This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.

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Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas Isn't

Christmas isn't Christmas for the boys and girls in blue.  But not for the reasons you might think.

For the police, Christmas isn't the stream of violent domestics.  It isn't the fight in town, the drink-driver on the High Street.  It isn't the stabbing on the Porle and the family it tears apart.

Christmas isn't leaving while the rest of the family are arriving.  Or dragging myself out of bed for turkey and presents.  Or passing on the champagne and port.

Christmas is a box of Roses in every department.  It's an empty inbox.  It's having no crime reports put in your name.  It's not seeing anyone with more than two pips.

Christmas is the A&E nurses in Santa hats, it's the fairy lights on the custody desk, the mince pies in briefing.

It's finding the missing grandfather and taking him home.  It's going nowhere without blue lights on.  It's saying, "Thank you, I will," or "As it's Christmas..."

Christmas might not be the same for me as for the rest of my friends and family.  But I get to be a real police officer for a day, which means it isn't all bad.

Happy Christmas to all my readers.

'Diary of an On-Call Girl' is available in some bookstores and online.


Anonymous Norn Iron said...

A lovely post, it made me think, everything is true. I was working late-plusses this year, left home at 3 after wolfing some Xmas dinner in.

We relieved the early crew who were dealing with a fatal RTC since 11am. When I heard what had happened it made me think of the father who never got Christmas dinner this year. We were joined by the boss at 7pm who brought a box of sweets and some encouraging words, which was nice. He was allegedly only supposed to be working until 3pm.

Merry Xmas and happy new year from an avid reader.

27 December, 2011 23:21

Blogger Bravo Sierra Control said...

I love working Christmas.

We were ludicrously Q, which allowed for banter in the Control Room and over the radio. The only jobs we had were really worthwhile ones - genuine concerns-for-safety and burglaries - and our only callers had real need of us. We dealt with them all properly. We didn't get any stupid emails.

We did get one visitor with more than one pip, but he'd only come to give us a box of Roses.

We of the wider Response department worked so that our colleagues with kids wouldn't have to, we did the necessary and there was no crap. I loved this run of shifts.

28 December, 2011 00:01

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Christmas is one of you being slotted as we chant "Die Mutha Fucker die!"

28 December, 2011 13:04

Blogger Dave the Dog said...

Hope you have a Good New Year and a better 2012. Best Wishes.

28 December, 2011 18:15

Anonymous Mrs Doughnut said...

Lovely post!
I hope you had a Joyful Christmas, and wish a Happy new Year!!

29 December, 2011 13:22

Anonymous painauchocolat said...

Chris Ferguson's a nice piece of work, isn't he (or she)?

Have a read of his blog to understand why he (or she) is willing to post filth like this.

30 December, 2011 13:51

Anonymous Anonymous said...

and being able to park at the nick because all the civvie support staff are on holiday....

31 December, 2011 14:33

Anonymous Mac said...

Unfortunalty for us this Year, Xmas Eve night was the usual, expected, mayhem.

However the surprise was that Xmas night was busier than a normal Sunday, with half the normal staff.

That said it's still my favourite time to work because the internal organisation seems to work so much better, given only those that are actually useful are working! Keep it quiet though or they'll stop booking leave.

01 January, 2012 20:06

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy New Year to all...xx

01 January, 2012 22:49

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course it is a free country. Which is why I live abroad;)

02 January, 2012 10:14

Blogger Minnie said...

Brilliant! Puts everything into perspective, pithily and wittily.
Too late to wish you a merry Christmas; but not quite too late to wish you all the best for 2012.

07 January, 2012 12:24


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