Has anyone else noticed those Girl Police Officers?

Ten tips to being a great GPO:

1. Never turn up to work without your “face” on. You never know when you might go to a job involving a hunky ARV.
2. Ensure your hair is shoulder length, dyed blond with blonder highlights and has a nice “flicky” fringe at the front. Don't forget - your primary reason for joining the job was to get a date.
3. Practice saying, “Gosh this [insert name of exhibit] is heavy.” A male PC will swoop in and carry it for you and, if you disappear at the right moment, end up booking it into property.
4. When you hear other female officers talking about how they told someone off/had a fight/drew their baton, always say, “I don’t really find I need to use force on people very much”. This will draw everyone’s attention to how cute and feminine you are.
5. In the summer, when the “ties-off” command is given, make sure to undo at least two or three buttons on your shirt instead of just one. An oldie but a goodie.
6. If your paperwork starts mounting up, don’t worry about it. When you are called into the sergeant’s office for a dressing down, just let the tears well up and select from: “I’m going through a bad breakup” or “PC so-and-so has been picking on me ever since we went out.”
7. Resist attempts by feminist officers to rally the women together in times of discrimination. They will only bring you down with them. Remember: chauvinists are your friends - use them!
8.Make sure you date one and reject one PC from your station, preferably your shift. Then start dating a much more attractive DC whom nobody likes. This is the fastest way to get your name known around the nick.
9. You should have one of the highest sickness rates on shift - only macho lesbians turn up for work when they have a cold.
10. If you can possibly swing it, make sure to be assaulted when two or three male officers from your shift are nearby. They will never forgive themselves and will fall over each other to stop you getting in any nasty situations again.

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