This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Tough on the Causes of Crime

Inspector Dick Aistrop: "We are basically at the end of our tether. We have tried absolutely everything to get people to take heed of our advice but they just don’t seem to be listening."

"Motorists must take responsibility."

"People ... continue to leave themselves and their property open to burglars and thieves."

In a stroke of Twenty-First Century genius, Northants Police have hit upon the main cause of crime: THE PUBLIC! It appears burglary is caused by people's inability to live in an airtight box, and car-crime is largely down to the same people's selfishness in wanting to take possessions with them when they go out. If people would just lock themselves in a hole with their valuables around them and call for a police escort to venture out, there wouldn't be any crime at all.

For some reason Inspector Gadget is embarrassed by Northants' discovery, but I say anything that means the Criminal Justice System can avoid dealing with more of those pesky criminals the better.

'Diary of an On-Call Girl' is available in some bookstores and online.


Blogger Constable said...


well, it sounds great but in effect all it does is keep cases away from the courts and forces some, even with a hostile complainant (read domestics), to appear due to the DV policy.

There are no real winners in this except for police staff in the CJUs who no longer have to run around after witnesses, that is the officers job now. Oh incidentally the offenders who never find themselves in court win as well.


13 May, 2009 21:33

Blogger blueknight said...

I read Insp Gadget's blog and I was trying to think where I had seen a Police Officer use a megaphone in a comedy situation.
1. Captain Harris in the Police Academy films
2. Our Supt. directing a pub raid.He was supposed to say 'This is a Police raid, remain seated' etc. but unfortunately the stress of the situation caused him to stammer and he ended up doing a very good impression of 'Arkwright' from Open all Hours.

14 May, 2009 00:28

Anonymous Dr Melvin T Gray said...

Unorthodoxy is no basis for ridiculing this police response to a spate of burglaries in a particular area. It would have been far better to find credit and support for the idea until the results of test trials are known. Shame upon him/her to stifle initiative at the outset.

14 May, 2009 07:04

Anonymous Virtual said...

More people are asking why Police shoot to kill. Keep it up and soon you will have to finally learn new ways. When enough opposition creeps into the system, you will hopefully start to understand why we do not want our police officers to shoot and kill people who are in a desparate way. reports...


14 May, 2009 07:13

Blogger Max said...

Im really fed up about "why police shoot to kill?" Funny, when I was completing my handgun and carbine course I was only ever told to "shoot to stop"..That means aiming for the offender's centre mass.

Being a qualified army marksman before I joined the police, and then my police training I was never good enough to shoot a weapon out of someones hand who was flailing about. I suppose I should just let people shoot/stab me as Im wearing bullet resistant (not proof clothing.) Then I could try and sneak within 21ft to taser the offender (hoping that the muscle spasms from the fingers dont pull their trigger). Failing that I suppose Ill have to make you a cup of herbal tea and we can sit on beanbags whilst you try and kill me, my colleagues or innocent members of the public.Oh, we could fire stun grenades and CS rounds through the windows but that might start a fire then we would cop the flack for you burning to death too..

14 May, 2009 20:56

Anonymous Anonymous said...

No such thing as shoot to injure, that's just a load of Hollywood crap. In Northern Ireland I came very, very close to killing a kid carrying an airgun (Idiot). I have to say that I would have put one center of mass and (it being a 7.62mm round) would have killed him.

Thank God I didn't have to. He dropped the 'weapon' when challenged.

Sorry, my point: Shoot as a last resort, but rather 'him' dead than you/your oppo/CivPop etc.

And thanks to all the Cops (armed or otherwise) that stand between us and 'them'.


15 May, 2009 13:12

Blogger N said...

It's interesting... the Guardian report seems to have an awful lot of comments supporting armed police.

16 May, 2009 15:21

Anonymous Hibbo said...

Erm, isn't this the comments section about megaphone wielding police not gun wielding police? Or is my browser playing up?


When the police finally get up off their arses and arrest these despicable people who don't live in reinforced bunkers with 18" steel doors (there MUST be a 'crime' available from your ever growing list) for forcing the poor thieves to break in to their houses then all will be well.

16 May, 2009 16:24

Blogger Max said...

Hibbo, yes you are right. However the comment from Virtual about "shoot to kill" made my hackles rise hence the "bite"

16 May, 2009 16:45

Anonymous copperbottoom said...

I get the impression (and I dont do impressions...) that 'virtual' is a bit of a knobber... the knobber is a a person that whinges about 'the CCTV state and then cries 'foul' when a camera misses 'jason swapscum' steal his ipod from his m/v...

in the same way he bitches about 'shooting to kill' when i suspect the most dangerous thing that he is faced with on a day to day basis is spilling hot tea in his lap...

in armed conflicts- you need to be armed too... or you will die...

if you cant grasp that virtual - you need to take it up with your your local pharmacy.

17 May, 2009 17:39

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any particular reason you chose to quote from an article that's 4 years old? Just goes to prove how it's a fuss over nothing: been done before and didn't get picked up on then.

19 May, 2009 12:09


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