Beach Front
It's official. There is No Problem.
According to an online poll *, a staggering 36% of people are happy with the service they are receiving from the police.** This massive percentage is a boon to many forces in the wake of the numerous disasters of the annual Police Performance Assessments, which saw some forces sliding down the table from nearly top to nearly bottom.
Since you asked, Blandshire has done fine thank you very much. And anyway it's not our fault.
The government is responding to the pleas of floundering forces by cutting their budgets for the next few years. Thank goodness.
As for me, I'm off to the beach for a dirty weekend. Which means that for the first time in the history of this blog, it will neither be updated or checked for five days. Roll on, my anonymous friends.
---------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.
* Actual percentage may vary by the minute.
** Warning: statistics can be misleading and pointless.
According to an online poll *, a staggering 36% of people are happy with the service they are receiving from the police.** This massive percentage is a boon to many forces in the wake of the numerous disasters of the annual Police Performance Assessments, which saw some forces sliding down the table from nearly top to nearly bottom.
Since you asked, Blandshire has done fine thank you very much. And anyway it's not our fault.
The government is responding to the pleas of floundering forces by cutting their budgets for the next few years. Thank goodness.
As for me, I'm off to the beach for a dirty weekend. Which means that for the first time in the history of this blog, it will neither be updated or checked for five days. Roll on, my anonymous friends.
---------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.
* Actual percentage may vary by the minute.
** Warning: statistics can be misleading and pointless.
posted by PC Bloggs at 17:01
26 Comments:
PC Bloggs said:
As for me, I'm off to the beach for a dirty weekend. Which means that for the first time in the history of this blog, it will neither be updated or checked for five days.
I guess this is o'seas. If so, Bon voyage and safe return.
The general consensus appears to be that both you and your blog are irreplaceable.
Whatever your destination, I trust that nothing insurmountable is encountered w.r.t. the local cuisine, the local law enforcement, the local amenities (if surfing, stay clear of jet skis), the local accommodation (hope it's not next to the local airport) and the locals (have never forgotten being ripped off by a Greek taxi-driver in Athens in 1996).
Trust your fellow tourists aren't a problem either. Certain nationalities, i.e. ours, have established something of a reputation on vacation.
If it's not o'seas, possibly most of the above still applies.
16 October, 2007 19:22
So what about the staggering 64% who weren't happy?
Enjoy your dirty weekend. You've earnt it.
16 October, 2007 20:47
Top behaviour Ms Bloggs. Enjoy, and be sure to have a few glasses of vino. Is fruit based, so in my mind that makes it a positive health elixir!
16 October, 2007 23:46
"The government is responding to the pleas of floundering forces by cutting their budgets for the next few years."
If you're rubbish at your job, you obviously aren't learning so we'll cut your budget to teach you a lesson. Yep, that'll teach 'em!
They're also cutting the budgets of forces that are doing a good job as well, though. If there's less crime in the force area, there's obviously less things to spend money on, so have a budget cut, a pat on the back and, "Keep up the good work!"
You couldn't make it up.
17 October, 2007 01:47
Are you going with Will?
How will Blandshire Constabulary cope with the loss of two crime fighters/administrators from the same shift?
Have a good time and I look foward to reading all about it on your return.
17 October, 2007 11:06
We had a budget...!?
17 October, 2007 13:13
ATNS,
Yes, the 'budget' is a mystical creature seen only by those in the CID. You need to be specially trained to get a sight of the beast apparentely. Meerly dealing daily with the public, fighting with drunks, stopping people killing and smashing each others heads in and taking almost constant abuse isn't good enough to be allowed sight of it.
17 October, 2007 13:35
The Budget has been cut because the money is being used to recruit and train para-militaries to replace the honest PC when they resign in protest at upcoming developments.
Difficult to believe?
Read this link, then read the blog
This is coming, and you guys are on the front line
At some point you will have to decide........
17 October, 2007 20:48
From another source.
The UK Government is working on plan for ‘marking’ people attending demonstrations or protest marches using the latest in RFID technology.
I have been made aware by a political source in Brussels that as European and Government legislation becomes ever more intrusive and control orientated, by deliberate intent as Common Purpose make their true intent known (Communist Party) it is expected that the frequency and intensity of demonstrations and even civil action may become more widespread across Europe.
Police forces in the UK have already been training for mass civil disobedience and now anti demonstrator planners across Europe intend to use miniature RFID chips in a ‘cloud’ to be dropped from rooftops or helicopter to ‘mark’ those in attendance in anti government marches and demonstrations.
The RFID chips are so small that they would get into the hair and clothing, and possibly be breathed in by every individual present and would be virtually impossible to remove. (have you ever tried to get rid of party glitter).
Police would then set up check points with RFID scanners in a perimeter around the venue, as well as railway stations and bus stops, allowing them to identify those who attended up to weeks afterwards.
The latest version of RFID chips are smaller than a grain of sand, only measuring 0.05 x 0.05 mm, and come with a 128-bit memory capable of storing an identification number of up to 38 digits. Using the ID number on the chips, Police would be able to identify which demonstration people attended , or even whether they had attended more than one demonstration.
Further details
That's where the money is going.
The EU, your government, is anticipating, and preparing for mass unrest.
Your leaders in the Police Force are mostly Common Purpose trained.
You decide.
17 October, 2007 21:14
have a good few days off mate :o)
18 October, 2007 10:25
Anon 21.14
Go and have a lie down you'll feel much better afterwards
A passive RFID chip has to be within a maximum of 4" of the scanner to be picked up, why do you think Oyster cards have to be touched to the pad.
In order to detect one about someone's person the copper would have to stop the suspect in the street and run a scanner all over their body, I think even the dumbest of protestors might wonder why and start complaining about the racist|sexist|fascist pigs (insert insult of choice)
overstepping their authority.
As for lasting for weeks presumably you don't wash your clothes or shower for long periods of time so it might not occur to you that being made of plastic with a bit of silicon thrown in they'll break down not to mention get washed down plugholes.
If the cops want to know who someone is at a demo there's a far effective way it's called grabbing them and asking them who they are.
18 October, 2007 15:49
Anon 15:49
You clearly can't read.
Try again mate.
18 October, 2007 15:55
Paranoid Anon
OK fair enough I've read it again, Sorry stil conspiracy theory garbage. Setting aside for a moment the fact that such a system wouldn't actually work which I personally would consider a showstopper and by my personal experience the additional fact that the average bobby is the kiss of death to anything more high tech than a flashlight.
I'm interested in your political source in Brussels, this patriotic soul has chosen you an anonymous individual posting to the blogs of an ordinary policewoman (funny though she is) to break this news. Why isn't this story plastered over the front pages of the Daily Express and the Daily Mail both good sound rabid anti-Brussels rags.
18 October, 2007 20:47
off to the beach huh!!!!!! are you sure your not off to watch 30 steaming sweaty dirty men play with an odd shaped ball in France!!!!!!!!
19 October, 2007 08:42
Bloggsy
Don't blow all your publishing advance on candy-floss. Put some away for the sell-out move to Canada.
19 October, 2007 14:04
ha ha pcr
is someone a little green eyed...
enjoy your break bloggsy and hurry back
:-)
19 October, 2007 17:30
"As for me, I'm off to the beach for a dirty weekend. Which means that for the first time in the history of this blog, it will neither be updated or checked for five days."
Good for you...have a great break!
20 October, 2007 03:21
I don't understand..... whay can't she go to a clean beach? or am I missing something? as for ID chips or whatever.... do yourself a favour; we can't even get enough patrol cars on the road for a Saturday night, let alone chip and read everyone at checkpoints!
20 October, 2007 13:51
Man, she dirty, has cuffs and wears a uniform. Think shes my ideal woman. Let me visit you PC Bloggs!
21 October, 2007 00:42
PCR: "advance"?? Oh yes, should have asked for one of them...
Anyway I'm back, will post when I've recovered.
21 October, 2007 16:26
Anon.
18 October, 2007 20:47
A coherent case can be presented.
It would be O/T.
It would require consent from landlord.
It would require considerable attention span.
It would require decent background knowledge.
Over to you, gracious Landlord.
I'll check back later.
21 October, 2007 17:25
how did a blogg about how many people like us get onto micro chips!? I Love chips....mmmmmmmm did you eat them at the seaside bloggsy... incidentalyy... my post is on the dreaded QCB... is that where the 36% figure came from?
21 October, 2007 23:25
micro chips dropped by helo? what? why would we care what demo who attended?
as an aside I always thought a paintball gun with smart water pellets would be great to mark targets in a crowd for later collection!
22 October, 2007 20:13
Dear Land lady you should read this
22 October, 2007 20:35
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