This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.


(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Lack of Postage

I may not be posting much this week. I have been struck down by a bout of Olympic flu, the symptoms of which are as follows:
  1. Taking up a new sport which no one has ever heard of, such as rhythmic gymnastics, or handball.
  2. Singing along to the national anthem with tears in my eyes during the one medal ceremony where Britain has won a gold.
  3. The feeling that I will have achieved nothing with my life if I do not win a medal at London 2012.
As I worked the weekend in Blandmore, I was proud to see the locals honouring our sporting prowess in Beijing. Instead of getting plastered, losing all their money and sitting at my boots imploring me for a lift home, they have been getting plastered, losing all their money, sitting at my boots imploring me for a lift home AND deploring my lack of patriotism when I refuse.

In case you are wondering, the sport I will be taking up to win my 2012 medal is beach volleyball. I'm not too great at volleyball, but I'm hoping my strong interest in the beach will do.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Diary of an On-Call Girl' is available in some bookstores and online.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I worked the weekend too! Glad to see you're home just in time to post before the day is out.

To tell you the truth, it makes a change from "She sent me a mean text" though.

11 August, 2008 00:24

 
Blogger Paradise Driver said...

In beach volleyball, the skimpier the bikini the less need for skill in the game. Reading between the lines, I'd say your best choice would be the spider's web/dental floss thong. Well, i've seen that work really well in mixed doubles in Hawaii.

11 August, 2008 07:14

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Im always amazed at the number of people that try and flag a panda down at kicking out time.

"Oh, i thought you were a taxi.."

11 August, 2008 10:05

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least we are keeping up with Michael Phelps!

11 August, 2008 19:30

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At the London Olympics I will enter the lawn mowing race & the car cleaning competition.

11 August, 2008 20:04

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

After last friday night I have been entered for a new event for 2012; "putting the scrote". Current record, 7 metres (wind assisted). It wasn't you was it, gharlane?

12 August, 2008 20:47

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish I still had that email about Manchesters Commonwealth games itinery...
Fencing - selling as many stolen goods as possible in half an hour.
Hurdles - a video recorder under the arm and hedgehopping over fences with a police dog running after you.
The Olympic torch being lit by a ski mask clad chav from 300yds with a petrol bomb.
You can guess the rest!

12 August, 2008 21:35

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The best sport in 2012 will be called "making massive amounts of overtime" when the Met command mess up at the last minute and realise they don't have enough Level II officers. The the call will go out to the Shire. Kerching.

13 August, 2008 03:43

 
Blogger staghounds said...

I laughed one year when I saw that the Women's Beach Volleyball had the country's three letter designation in big letters on the top. So each Brazilian's bra was clearly marked

BRA

And I like to watch the rhythmic gymnastics, especially the hoop and ball. They should change the streamer for a brick, though.

14 August, 2008 02:12

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bloggs, I think the word you might be looking for wrt number 2 is "oops", given that Britain has, astonishingly, actually managed to do quite well this year, albeit mainly in all the fractionally different versions of cycling and sailing.

Wrt handball, 2012 is your chance, since as the hosts we get a team in as of right, despite being rubbish.

Oh, and please don't sing along to the national anthem - we already have far too much of the ghastly flag-waving. You'll be draping a Union Flag around your shoulders next...

23 August, 2008 20:31

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 美女交友,

嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,
ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片,

愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,

03 April, 2009 21:31

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性, 做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇,

免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真,

15 April, 2009 10:47

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

 

View My Stats
eXTReMe Tracker