This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.

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Thursday, September 30, 2010

Extreme Terminology

I was horrified to discover yesterday in briefing that a mob of crazed doctors are on the loose in the United Kingdom targeting any public or government location.  We have been reminded to be vigilant for signs of doctor-related activity and report it if we come across literature in people's houses suggesting that they might be sympathetic to doctors.

This extremist cult is more prevalent than I had realised. No sooner had I been given this information I came across signs of doctors everywhere. Even at a house search on Blandmore's Porle estate I tripped over a half-concealed stethoscope whilst looking for stolen mobile phones.

It is probably fortunate that, before I submitted the intelligence report, I glanced at an entry on the force intranet.  It turns out DRs are in fact Dissident Republicans, and nothing to do with the medical fraternity whatsoever.

However I have now become more perturbed at the possibility of a catastrophic homicide to be committed by VETs.

'Diary of an On-Call Girl' is available in some bookstores and online.


Anonymous Mark said...

I'm usually a great supporter of your blog and appreciate the tongue in cheek nature of many of the posts but just remember these DR's have been actively trying to kill your PSNI colleagues over recent years. I'm sure the family of Stephen Carroll would find your mocking of the DR threat upsetting.

I'm guessing you are a similar age to me and I remember the grip that the fear of Irish terrorism had prior to the emergence of Islamic groups. Growing up in London during the 80's & 90's was sometimes quite risky.

Years of delays on public transport, major bombs in London, Manchester and other tragedies such as Warrington. Hundreds of people were killed or seriously injured in the last cycle of Irish attacks on mainland GB. As myself and your PSNI colleagues are now seeing, Irish terrorism rotates through cycles, as one group fades another takes up the cause.

I hope things don't get worse but from where I stand GB could be in for an unpleasant time if they do get their act together. Remember, they only have to get lucky once!

30 September, 2010 14:27

Blogger PC Bloggs said...

Why should anyone be upset by someone mocking terrorists? Although the mockery was aimed more at the ludicrous acronyms we are expected to know without being told.

30 September, 2010 17:58

Anonymous DBRG said...

No PSNI/RUC/army personnel I know would ever find even the very blackest humour anything but laugh-yer-cock-off funny.

They don't take death lightly, but neither do they mope about moaning about it, either.

I thought it was pretty on the link in my username for some really bad taste army jokes if you like.

30 September, 2010 23:16

Anonymous Anonymous said...

DR confused the life out of me...
As for VET's, well I took my cat to see one pretty well practiced in Extortion today. The cat didn't enjoy it much either.
DBRG, I shall pass on your link to hubby, he loves poor taste army jokes... I don't understand half of them!

30 September, 2010 23:19

Anonymous Mac said...


Stop looking for a reason to be offended (are you a Daily Heil reader?). It's quite obvious that Bloggsy is making a harmless point about the way we use acronyms on the assumption everyone knows what they mean. I read the same briefing and had to work it out.

01 October, 2010 13:32

Anonymous painauchocolat said...

Speaking as a member of police staff (waits for booing and hissing to subside) I agree with Bloggsy here. The use of TLAs* everywhere is confusing an un-necessary. At the station I work in, the departments just have their initials (not full names on the doors). Doesn't really help at all.

There's also a part of me that suspects SOME people of using their knowledge of acronyms as a cheap physchological tool, so if you have to stop a meeting to ask exactly what XYZ is, they can look at you like a child while they explain it.

* Three-letter acronyms.

01 October, 2010 17:50

Blogger jrexgis said...

true..just stop looking for a reason to criticize your own side.. it would be alot better just to let things be.

Sell Luxury Watches

01 October, 2010 18:52

Anonymous Anonymous said...

re: Army linguistics:
Many blue moons ago, coming back from Aden on a York, Us squaddies were enjoying a chat and after we were cruising at 5,000 ft and engines stop their screeching and were now purring, the Lass that was going to feed us, got on the Tannoy and uttered " when you lads decide to speak in English, I will feed you"

01 October, 2010 21:23

Anonymous Anonymous said...


Mate - you can't say 'blackest humour' anywhere near us policepeople these days.

03 October, 2010 21:56

Anonymous Si said...

Inspector... do you have anythinjg worthwhile to contribute?

All you do these days is simper and complain a lot (as ever) and complain about your lack of overtime.

You admit on your blog to being non-confrontational with ASBO boys and basically keeping your head down. Done any proper police work lately?

03 October, 2010 23:59

Anonymous Business Servers said...

Well i think it's too difficult to decide about victim. How you do it?

04 October, 2010 12:58

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Inspectors do not get overtime. But don't let facts get in the way of a good trolling!

04 October, 2010 16:07

Anonymous NonRecordable said...

Proper police work?
Care to elaborate?
I would consider the following as proper police work:
Burglary, rape, murder, terrorism, child abuse, robbery, human trafficking..
Dealing with rowdy youths as the general public feel it is not their mutual responsibility to take action against them is towards the bottom of my list.
When action is taken against them, however, the Police will catch them and build the evidence and take them to court. They will be found guilty. The Police involvement stops there!!!! They will be given a community order and sent back out to the streets that they plague. The police did their bit, so don't take the easy route and blame the police for a rise in anti social behaviour, perhaps consider the courts or the MoJ that set their guidelines?

05 October, 2010 10:34

Anonymous NottsSarge said...

Perhaps TLAs keep the management safely at arm's length from reality...

You can imagine how UPOs (Uncooperative Police Officers) and LBCs (Local Bloody Councillors) may well stand in the way of MTP (My Third Pip) unless something can be sorted at TLM (Tonight's Lodge Meeting).

For me, they can FRO

05 October, 2010 14:02

Anonymous DBRG said...

Do pipe down. No-one tells you how to pimp your sister, so don't presume to tell the guv how to write his blog.
Yes, I've had a bad day.

05 October, 2010 17:53

Anonymous painauchocolat said...

@ NottsSarge:


07 October, 2010 20:51

Anonymous Ron Broxted said...

What is brown,crisp and flies at 200 mph? Heffrons leg. I have passed on number plates of unmarked PSNI/RUC/B Special vehicles in Belfast to interested parties. You dared to raise you hand against my people, you arm will be cut off.

23 October, 2010 19:35


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