This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


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Friday, March 16, 2007

When will we get mobile Guantanamos?

I can't find it on the net yet, but apparently the government are introducing plans for mobile detention centres for shoplifters on high streets. Police will be able to detain shoplifters for up to four hours. These are apparently needed as so many police custodies have closed in recent years due to budget cuts.

The law currently allows for short-term prisoners to be detained for up to six hours in a "non-designated" police station (one without proper cell facilities). Now you see the true genius of the scheme, which will allow for detention up to FOUR hours.

For some background, Blandshire Constabulary is one of many forces which has identified that there is no need to have numerous police stations where one sergeant is responsible for 10 prisoners, when you can just have a few "super-custodies" where two sergeants can be responsible for 20 prisoners. The maths cannot be faulted. You will find some officers complaining about having to drive for over an hour to reach the custody suites, only to drive an hour back to take witness statements, before repeating the journey to interview the prisoner. These officers just do not grasp the complexities of Twenty-First Century economics.

As you can see, the new detention centres will fulfill one of the vital criteria of modern policing: Force police forces to cut important services to save money, then introduce legislation which reinstates the services they just got rid of.

When you weigh up the importance of such a scheme, this kind of thing pales into insignificance, doesn't it?

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Copyright of PC Bloggs.
PS
Here's something that really does deserve government interference.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought the more a person read the better they got at reading but I find reading your currently allows link and many other of your now famous links, I rapidly lose the ability to read and I have to make regular trips the the comics section at my local paper shop to recover my skills. I think the World Famous Blandmore Blog should have a warning clause.

Volunteer Optician

16 March, 2007 00:50

 
Blogger blueknight said...

All very well locking them up in the shopping mall but eventully they will need to go to custody to be charged etc, unless a computer, livescan and all the facilities are laid on at the temporary custody suite.
A couple of custody stories stories to cheer you up, all pre-pace.
A group of football fans went on a trail of destruction in the early hours of the morning. The whole station turned out including the Sgt, who ended up arresting one of the miscreants. It was a small Police Station and in those days the Sgt was the Station Sgt the Custody Sgt and the Patrol Sgt. He had to ask himself why the male had been arrested before he was able to accept the prisoner. The Sgt obviously took it seriously because he stood behind the desk to ask himself the question then walked around to the front of the desk to answer it.
The scene was an Army camp and the PC was called to deal with some 'youths' who had been detained for breaking windows in a disused building and were locked up in the guardroom cells. PC takes some basic details and discovers that the youths had been in custody for a good couple of hours before the Old Bill were notified. PC stops for a chat and a tea but decline the offer to 'bring any sh*ts into us and we'll lock them up for you, no questions asked.
Dc comes into custody with a wanted male. Custody Sgt asks the DC 'What was the time of the arrest?
Reply '9.15'
Sgt,'What,in the morning'
Reply.'Yes,why?'
Sgt 'It's 5.30 pm now. Where's he been for eight hours?
Reply. 'Working on my allotment. I paid him so its all OK!'
Bring back practical Policing

16 March, 2007 02:19

 
Anonymous extraspecialcopper said...

Easier solution - dont arrest people. What happens should "Tesco" shut and forget it has people in its cells?

16 March, 2007 11:21

 
Blogger totallyun-pc said...

Does that mean they will need more custody sergeants?

do you here that noise? thats me running for the door.........aaaaaarrrrgggghhhhh!

16 March, 2007 14:01

 
Blogger staghounds said...

All mobiles should be detained. I'm tired of them ringing all over the place, Guantanamo is not far enough away.

17 March, 2007 04:13

 
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