.
We must agree to differ and please don't use your blog to take the piss over different points of view. It belittles what is a witty, informative, series of articles.
O level English

28 November, 2006 21:40

 
Blogger PC Bloggs said...

I do apologise, I certainly didn't intend my blog to take the piss (v) over different points of view...

28 November, 2006 21:42

 
Blogger Joe B. said...

Finkelstein is a notorious statophile. If I had a young statistic I would not let that man any where near it.

You sure can spot a suspicious looking beard. That one's a doozy.

29 November, 2006 00:52

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for adding me to the sidebar - God bless Twining - policeandraceinnit.

29 November, 2006 09:33

 
Blogger Bitseach said...

Let's have a vote - I support "racist" myself. [The word that is, not the actions, words, sign, visible representation etc.]

On the other hand, that footie act talks about "racialist chanting" but I always thought that it sounded sort of quaint and old-fashioned. Again, just the word, not the actual ....blah etc etc.

29 November, 2006 22:00

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your apology, even ifd that was tinged with irony, though I regret you are again incorrect in that the use of the word piss is not a (v). The work 'taking' is the (v) as it is denotes an act. The word 'piss' is, again, a (n) in this context.
On another note, I have had a look at your blog, the forming of it and the amount of time it must take to keep this up to date and feel that all is not as you are telling it. You are using (again) irony to describe actions in the world of policing and then letting the bloggers have their say. Could it be that you are really a (1) journalist, or (2) a graduate with an ology, and a book to be published in a year's time taking a large number of Policemen's (and women's) messages and showing the readers what a bunch of racist, sexist, bigoted bunch they are. It's time to tell the truth, are you really a serving Police officer? If so, do you work full time or part-time (thus allowing the updating of your blog).
'O' level English

30 November, 2006 22:41

 
Blogger hobbybobby said...

For someone who seems desperate to know more about the identity of PC Bloggs, it's somewhat ironic (adj) that you're hiding behind an anonymous login.

Anon also wrote:

"...showing the readers what a racist...bunch they are."

Don't you mean racialist? make your mind up, please!!! ;)

01 December, 2006 18:31

 
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