This is the official blog of Sgt Ellie Bloggs, a real live police sergeant on the front line of England. It's not the official opinion of my police force, but all the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't pay my salary.


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Monday, July 05, 2010

Ding Dong, the Policing Pledge is Dead

Thrillingly, the Policing Pledge is gone. Blandshire Constabulary has taken swift action to respond to this. As of immediate effect:
  • We will throw away all the little pink stickers used to measure stuff we don't need to measure any more.
  • When people call in, we will no longer waste time on the phone with the words "Under the Policing Pledge, an officer will respond to your call in.../by.../unless..."
  • We will no longer produce pie charts on how often neighbourhood officers check their voicemail. The statistics will still come out, they just won't be turned into a pie chart.
As you can see, Blandshire has used this great opportunity to shed the shackles of bureaucracy. Long may it continue.

In other news, do we really believe that Northumbria Police dared not publish Raoul Moat's picture for 12 hours because of his human rights? Here's wishing a speedy recovery to PC David Rathband, shot whilst sitting at the wheel of his car. More on this soon: Gadget has it covered.


Note: Click where it says "0 Comments" - they are there!

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8 Comments:

Anonymous justacop said...

The death of the pledge has not even been mentioned in our force. Clearly too many bean counters depend on it.

05 July, 2010 20:07

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess we have to wait for you to climb that greasy pole before we can stop paying for the cruft...

Good luck and recovery to PC Rathband I hope the pictures will be released and make people think realistically about what this thug has done to others. Some of the public need to be exposed to this to understand the obscenity of the act.

05 July, 2010 20:10

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The 'leadership' of my farce is still wondering what to do about the Pledge. They are like rabbits staring into headlights and just don't seem to be able to accept it is dead and gone. they say the Home Sec was just grandstanding and not sure whether she means it or not!! Meanwhile the Customer satisfaction bandwagon rolls on- the statistical one I mean, not going out catching criminals.

05 July, 2010 20:20

 
Blogger Joe said...

Actually Bloggsy there are extensive meetings right now about the best pathway to take to reach the goal of removing the pie charts from the reports.
The team is travelling the UK visiting other force areas to see how they've achieved it, and how the changes can be pushed forward.
Once there is a secure, stable, effective, and non-discriminatory methodology, the pie chart can be removed from the report.

However, once this, and other projects have been completed, you can return to proper policing...maybe

05 July, 2010 20:48

 
Blogger English Pensioner said...

They should have been publishing "Wanted - Dead or Alive" posters!
And in many other countries you wouldn't have to ask which, once he he'd shot a police officer!

05 July, 2010 23:38

 
Anonymous NottsSarge said...

Blandshire is well ahead of the times! Here, the Chief has recognised the instant death of the pledge but immediately declared it to have been based on sound principles, which we will apparently retain. Speaking to a colleague in Lincs yesterday, they have done the same, and there is now a Lincolnshire Policing Pledge.
I can't help but think that those at the top swallow so much bullshit that they find it impossible to deal with anything like this - One day it's there, being plugged, insisted upon and pushed, the following day it disappears forever. What to do with all the posters, rhetoric and the Superintendent we put in charge of selling this?
Le Roi est mort, vive le Roi, it would seem.

Meanwhile, our thoughts here are also with PC Rathband. Hang in there, we'll get him...

06 July, 2010 00:08

 
Blogger Ex-RUC said...

Once you've set up a department to collate statistics it's hard to disband it. After all, the figures may come in handy some day!

06 July, 2010 17:07

 
Anonymous Harry said...

Ding! Dong! The pledge is dead!
The pledge is dead; the pledge is dead!

Scans a bit better, and a top writer like wot you is should know that.

06 July, 2010 19:13

 

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