- Apparently more Muslim women than ever are wearing the veil now that Jack Straw has said it makes him uncomfortable. If only Jack Straw would speak out against imprisonment for young offenders and advocate stiffer Detection targets for police forces, we might get somewhere.
- Schools have come up with another alternative to expelling pupils who just won't wind their necks in. Kids who fail the drug-testing can be given "Counselling". Bless.
- Saddam Hussein is going to be hanged. Fortunately he wasn't tried in England or he would have been given a Rehabilitation Order.
- Having realised they can only eat one pigeon at a time, Pelicans have launched a mass strategy to take out their rivals.
- Finally... a shift officer in GMP decided yesterday that it was time his team got a new car.
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