This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

A Good Plan

The Chief Constable of Blandshire Constabulary is leading the way on matters of police pay. **

In general, pay is graded accorded to levels of service, so the newest police officers get paid the worst. To address this inherent unfairness, my Chief Constable plans to abolish pay for the newest police officers altogether. He will then cunningly compensate them by paying random sums of money into their accounts, which they will be unable to predict and may not even know they are receiving.


In other news: fears that Blair may have left behind two clones to spy on the new Prime Minister are compounded when Gordon Brown orders Jacqui Smith and Harriet Harman to be sure they are wearing different colour suits at all times, so he can tell the difference between them...














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'Diary of an On-Call Girl' is available in all good bookstores and online.

** He isn't really. It's an "analogy". Or something literary.

12 Comments:

Blogger uniform said...

Smith and Harman , stepford ministers or fembots ..

Smith has a majority of 2300 and will be gone at the next election .

Harman , failed x 4 minister with various portfolios since 1997 .

15 May, 2008 10:42

 
Anonymous Inspector Gadget said...

I met Harriet many years ago. She was a silly cow then and she hasn't changed.
Bloggs; where is my parcel then?

15 May, 2008 21:43

 
Anonymous HH said...

Ah..

But at least Gordon Brown, our qualified and elected leader, offspring of the clans of mad kilted rejects from a society that was once contained behind a wall stretching from coast to coast, follows more rules than certain gun toting cowboy types from the City.

Lets see, let me think, who agreed with ACPO that after each round is fired, there would be an assessment to establish if a threat still existed and if that threat needed a continuance of ammunition expenditure aimed at incapacitating the victim. Nothing about shooting to the head, and nothing about taking life.

16 May, 2008 17:08

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jes's ...
The latest political shenanigans has taught me one thing...
I won't worry about dropping another bolok in this job again.

These politicians are still in power after making cock up after cock up, squandering the nations wealth and lying and cheating the electorate ( and us re our pay rise). They were even prepared to shaft their own "working person" with the loss of the 10% tax band.

My only regret is that I joined a job denying me the right to take an active role in politics.

One million public sector workers are going to be balloted on industrial action this summer - if they strike it will impact on the public.
Over the summer the MPs will have almost a 3 months summer "recess" - they will not be missed.

Who deserves a pay rise and who deserves a pay cut?

16 May, 2008 22:12

 
Anonymous Sim said...

Sorry - I'm still laughing at unifroms first sentance..

Can you hear the back pedalling of Browns bicycle as I type?

17 May, 2008 08:21

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The difference between commerce and public service is that in commerce, it is not essential to have 'a good plan' for pay. Private employees content themselves with pay reflecting what they are worth in stark contrast to public servants above that measure.

18 May, 2008 12:36

 
Blogger blueknight said...

A pair of bookends ready to catch GB if he falls over. It looks as if he is delivering a speech. Harriet looks bored, but Jacqui looks angry. I wonder what he said.

19 May, 2008 00:46

 
Blogger Metcountymounty said...

just thought I'd let you know, the Mets webmarshal has stopped blocking your rather excellent site, so you are no longer blocked for inappropriate pornography.

Cos there was loads of it before........

19 May, 2008 09:32

 
Blogger PC Bloggs said...

metcountymounty - I apologise for the lack of police porn and will do my best to remedy the situation.

19 May, 2008 15:24

 
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