This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.


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Sunday, April 29, 2007

NCRS'd to death...

Some of my readers may be thinking that I missed the fact that Administrative Detections no longer count as "real" Detections. For the linkily-inept reader, an Administrative Detection is where no one has been brought to justice, but we prove who did it anyway and claim a performance figure for it.

Readers will be relieved to hear that the demise of the Admin Detection has not had the slightest effect on my workload. For starters, I did not get any credit for these before the new rule and that did not stop the Crime Centre from trying to wring them out of me nonetheless. I fully expect that quite rightly we will still be encouraged to achieve these Administrative numbers in preference to filing investigations without any kind of Detection at all. After all, reducing crime cannot be more important than increasing the amount of SOLVED crime.

However, I do think it is a little bit unfair that the Admin Detection has been taken from us in Blandmore and replaced with the far less efficient-sounding "Undetected Detection"* (which is exactly the same). Just think, this was a perfect opportunity for Blandshire to carry out a coup and name it the "Victorious Detection" or the "Keeping You Safe Detection", which would have worked wonders in the local community.


Fortunately Blandshire have not taken away all our fun. Despite now only being able to claim credit for detecting crimes that have actually happened, we received a booklet this week explaining that this should in no way restrict our ability to RECORD crimes, whether they have actually happened or not.

It's all good for our integrity, so I'm not complaining.

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Copyright of PC Bloggs.
* I have changed the name of this new Detection, for fear of publicly embarrassing my force.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found your blog only recently, but it's become a daily fix. What now worries me (duly apprised of the lunatic regime under which you work) is just how I should react if, on my next visit to UK, I'm faced with a British bobby?

29 April, 2007 22:04

 
Blogger Sergeant Simon said...

Heh Bloggs you're dumbing down! You're having to point out your sarcasm for those of us who don't get it the first time! Heh. Undetected Detection. I like that.

30 April, 2007 01:46

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lis, just point and laugh like everyone else does

30 April, 2007 19:34

 
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15 April, 2009 12:11

 

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