This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


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Thursday, April 05, 2007

The Budget

The police take a lot of bashing in this country, but rarely do we hear people singing our praises. I would therefore like to talk about one of the things we do really well: economising. As the good Brits that we are, we take the view that if something ain't broke, don't fix it - and if it is broke, don't fix it. The amount of time and money saved by this approach is immense.

The same theory applies not just to the vending machines in our stations and the doors to our kit-lockers, but to police cars, computers and systems of policing. The result is a Can-Do attitude in our staff such that where a normal person might say, "That chair is not safe to sit on", we will just go right on ahead and sit on it anyway (after all if it is sent away for repair we will have no chair at all).

The reason for our inbred economy is of course obvious: World War Two. To be honest, most of the things that make Britons great can be put down to WW2.

It just goes to show that the British have a deeper understanding of budgeting than other nations. Whereas Germany and America splash out on top-of-the-range kit which will save time and money in the long run, the British understand that there is no point buying expensive systems and equipment such as air-conditioning, because within a year another Superintendent will replace the one who bought it in the first place and will introduce his own money-saving idea. It is far better for these Superintendents to keep away from the budget and let loose their hare-brained schemes in a field where no one cares how much damage they do... such as frontline policing.

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Copyright of PC Bloggs.

11 Comments:

Anonymous Lorenzo said...

I think your blog is one of the best and most well written and always enjoy reading it even though my ribs ache all day. Unfortunately for me I am not intelligent or knowledgeable enough about policing to make good relevant comments and am quite disappointed more people don't comment either. Come on readers more comments please.

05 April, 2007 21:43

 
Blogger blueknight said...

Our tech services used to create video stills by photographing the TV screen with an old kodak.

06 April, 2007 02:04

 
Blogger Scots said...

Sounds like police and education bosses go to the same budget crazy school to learn their nonsense! My boss in a previous school wanted to save money and decided we were burning too much electricity - as if kids need lights on to see their work! ... anyway she had light movement sensors introduced into all classrooms. If there was no movement in class after 5 minutes the lights automatically switched off! GREAT thinking - in my class there was lots of work and not a lot of movement ... I had to appoint class members as "light monitors" so that when we were plunged into darkness they waved their arms in the air to get them back on again .... what a waste of money, time and effort!

06 April, 2007 13:32

 
Blogger Scots said...

hahaha too busy ranting ..... forgot to say . love the blog btw :o)

06 April, 2007 13:33

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

please keep it up your blog is very good.
john

06 April, 2007 15:43

 
Blogger Dinoplod said...

Great post Pc Bloggs.

06 April, 2007 21:15

 
Anonymous PC Bitseach said...

You forgot to mention that for each and every sh1t3-squared idea that a "Super" has, s/he is likely to hit the "resilience" ticky-box in his/her PDR/PDP (portfolio thingy - ANOTHER gigantic waste-of-my-life) under the title of making unpopular decisions.

Wish I could tick that particular box a bit easier for my next CROWBAR application (the new promotion process) but unfortunately so far all my decisions have been respectful of my colleague officers and PCSOs and have ended up being fairly consensual and implemented without bother to me or them.

How the hell am I supposed to get promoted if I can't even make unpopular or idiotic decisions???!!
[sheesh]

06 April, 2007 21:16

 
Anonymous Mark said...

Bloggs,

Some of the funniest writing I have the pleasure to read. Made all the better by the fact that I am serving bobby so I generally see the absurdity you are targeting (sp?). Keep it up Bloggs, you make me smile on a daily basis (and not even the sight of me in the mirror post-shower does that).

09 April, 2007 07:46

 
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