A lot of you haven't read the book. This might be because you are a bloke, and didn't want to be seen on the bus with it. Or it might be because you are a girl, and didn't want to be seen on the bus with it. Or maybe you just don't take the bus, and you can't drive and read at the same time. If so, I am not responsible for these failings.
Either way, I do recommend it. And not just because I wrote it, and happen to think it's a good read. I recommend it because the more people know what it's like to be a police officer in the twenty-first century, the harder they'll lobby to get things changed. The more they know, the more they will understand why the guy who was identified breaking into their shed last week is still driving around without a shadow of a fear of a thought of retribution. The more people know about my job, the easier my job will be when I turn up in bemused response to their call and fail to do anything close to what they had hoped.
I also recommend it because it's funny, and a bit saucy (only a bit, sorry). It's written as a novel, so you might not be aware you're reading non-fiction. No doubt this will make it easy for my bosses to dismiss it.
Over the next few weeks, I'll be posting some excerpts from the book, so you can make up your own mind if it's worth the £7.99 or less (not even an hour of overtime, people).
If you think it's all about the dosh, so far I haven't spent any of my takings on myself. Some has gone to the Police Roll of Honour Trust, which commemorates police officers who have died in the line of duty (no, it's not the one funded by the annoying guy off the TV, but similar). Some has gone to Rape Crisis, which provides information and support for rape victims. The rest will be donated to either one of these charities over the next year or so. I can't promise I'll always donate my proceeds to these charities, or to any - that will have to depend on my circumstances (and how much I make!). But I'll let my readers know if anything changes, so you know what you're paying for.
You can follow updates on the book, and others by the same publisher, at the Monday Books blog.
NB Apologies for the lack of irony in this post, and to those of you who clicked on the "annoying guy" link above and weren't prepared.
'Diary of an On-Call Girl' is available in all good bookstores and online.