Me and the Mob

It isn't often I get to arrest Real Criminals, like James J Bulger. In fact, I am not sure I have ever actually arrested a Real Criminal at all.

Real Criminals can be identified by the following signs:

• They have attractive children at good schools.
• They are polite and cooperative with the police.
• You won't ever attend a "domestic" at their house. That's not because they don't have them.
• They never "kick off" when arrested.
• If an incident is reported involving them, front-line response officers like me won't even be told about it.
• They always have an alibi.
• If they are going to run, you'll need a passport, fake identity, hidden surveillance and a crack international squad to find them again.
  
• They don't "threaten" people. If they're going to do it, there won't be a warning.
  

As you will have gathered, my day-to-day work has absolutely nothing to do with Real Criminals. I can safely say that I have never once disrupted their activities, and they have never once disrupted mine.

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