This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.


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Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Part One of My Judge's Guide:

There has been some criticism on fellow blogs lately about the reduction in sentence of some rather unpleasant chappies. It is apparent that the nation's top judges need a little help in coming out with sensible prison terms and/or orders. Before you click on the last link, it goes to a large pdf file containing rules for sentencing, so make a cup of tea (or don't bother click - I wouldn't).

To simplify the system, I have therefore come up with the Bloggs' Infallible Tips for Sentencers. When faced with a case of local or national importance, I urge Crown and High Court judges to take note of my BITS:
  1. First, think of a number between 1 and 100. Any number will do.
  2. Write down your eldest child or sibling's date of birth.
  3. Add up all the digits in the date of birth.
  4. Convert to Fahrenheit.
  5. Multiply by the house number of the house you grew up in.
  6. Divide by the number of letters in your mother's middle name.
  7. Take away the number you first thought of.
  8. Put the word "weeks" after the answer.
Now wasn't that simple?

Or you could just try this.

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Copyright of PC Bloggs.

10 Comments:

Blogger hobbybobby said...

Crikey, that's one hell of a sentence... I wonder if he gets time off for good behaviour?

I like your BITS, by the way... ;)

07 March, 2007 00:11

 
Blogger staghounds said...

We know about your Terrific Investigatve Tips, what are your BITS?

07 March, 2007 03:00

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...yes but with an automatic 50% reduction in sentence for his guilty plea he'll be out in 250 years...oh!

07 March, 2007 14:34

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All men are rapist

Hi Bloggsie.

Have you been following this case?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/low/england/hampshire/6427919.stm

07 March, 2007 16:54

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Staghound, I dont want to know what they are i want to see them........


used in court cases as i think they would provide a better system than we have now. (well what did you think i meant.)

07 March, 2007 21:40

 
Blogger staghounds said...

Bench Instruction Techniques In Sentencing?

07 March, 2007 22:47

 
Blogger PC Bloggs said...

staghounds, the clue is in my post...

07 March, 2007 22:57

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But isnt the point that the judges have to apply the sentencing guidelines that are written by the sentencing guidelines council, under direction of the government - so its nothing to do with judges at all...

07 March, 2007 23:28

 
Blogger staghounds said...

I hang my head in shame.

13 March, 2007 18:55

 
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