This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


(All proceeds from Google Ads will be donated to the Police Roll of Honour Trust)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Caution: May Contain Irony.

Jamie Oliver today announces his latest celebrity fad show: Jamie's Prison Dinners.

Given that the TV chef's ASBO-avoiding school dinners have failed to do what they said on the tin, the Naked Chef has changed his sights to where most of his rice-guzzling teenagers have ended up: Inside.

On visiting some of Britain's most deprived prisons, Jamie was horrified to discover that not only were the prisoners being fed unorganic and fattening foods, but that the cooks had no training whatsoever in preparing gourmet meals. "You might even think," the celebrity gasped, "That they were therving time in the thlammer themthelveth!"

And so begins Jamie's next crusade, to improve the eating habits of our nation's prison population. He hopes that by switching cold turkey and detox for small and regular doses of methodone, the prisoners' Human Rights will be protected AND their behaviour will become more mellow and relaxed. Admittedly, in early trials, concentration levels were lowered somewhat and coma was a regrettable side effect of the diet. Jamie is confident, however, that if he perseveres, he might just make a shedload more money in time for Christmas.

We have neglected the addled brains of our young offenders for too long: if we do not act now some of them might stop taking drugs altogether.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright of PC Bloggs.

16 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it did happen - and for all the irony it is (these days) a distinct possibility - It'd only lead to their Mum's (or sullizzzitors) pushing their (now labelled unhealthy) favourite drugs/takeaway food/ciggies and cola, through the prison fences at break time (sorry - exercise). Still maybe there's a new TV series/book/interactive reality load of bollocks in the pipeline becasue of it....with press Bliar getting in on the act when Blue Peter take it all up as their summer appeal - -down Shep!

14 November, 2006 07:12

 
Blogger ExtraSpecialCopper said...

We will soon have organic heroin and organic crack for those druggies who are "concerned about their health"

14 November, 2006 11:44

 
Blogger Executive Intelligence Network said...

HELLO!!!

Grrr!!!

Why doesn't he visit the homes of the working poor?! They don't get gourmet meals - sometimes they don't get meals at all!

Oh, but wait - they haven't committed crimes so don't need coddling!

14 November, 2006 11:50

 
Anonymous Ellee said...

I think anything prisoners will get will be an improvement, it's not a scheme that will win much public support at the moment after that payment to the drug addicts for the abuse of their human rights.

What did you think about the pensioner who was jailed for not paying his council tax bill?

14 November, 2006 12:51

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While I am sure that St Jamie the Pukka has a good heart and good intentions the one effect I've noted from his campaign is that when I go to buy a sandwich at lunch I can't get in the shop for pupils from the local secondary school buying their dinner.

14 November, 2006 13:31

 
Anonymous Sim said...

I can see the letters being written up in the Prison library now...

"Excuse me Mister Oliver - I'm a chocoholic and I feel that being incarcerated and being denied my chocolate, which I am medically addicted to, infringes my human rights for making me go cold turkey and only supplying chocolate flavours sweets as opposed to the real thing. Whilst you're revamping the menu to add lobster and fois gras, could you perhaps mention this to the Governor before I sue the Government? Then I can spend the proceeds on shares in Thorntons..."

14 November, 2006 18:01

 
Blogger PC South West said...

Trouble is that most of the scum have what I call a CRO Halo.
No matter how much abuse they put their body though with drugs, drink and tobacco, they live for ever and ever.
So they don't need a decent diet anyway.
Feed them bread and water!!

14 November, 2006 18:20

 
Blogger Executive Intelligence Network said...

Can a person really live for any extended period of time on only bread and water? I'm serious - I don't think they could, but I don't know.

14 November, 2006 19:08

 
Blogger gonorr said...

"Can a person really live for any extended period of time on only bread and water?"

It would make better TV than the dross that's usually on.
Bliar could make money on it by making it a sort of Lotto sweepstake thingie.

14 November, 2006 19:38

 
Blogger PC South West said...

Ok bread and water was a bit harsh for some prisoners. But I wouldn't give them a lot more, maybe beans on toast for Sunday lunch, or tripe.

14 November, 2006 19:48

 
Blogger Executive Intelligence Network said...

What? No cake?

14 November, 2006 21:14

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can just imagine The Great Jamie making children's porridge for paedophiles; porridge with 'file o' pastry in it for the inveterate escapers; porridge with a kick for the muggers or even 12 safes with porridge in one for the burglars and safe crackers. Wouldn't it be better to lock them up in cells and tell them to make their own meals. That way, we wouldn't be breaching their precious human rights by giving them freedom of choice. Mind you, we wouldn't be giving them any ingredients. It should concentrate the mind on the rights and wrongs of criminal activity quite strongly!

14 November, 2006 22:20

 
Blogger PC South West said...

What would Fanny CRADDOCK have cooked for them I wonder.

14 November, 2006 22:29

 
Blogger 成人 said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 美女交友,

嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,
ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片,

愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,

03 April, 2009 18:56

 
Blogger look said...

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

15 April, 2009 03:11

 
Blogger liwo said...

爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性, 做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇,

免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真,

15 April, 2009 11:07

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

 

View My Stats
eXTReMe Tracker