This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

I Panicked

I have decided that next time I receive a file back in the internal mail with the inscription: "This is not sufficient, please carry out the following extra enquiries...", I will simply respond with the words, "I am sorry to inform you that PC Bloggs is unable to carry out your request as she died in a paperwork explosion two weeks ago."

It almost worked for a woman caught speeding. Somehow, however, the system found out that she was alive and she has been given a sentence befitting someone who is dead.

This story led me to wonder how many people have gotten out of court cases that way? I for one do not think I would know if someone I arrested last year had died before the case, and would be likely to take it on the word of a black-clad widow at the front counter. Indeed, I am often surprised at how many offenders, victims and police officers are actually still alive by the day of trial. By the same token, I have ruthlessly prosecuted a couple of unfortunate drunks despite their genuine and unpremeditated deaths.

But enough about such paltry matters, what you are all longing to know is: yes, if the offender dies before charge, you can claim a Detection on the grounds that he is unlikely to deny it in court.

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Copyright of PC Bloggs.

9 Comments:

Blogger Noddy said...

I saw this too and thought the comment that she had been 'driving for years' needed a little further investigation.

06 March, 2007 11:07

 
Anonymous ted said...

"In mitigation, Catherine Richards said Askew had "been driving on and off for many years without incident.""

Does that mean driving on a provisional licence without supervision for many years? Mitigation?

"Judge Michael Burr said usually an immediate custodial sentence was warranted but he said he saw "little purpose" in jailing her."

To discourage others from attempting to pervert the course of justice perhaps?

06 March, 2007 17:08

 
Anonymous Custody skipper said...

I still want to know what she got for the speeding.

06 March, 2007 17:19

 
Blogger Joe90 said...

I once fell off a table whilst trying to reach a box of crime reports.

Can I claim compensation?

06 March, 2007 17:44

 
Blogger blueknight said...

Our property clerk died and a new one was appointed. A week or two later we began receiving messages from beyond the grave, enquiries from the deceased clerk asking what is happening with this property? Or so we thought. It turned out that the old clerk had made a box of proforma enq forms and the new clerk decided to use them. For a while we wondered where to send the replies

06 March, 2007 18:39

 
Anonymous pc pc said...

custody skip, she got a suspended sentence. says it all reall.y

06 March, 2007 20:53

 
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