This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.


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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Me and the Mob

It isn't often I get to arrest Real Criminals, like James J Bulger. In fact, I am not sure I have ever actually arrested a Real Criminal at all.

Real Criminals can be identified by the following signs:
  • They have attractive children at good schools.
  • They are polite and cooperative with the police.
  • You won't ever attend a "domestic" at their house. That's not because they don't have them.
  • They never "kick off" when arrested.
  • If an incident is reported involving them, front-line response officers like me won't even be told about it.
  • They always have an alibi.
  • If they are going to run, you'll need a passport, fake identity, hidden surveillance and a crack international squad to find them again.
  • They don't "threaten" people. If they're going to do it, there won't be a warning.
As you will have gathered, my day-to-day work has absolutely nothing to do with Real Criminals. I can safely say that I have never once disrupted their activities, and they have never once disrupted mine.

---------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I suspect, blogsy, you would prob. have to put yourself about a bit to get one of those.

24 October, 2007 18:44

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bloggsy - very true and accurate description of a "real villain".
I locked one up without realising what a big fish he was and had to bail him as he had an alibi...
He went on the run - went abroad, faked his identity, had pots of cash hidden everywhere...
Then came back and lived under a false identity on the other side of the same city.
Loads of digging later I tracked him down.
The look on his face when arrested was priceless...and like you say - he never kicked off...
I'm a front line, albeit Community Beat Officer ... there are real villains out there we can all get..
the Yorkshire Ripper was locked up by a response bobby!

24 October, 2007 21:47

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

" he disappeared shortly before being arrested".

HAAA???!!

So what did they arrest his scent? His socks? His favourite teddy bear?

Don't tell me, his Mother ran away before he was born as well?

Bundesmarine Polizei.

25 October, 2007 10:24

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The English language is....strange.

BMP.

25 October, 2007 10:27

 
Blogger Metcountymounty said...

I have had the pleasure of dealing with a proper criminal only once after a totally random traffic stop, the guy was wanted on warrant for multiple fraud jobs.

He played the game and saw everything as exactly that, it was his job to make as much money as he could with as little effort and it was our job to catch him when we could. He would plead guilty when he got charged and would throw in a couple of TIC's to chum up to the sentencing guidlines, serve a few months then would carry on.

You hear every now and then about good jobs with proper criminals like a random traffic stop revealing a boot full of automatic weapons or tens of kilos of uncut drugs, but on the whole, 99% of the people and jobs we deal with are shit.

25 October, 2007 11:55

 
Blogger Curbishly said...

Spot on.

Stopped an elderly BMW in Aldgate one evening and spoke to the driver about his lights not being on. Very polite gentleman apologised and we had a pleasant chat for a few minutes before he went on his way.

Put the car number into the collator(pre PNC) and CVI was too slow.

Got called in by the DCI to explain what I was doing stopping Charlie Kray when he was under surveillance.

25 October, 2007 13:21

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

""and had to bail him as he had an alibi""
Surely - an alleylie !

25 October, 2007 21:37

 
Blogger Minty said...

But just think of the number of Chav's days you have upset. THose neighbour disputes and love triangles you have played referee in. Now that must give you a warm glow....

25 October, 2007 23:02

 
Blogger malpas said...

Don't forget your political role enforcing hate crimes in the young and the reverends.
Generally persuing the middle class for being there.

30 October, 2007 05:35

 
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