Damned if you do...

Two recent Blandmore circular emails:

1
To: Blandmore response officers
From: The Inspector Responsible for Caring About Stuff
Date: 26th February 2008
Subject: Search forms
Area Intelligence has drawn attention to the fact that search-forms are not being submitted in a timely manner to be logged on the system. This means that important information about local criminals being stopped and searched in high-crime areas is not appearing on the intelligence system for several days. This damages our ability to link criminals to crime patterns. From now on, ALL SEARCH FORMS must be put directly into the Intelligence-Collection letterbox without being seen by a sergeant. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

2
To: Blandmore response officers
From: The Inspector in Charge of Target-Achievement
Date: 26th February 2008
Subject: Search forms
At present there is no way to record the quantities of search-forms submitted by officers in a timely manner. This makes it hard for the area to reach its HQ-set targets in this area. There has also been an issue with the quality of the forms, not containing vital statistic-related information such as the size of the subject's shoes and their Zodiac signs. From today onwards, ALL SEARCH FORMS must go directly to your sergeant for checking and signing, to be logged on a target-achievement sheet and counted towards our monthly targets. Do not submit them directly into the Intelligence-Collection letterbox. Thank you for your cooperation.

Treading a path between orders like these is how a good proportion of my working life is spent.

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