This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Beach Front

It's official. There is No Problem.

According to an online poll *, a staggering 36% of people are happy with the service they are receiving from the police.** This massive percentage is a boon to many forces in the wake of the numerous disasters of the annual Police Performance Assessments, which saw some forces sliding down the table from nearly top to nearly bottom.

Since you asked, Blandshire has done fine thank you very much. And anyway it's not our fault.

The government is responding to the pleas of floundering forces by cutting their budgets for the next few years. Thank goodness.

As for me, I'm off to the beach for a dirty weekend. Which means that for the first time in the history of this blog, it will neither be updated or checked for five days. Roll on, my anonymous friends.

---------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.

* Actual percentage may vary by the minute.
** Warning: statistics can be misleading and pointless.

28 Comments:

Blogger alanorei said...

PC Bloggs said:

As for me, I'm off to the beach for a dirty weekend. Which means that for the first time in the history of this blog, it will neither be updated or checked for five days.

I guess this is o'seas. If so, Bon voyage and safe return.

The general consensus appears to be that both you and your blog are irreplaceable.

Whatever your destination, I trust that nothing insurmountable is encountered w.r.t. the local cuisine, the local law enforcement, the local amenities (if surfing, stay clear of jet skis), the local accommodation (hope it's not next to the local airport) and the locals (have never forgotten being ripped off by a Greek taxi-driver in Athens in 1996).

Trust your fellow tourists aren't a problem either. Certain nationalities, i.e. ours, have established something of a reputation on vacation.

If it's not o'seas, possibly most of the above still applies.

16 October, 2007 19:22

 
Blogger Roses said...

So what about the staggering 64% who weren't happy?

Enjoy your dirty weekend. You've earnt it.

16 October, 2007 20:47

 
Anonymous André said...

Enjoy.

16 October, 2007 22:48

 
Blogger Minty said...

Top behaviour Ms Bloggs. Enjoy, and be sure to have a few glasses of vino. Is fruit based, so in my mind that makes it a positive health elixir!

16 October, 2007 23:46

 
Blogger hobbybobby said...

"The government is responding to the pleas of floundering forces by cutting their budgets for the next few years."

If you're rubbish at your job, you obviously aren't learning so we'll cut your budget to teach you a lesson. Yep, that'll teach 'em!

They're also cutting the budgets of forces that are doing a good job as well, though. If there's less crime in the force area, there's obviously less things to spend money on, so have a budget cut, a pat on the back and, "Keep up the good work!"

You couldn't make it up.

17 October, 2007 01:47

 
Anonymous LetsbeAvenue said...

Are you going with Will?

How will Blandshire Constabulary cope with the loss of two crime fighters/administrators from the same shift?

Have a good time and I look foward to reading all about it on your return.

17 October, 2007 11:06

 
Blogger Area Trace No Search said...

We had a budget...!?

17 October, 2007 13:13

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ATNS,
Yes, the 'budget' is a mystical creature seen only by those in the CID. You need to be specially trained to get a sight of the beast apparentely. Meerly dealing daily with the public, fighting with drunks, stopping people killing and smashing each others heads in and taking almost constant abuse isn't good enough to be allowed sight of it.

17 October, 2007 13:35

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Budget has been cut because the money is being used to recruit and train para-militaries to replace the honest PC when they resign in protest at upcoming developments.

Difficult to believe?

Read this link, then read the blog

This is coming, and you guys are on the front line

At some point you will have to decide........

17 October, 2007 20:48

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From another source.
The UK Government is working on plan for ‘marking’ people attending demonstrations or protest marches using the latest in RFID technology.

I have been made aware by a political source in Brussels that as European and Government legislation becomes ever more intrusive and control orientated, by deliberate intent as Common Purpose make their true intent known (Communist Party) it is expected that the frequency and intensity of demonstrations and even civil action may become more widespread across Europe.

Police forces in the UK have already been training for mass civil disobedience and now anti demonstrator planners across Europe intend to use miniature RFID chips in a ‘cloud’ to be dropped from rooftops or helicopter to ‘mark’ those in attendance in anti government marches and demonstrations.

The RFID chips are so small that they would get into the hair and clothing, and possibly be breathed in by every individual present and would be virtually impossible to remove. (have you ever tried to get rid of party glitter).

Police would then set up check points with RFID scanners in a perimeter around the venue, as well as railway stations and bus stops, allowing them to identify those who attended up to weeks afterwards.
The latest version of RFID chips are smaller than a grain of sand, only measuring 0.05 x 0.05 mm, and come with a 128-bit memory capable of storing an identification number of up to 38 digits. Using the ID number on the chips, Police would be able to identify which demonstration people attended , or even whether they had attended more than one demonstration.


Further details

That's where the money is going.

The EU, your government, is anticipating, and preparing for mass unrest.

Your leaders in the Police Force are mostly Common Purpose trained.

You decide.

17 October, 2007 21:14

 
Blogger Metcountymounty said...

have a good few days off mate :o)

18 October, 2007 10:25

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon 21.14
Go and have a lie down you'll feel much better afterwards
A passive RFID chip has to be within a maximum of 4" of the scanner to be picked up, why do you think Oyster cards have to be touched to the pad.
In order to detect one about someone's person the copper would have to stop the suspect in the street and run a scanner all over their body, I think even the dumbest of protestors might wonder why and start complaining about the racist|sexist|fascist pigs (insert insult of choice)
overstepping their authority.
As for lasting for weeks presumably you don't wash your clothes or shower for long periods of time so it might not occur to you that being made of plastic with a bit of silicon thrown in they'll break down not to mention get washed down plugholes.
If the cops want to know who someone is at a demo there's a far effective way it's called grabbing them and asking them who they are.

18 October, 2007 15:49

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon 15:49
You clearly can't read.
Try again mate.

18 October, 2007 15:55

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paranoid Anon
OK fair enough I've read it again, Sorry stil conspiracy theory garbage. Setting aside for a moment the fact that such a system wouldn't actually work which I personally would consider a showstopper and by my personal experience the additional fact that the average bobby is the kiss of death to anything more high tech than a flashlight.
I'm interested in your political source in Brussels, this patriotic soul has chosen you an anonymous individual posting to the blogs of an ordinary policewoman (funny though she is) to break this news. Why isn't this story plastered over the front pages of the Daily Express and the Daily Mail both good sound rabid anti-Brussels rags.

18 October, 2007 20:47

 
Anonymous Sue said...

off to the beach huh!!!!!! are you sure your not off to watch 30 steaming sweaty dirty men play with an odd shaped ball in France!!!!!!!!

19 October, 2007 08:42

 
Anonymous pcR said...

Bloggsy
Don't blow all your publishing advance on candy-floss. Put some away for the sell-out move to Canada.

19 October, 2007 14:04

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha ha pcr
is someone a little green eyed...
enjoy your break bloggsy and hurry back
:-)

19 October, 2007 17:30

 
Blogger cogidubnus said...

"As for me, I'm off to the beach for a dirty weekend. Which means that for the first time in the history of this blog, it will neither be updated or checked for five days."

Good for you...have a great break!

20 October, 2007 03:21

 
Anonymous Inspector Gadget said...

I don't understand..... whay can't she go to a clean beach? or am I missing something? as for ID chips or whatever.... do yourself a favour; we can't even get enough patrol cars on the road for a Saturday night, let alone chip and read everyone at checkpoints!

20 October, 2007 13:51

 
Anonymous Stan said...

Man, she dirty, has cuffs and wears a uniform. Think shes my ideal woman. Let me visit you PC Bloggs!

21 October, 2007 00:42

 
Blogger PC Bloggs said...

PCR: "advance"?? Oh yes, should have asked for one of them...

Anyway I'm back, will post when I've recovered.

21 October, 2007 16:26

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon.
18 October, 2007 20:47
A coherent case can be presented.
It would be O/T.
It would require consent from landlord.
It would require considerable attention span.
It would require decent background knowledge.

Over to you, gracious Landlord.

I'll check back later.

21 October, 2007 17:25

 
Blogger totallyun-pc said...

how did a blogg about how many people like us get onto micro chips!? I Love chips....mmmmmmmm did you eat them at the seaside bloggsy... incidentalyy... my post is on the dreaded QCB... is that where the 36% figure came from?

21 October, 2007 23:25

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

micro chips dropped by helo? what? why would we care what demo who attended?

as an aside I always thought a paintball gun with smart water pellets would be great to mark targets in a crowd for later collection!

22 October, 2007 20:13

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Land lady you should read this

22 October, 2007 20:35

 
Blogger 成人 said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 美女交友,

嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,
ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片,

愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,

03 April, 2009 20:36

 
Blogger look said...

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

14 April, 2009 17:02

 
Blogger liwo said...

爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性, 做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇,

免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真,

15 April, 2009 09:31

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

 

View My Stats
eXTReMe Tracker