This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.

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Thursday, July 09, 2009

The world of the news

At last, the police have been brought in to investigate the press.

I think it's fair to say that the nancy-pansy liberals have had their own way for long enough and it's time to CRACK DOWN. First, there's Damian Green, endangering NATIONAL SECURITY by blabbing embarrassing secrets to the press. Then, an upstart blogger deigned to win the Orwell Prize by TELLING THE TRUTH. But they were soon shut down.

I am gratified to see that the Criminal Justice System is finally putting its well-practised machinery into use to stifle the voices of dissent that plague our country. If only everyone would stop complaining, everything would be just fine.

Now is the chance for the police, acting as the long arm of democracy, to put down problematic investigative journalism once and for all. All those years spent building up a web of tangled bureaucracy to shield our operations from scrutiny can be put to good use.

As a police officer myself, you might think I'd be confused by the increasing use of our powers to tackle the inconvenient things in life. You might think I'd be alternately angry, resistant, and terrified, that one day I'll find a search warrant or arrest request, put in my docket by a politician and followed up on by a bureaucrat. If you think that, you've forgotten that police officers don't have brains, principles, or the tools to make their own decisions. We don't understand the big important things anyway.

The fax machines in the Ivory Tower are whirring with messages from Whitehall. From the balcony, great golden fingers pinpoint at random the priority for the day, or year. The hands that bear them are lost in the clouds above.

And down on the streets of Blandmore, there are drug-dealers, armed robbers and relentless burglars, going about their day-to-day business untroubled by the machinnations of the state.

'Diary of an On-Call Girl' is available in some bookstores and online.


Anonymous Retired Sgt said...

Its marvellous how fast the Met have swung into action over this one-state secrets like "how many pie and chips did Prescott eat" clearly need to be investigated in depth.
The fact that the Communications Director of the Conservative Party was the editor of News of the Screws when this story first broke about 3 years has clearly got nothing to do with the fact that the once finest police force in the world has been reduced to doing Labours bidding at the drop of a hat...

09 July, 2009 14:51

Anonymous Paperchaser said...

Oh Christ. I love cops, really, my family is full of them. But when the laws they're told to enforce are rubbish, and when it seems like their time (which, as public servants, they can't really control) is being devoted to liberty-damaging bullocks instead of all of the things a normally mentally healthy person would like their time to be devoted to (like helping us all not get stabbed) no wonder everybody ends up hating their guts and treating them - some of the most self-sacrificing and disinterested people operating in society - like scum.

It gets my goat.

You can have your blog back now.

09 July, 2009 16:18

Blogger Inspector Leviathan Hobbes said...

Hang on a minute. The politicians could sue for invasion of privacy? What about DC Horton? Will Lancs Police now investigate journies turning up at his home address to get a photo? Or going through his Facebook account to find his brother? Nah, didn't think so.

09 July, 2009 16:34

Anonymous MarkUK said...

Frankly I don't give a stuff whether the people whose phones were hacked were slebs & politicos or just Joe Soap & his missus.

The hacking was illegal.

However, it seems that both the Met and the Office of the Information Commissioner were aware of this fact quite a while ago. Why did they wait until The Grauniad broke the story before getting their collective arse into gear and investigating?

Surely that is the real scandal.

09 July, 2009 22:07

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The red top tabloids have been out of control for quite some time and are well known for harassing people and printing lies which cause a great deal of harm and hurt to people's lives. They need to be slapped down and regulated a lot better than they have been, because there are sections of the press who do behave like a law unto themselves.

The tabloids have not cared, if what they have printed for public consumption is a load of fabricated nonsense. They hurt people, often with lies, which ruins lives. When the newspapers smear someone with mud, it sticks and can never be removed. Other people then use the press articles as "evidence" to discredit people.
Only the very rich can afford to take on the press for any defamation they are responsible for. And any public figure becomes a target for having their lives and privacy invaded by stalking hacks. That is out of order.

10 July, 2009 03:54

Blogger uniform said...

Brilliant , quite brilliant.

10 July, 2009 09:54

Anonymous Retired Sgt said...

Well it now appears that Mr Yates of the Yard has knocked this one on the head much to the chagrin of every NuLab supporter in the country-yes BOTH of them but now the CPS are going to see if they can brown nose the politicos....
As far as this scandal goes it appears a good coppers phrase covers it..."Move along now if you please there is nothing to see"

10 July, 2009 15:31

Anonymous Retired Sgt said...

Now the Home Office are "demanding" that the police pass all the information on this "scandal" to them.Why? The reason is of course so they can pass it onto NuLabour political commissars so they can trawl through it to find info to smear the Cameroons-and on the way find "black" on lots of other people.This of course raises even greater questions of privacy as the state will now have details of calls of (if the Grauniad is to be believed) hundreds of phone calls and contacts.Can this information be passed does not the Data Protection Act prevent this-in my old force we werent even supposed to look at crimes outside the area in which we worked so how can the Home Office "demand" this information?

11 July, 2009 11:07

Anonymous TheBinarysurfer said...

The press, doing illegal things? Really!

Next tonight on world of the obvious, we investigate if fire really is hot!

14 July, 2009 18:16

Anonymous Anonymous said...


At last, the police have been brought in to investigate the police bloggers....
You know who you are.

19 July, 2009 08:17

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Would that "Other News" be from the wannabe genius 'engineer' who feels so insecure about himself that he chooses to troll Police blogs because he knows deep down he'd never have the bollocks to say anything derogatory or insulting to their face?


20 July, 2009 09:45

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pathetic @ 09:45 is certainly correct in one respect. I have no wish to be shot, subjected to any physical abuse or torture. I have seen many videos of citizens who were attacked from behind, hit with shields and batons, repeatedly tasered on the ground, sat on by up to six burly policemen, hancuffed whilst their faces were scrubbed on concrete and subject to gross abuse. These were citizens who were doing nothing more than speak the truth or participate in lawful protest.

I also read those disturbingly regular reports of violence and sexual abuse, within the confines of vans and police cells.

Will Pathetic's own courage extend to informing us, (in that quaint vernacular please), exactly what happens to people who say anything derogatory or insulting to police?

20 July, 2009 14:52

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pathetic might not wish to say what happens to people who make derogatory comments about the police. However, as a whistleblower who has spoken up about an element within the force, who abused their power and position, I was threatened, intimidated, undermined by smears and plotted against.
Not a pleasant experience.

23 July, 2009 02:58

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes Pathetic, you certainly are.

23 July, 2009 07:00


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