This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


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Monday, September 10, 2007

The Lonely Nights of an ASBO-Receiver.

At last, some sense from a senior police officer on the matter of ASBOs.

No, not that old chestnut about kids wearing them as a badge of honour. Nor the boring trite that they don't work anyway and prison sentences are pitiful.

No, today it is revealed that Chief Superintendent Neil Wain believes ASBOs fail because "offenders... are given little support to stop them offending". The fact that most ASBOs are breached is apparently evidence of the fact that they aren't working. This is news to me, as I had foolishly thought that most ASBOs would naturally be breached and that the point of them was to provide a hefty five year prison sentence for persistent offenders, where otherwise they would just be charged with minor criminal damages and public order. Being a girl, I guess I misunderstood.

Now that a senior police officer has given some guidance, I will of course be introducing some support systems for the local yobs in Blandmore currently operating under ASBO conditions. The support will follow the E E Bloggs model of hoodie-hugging:
  • A stern lecture.
  • Finger-wagging.
  • Afternoon tea at Bloggsy's.
  • Visiting graffiti'd walls for mourning sessions.
  • A really stern lecture accompanied by a frown.
If that doesn't work, well I just don't know WHAT to suggest.

Interestingly, Ch Supt Wain's views are expounded in his new book, which I believe hit the shelves back in June 2007 and was variously described by tabloid newspapers in no way. Also interestingly, Ch Supt Wain's entry on his Divisional Home Page promises to do "everything in [his] power to tackle nuisance behaviour". Everything, I take it, apart from ASBOs.

(Note to self: check back issues of blog for hypocrisy.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.

18 Comments:

Anonymous Vic said...

The fact Chf Supt Wain has written the book as part of his masters degree in criminology lessens the impact. You don't get a masters degree for singing from the same song sheet as everyone else. You get it for writing your own music.

As regards alternatives to ASBOs - how about Boot Camp? 5am start, drill, fitness training, assault course. 8pm bed. Yea.

10 September, 2007 21:57

 
Anonymous Twining said...

National Service Bloggs. Could that be the answer? Hmmm, where have I heard that one before? Is Mr Wain Cameron in disguise?

11 September, 2007 11:57

 
Blogger Noggsy said...

Assault course? Don't want the little cluckers getting any better at it.

Bloggsy, superb book which got even funnier towards the end. There is no end in sight to the lunacy is there? Yet still we keep plodding on.

Of well, beats being a shiny-arse.

11 September, 2007 11:59

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is he after a job as an ACC or something.

11 September, 2007 14:28

 
Anonymous Jeffrey P said...

Vic suggests Boot Camp with "8pm bed"

But your suggested start time is 5am, Vic. Are you trying to spoil the blighters with too much sleep?

A real bootcamp would have you working until midnight, and still 5am start.

11 September, 2007 14:41

 
Blogger alanorei said...

As regards alternatives to ASBOs - how about Boot Camp? 5am start, drill, fitness training, assault course. 8pm (or 12 am) bed. Yea.

Bad lads' army. Then send them to Helmand. You never know, you might turn up a few more Andy McNabbs - he has been of some use to the realm.

(The National Service lads at the Imjin River, April 1951 and in the Malayan Emergemcy certainly did old Blighty proud.)

PC Bloggs said: "Being a girl, I guess I misunderstood."

That's sexist.

11 September, 2007 15:36

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We had a person on an ASBO who died from a drugs O/D. That worked. (true story)

11 September, 2007 16:38

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, the above comment was from me - Inspector Gadget.

11 September, 2007 16:39

 
Blogger alanorei said...

Somebody really needs to free up police time:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/
news/
topstories/2007/09/10/
police-too-busy-for-
crack-addicts-89520-19761863/

It is also to be hoped that the following "juveniles" get more than an ASBO.

From this site, which features a star letter in the Stockport Express about a parent encouraging a child to steal.

Tameside Ladies Take A Stand

http://regionalnews.bnp.org.uk/

The second incident actually involved the police, described as follows.

I was on the 216 bus coming home from Piccadilly and some juveniles were sitting upstairs behind me on the back seat.

One of the boys started smoking and I got annoyed so told him he wasn’t allowed to smoke on the bus and asked him to put it out.

10 mins. later he lit up again as I could smell the smoke, so I turned round and said ‘are you still smoking?’ to the same guy and he showed me empty hands. I turned back to read but couldn’t concentrate on my paper any more. Well, I decided to ignore them after that.

Then suddenly a curl of smoke was coming out of my shopping bag - one of them had thrown in a lighted cigarette and it was lucky I spotted it before it set fire to the newspaper in my bag. I confronted them and they just thought it was funny, so I said I was going to report them for it.

Went downstairs and told the bus driver to pull up at the Manchester Road Police Station, which he did and then he called the police. The police came and took the juveniles away (one was a girl) and I was asked to give a statement which I did.

It took two hours to do all this but it didn’t matter as I thought they shouldn’t be allowed to get away with what they did. They were arrested and put in cells downstairs.

Their parents would have had to come and get them out. The police woman told me that if I didn’t hear anything in a week or so they I could assume they’d gone before the magistrates and had either paid a fixed penalty or got let off with a warning.

If I do hear from the police then it will mean they’ve been charged and I might have to attend court. Either way I don’t mind because whatever happens to them they might have learned a lesson.

If I had let them away with it then they could have done it with someone else. I don’t think they’d dare smoke on buses again after this. But who knows.

Rosalind Gauci, Tameside

11 September, 2007 16:51

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Tameside lady must be very brave to have confronted a group of youths when she was by herself on the top deck of a bus. (In fact, she was lucky not to have been beaten or even knifed.)

I don't think the juveniles will be at all discouraged though.

11 September, 2007 18:05

 
Blogger Response Plod said...

I've often thought of recreating National Service but talking to a few mates in the armed forces they don't want them unless they are going to be used for clearing mine fields or for zeroing their weapons or more importantly for letting the enemy shoot them first!

It will do us all a favour.

11 September, 2007 18:05

 
Blogger alanorei said...

The stories just get more bizarre.

It seems that an ASBO was not even contemplated in the case, though some pubs were declared off limits, which I guess is not quite the same thing.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/
pages/live/articles/news/
news.html?in_article_id=481078&in_
page_id=1770&in_page_id=
1770&expand=true#StartComments

Only a handful of comments but they make interesting reading.

11 September, 2007 22:32

 
Anonymous Dray said...

Having lost a few teeth restraining an alcoholic, smack-head, ex-squaddie, who was desperately trying to stick his head up some poor woman's skirt....

National service? Brrrrr. Nope.

12 September, 2007 04:48

 
Anonymous Vic said...

Jeffrey.

After the day I would have planned for them, they'll need all the sleep they can get.

12 September, 2007 17:24

 
Blogger alanorei said...

Dray said...
Having lost a few teeth restraining an alcoholic, smack-head, ex-squaddie, who was desperately trying to stick his head up some poor woman's skirt....

National service? Brrrrr. Nope.

Quite realistic, actually, on reflection.

The excerpt below describes an episode in Australia's crime history that would have merited ASBOs all round, I reckon, although the Sydney police were forced to adopt sterner measures.

What the account also shows is that, then as now, criminals work the system to their advantage and the journos (journies in Australia, I believe) are always on hand to engage in the usual media feeding frenzy.

But it was a mob (5,000 strong) of Australian WW1 'Diggers' who started it all, by means of a mega-pub crawl that lasted 3 days and, I guess, nights. I think they were Australian Light Horse troopers, or mounted infantry, from the designation Australian Light Brigade.

Two gang leader women spectacularly managed to exploit the resulting upheaval. They'd have given Ma Barker and Bonnie Parker the proverbial run for their money.

http://www.abc.net.au/
dimensions/
dimensions_in_time/
Transcripts
/s485143.htm

In the Sherlock Holmes short story The Disappearance of
Lady Frances Carfax
, Conan Doyle says through his famous detective character, speaking of a particular Antipodean villain, "one of the most unscrupulous rascals that Australia has ever evolved - and for a young country it has turned out some very finished types."

Sir ACD clearly had both insight and, as the ABC site reveals, considerable foresight.

In the end, old age did for the ungodly characters featured rather than ASBOs, but it was a torrid business while it lasted.

Of course, as the site shows further, other criminals had already stepped up to keep the colonial law-breaking tradition going, diversifying into the burgeoning heroin traffic, as licensing laws were relaxed.

Australia still has a serious drink problem, apparently, i.e. still plenty of scope for ASBOs, there as here.

As the French say, evidently,

"Plus c'est la meme chose,
plus ça change"
which, I understand, translates as:

"The more things change, the more things stay the same"

12 September, 2007 18:18

 
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