Part One of My Judge's Guide:

There has been some criticism on fellow blogs lately about the reduction in sentence of some rather unpleasant chappies. It is apparent that the nation's top judges need a little help in coming out with sensible prison terms and/or orders. Before you click on the last link, it goes to a large pdf file containing rules for sentencing, so make a cup of tea (or don't bother click - I wouldn't).

To simplify the system, I have therefore come up with the Bloggs' Infallible Tips for Sentencers. When faced with a case of local or national importance, I urge Crown and High Court judges to take note of my BITS:

1. First, think of a number between 1 and 100. Any number will do.
   
2. Write down your eldest child or sibling's date of birth.
3. Add up all the digits in the date of birth.
4. Convert to Fahrenheit.
5. Multiply by the house number of the house you grew up in.
6. Divide by the number of letters in your mother's middle name.
7. Take away the number you first thought of.
8. Put the word "weeks" after the answer.

Now wasn't that simple?

Or you could just try this.

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