This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.

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Friday, September 25, 2009

Shock Horror of Police Expenses Revealed Here Now Today

After years of stifled silence, today I can finally reveal the appalling truth of police officers' expenses and how they feather their nests with handouts from the public purse.

DID YOU KNOW police officers claim mileage to attend courses and court?! The full and filthy truth is that they get a few pence more per mile THAN THEY ACTUALLY USE?!

DID YOU KNOW that some officers use the tyre pressure gizmo at work on their own personal cars!!!

DID YOU KNOW police officers can claim for extra food if they have to stay on duty over a certain amount of hours? Their receipt will be reimbursed IN FULL, less than six weeks later!

DID YOU KNOW police officers claim it back if they buy clothing and medication for prisoners, or headlight bulbs for their marked cars!

I was so disgusted when I heard about these claims in light of our poor troops in Iraq that I have reluctantly accepted £110,000 from the media to print these truths.

(Note: all proceeds from this blog go to the Police Roll of Honour Trust. But I claim them back on expenses.)

'Diary of an On-Call Girl' is available in some bookstores and online.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You forgot about the car wash facility and the free drinking water and the civilian support worker that makes sure that any claim not submitted with crossed t's and dotted i's and receipts is binned.

25 September, 2009 20:24

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The money you get back when claiming for food counts as income for tax purposes, so you lose about 40%.

25 September, 2009 23:07

Blogger Hogday said...

The other outrageous fact you carefully concealed from your public was the fact that these claims are scrutinised several times and often questioned for justification before being passed to the reluctant paymaster for doling out, (less tax as grassed-up by Anon, above).

26 September, 2009 08:51

Blogger Neil80 said...

I hate the whole philosophy out there that feigns outrage that the 'tax-payer' should in anyway contribute to any kind of perks or rewards for public servants.
The fact is, more often than not they don't. No free tea, fruit, or sponsored barbecues in the Public Sector. Yet somehow the impression persists in the media that anyone in public life is on the Gravy Train.

The local Rag in my area thanks to lazy journalism and a FOI request 'exposed' that the local force spent 100k per year on tea bags. This data was used to cobble together a story in the mould of said outrage, but was swiftly blown apart by commentors on the papers own web site who suggested that the 100k was for teabags for prisoners and that in fact officers had to pay for their own!

26 September, 2009 09:24

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would like to confess I get £2 off every Chineese meal I get from the local take away.My other perk is I get to use my PSU water bottle when I go hill walking ... My resignation is in the post. Oh the shame!.


26 September, 2009 18:51

Blogger Stressed Out Cop said...

I've got a job mobile phone and get a monthly bill where I mark out any personal calls I make. Usually works out at 30p or less. The job gets special rates from one of the providers.

All goes onto a spread sheet in FnR and last years total was less than 2 quid. Tried to pay over 5 pounds so I was in credit for the next year but not allowed.

So I can't work out how those with job credit cards were able to run up massive bills for personal stuff .. that's the best perk, except for those who got nicked.

27 September, 2009 13:06

Anonymous Anonymous said...


27 September, 2009 15:46

Anonymous Dave said...

I personally think vibrating bannanas should be part of the kit.

27 September, 2009 17:55

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the good Dr. does not realise is that as Cops we deal with this sort of Shite every day...

I can break his above statement down as such.

1. I've been an arse and the Police have pointed this out to me in a blunt, straight forward manner. I feel a bit embarrassed and so I will huff, puff, kick and scream and so will put a complaint in about you all for being nasty.

2. Do you not know who I am. I know people who can get you sacked.

3. I am telling my Lawyer. I am going to sue you for every penny.

4. You have not heard the last of this. I'll have your job....

Change the record Melv. I heard the same from a 14 year old Burglar who I PACE 1'ed last night.. Yawn.


27 September, 2009 18:04

Blogger Hogday said...

2. Do you not know who I am. I know people who can get you sacked.

The above is a regular and was a particular favourite of mine, because it allowed me to get on my p/radio and say, "Can I have a doctor please, there's a bloke talking to me who doesn't know who he is".

28 September, 2009 08:08

Blogger Virtual Supply said...

You are way out of line with this one, for now, you are the one that ‘doesn’t get it’. Comparing your silly squanderings of meal allowance, sick pay and a million other little soaks that cost the tax payer a couple extra quid each on their Council Tax (Seven quid according to a flyer that came through my door) to the events concerning Servicemen is uncalled for and not needed.

Servicemen undergo a change in lifestyle and values that you as a Police Officer will never undergo and never fully understand. You get to claim overtime for working a little past the clock.

The serviceman is paid to work twenty four hours a day, every day, every year until they complete their terms of service. You get a little uniform allowance, and boy I hear your complaints about how its icky in the summer, how it makes you stand out on nights, how it attracts attention to you when your going home in the car and how the cap badge and the thingy for torches doesn’t quite work the way your ‘think’ it should.

The servicemen gets a generous uniform supplement because he is going to wear that kit all day every day in many countries in many conditions, day and night with no extra allowance.

No, you cannot compare the police force with the armed services, hells teeth, you go around killing innocent civilians with your cars, casco sticks and guns and get away with it. The worst that will happen to you is you might be jailed. Our serving military people don’t get away with it, they come back in a bloody box, and the worst that can happen to you is that you will be fired, our boys and girls are fired at!

You have crossed a line, and probably knew you were. You are just a whining, pointless, job laden blogger. Bitching about the perils of your dream job, complaining about the cost of doing the job you volunteered for and suggesting that if it were not for good people like yourself, people like Fiona Pilkington and her daughter, Baby P, Ian Tomlinson and others would not be boxed off as they have been. Leave it out. There is no way that you lot even come close to the guys wearing the Queens standard with pride, you’re not even in the same league, you don’t get it, do you.


29 September, 2009 10:07

Blogger PCDC-Copper Bottom said...

Yes- true- and service personal CHOOSE to do so.

We do not draft anymore.

I would guess that 'friendly-fire' in the last two wars in Iraq have killed more innocent Iraq and Afgan civvies than the Police have EVER done since the beginning of the Peelers.

That is not really fair eh?

Also, were I to continue with this - what about the Iraq civvies that were tortured to death? How many more will come to light? I mean its front page news when a copper slaps someone! Let alone shoots them accidentally... (ahem, not in training...)

To date- a death toll of the war in Iraq ALONE is 100,000 to 150,000...

Not by our boys on their own, of course - but when we engage Insurgents in those kinds of theatre- we are going to hit civvies...

I remember my days in camo- and most of my mates were very happy to get stuck into anyone!

As to wearing the Queens standard with pride- I was a fusilier and I have been in the Police for 20-years... I think I have earned the right to wear it.

It is you, sir, that is 'out of order'.

I agree with one thing- you can't compare the two - that's just silly. Completely different priorities...

Oh- and I met plenty of moaners in the Army... life eh?

29 September, 2009 18:13

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is most worrying about your post is the clear way you despise the officers you work for. No wonder its so hard to get hold of any new kit when mine gets destroyed.

29 September, 2009 22:55

Blogger PCDC-Copper Bottom said...

I love the 'service staff can do no wrong' under current..

check this out..

still think your boys dont kill people?

30 September, 2009 13:13

Blogger PC Bloggs said...

Virtual supply, I'm afraid you kind of missed the point. My post had nothing to do with the army and if the sarcasm wasn't obvious, the link should have made things clearer.

30 September, 2009 17:59

Anonymous phatboy said...

Neil, how many people are arrested in your local area?

Just looked on Tesco website and 100 PG Tips bags cost £2.99. That about 3p per teabag. If the local police are spending £100K at that price (and for such a bulk buy I hope they get a discount) that means they are going through about 3.3 million teabags a year! Even if every prisoner got 10 cups of tea every day that's still 33,333 prisoners every year and I bet a lot of them don't even drink tea!

Maybe somebody should investigate this area to see whether there is a massive fraud going on or if they have a teabag thief.

02 October, 2009 17:08

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