I Wanna Be Like Richard Reid

Another wannabe terrorist has failed to detonate his bomb on an international flight. This time, the device was hidden in his pants. Apparently.

The fear of being blown up on board a plane is not new. And every time there is a near-miss, nations fall over each other to announce new ways in which they will heighten security. On this occasion, there will be more body searches, passengers will only be allowed one item of hand luggage, and people who are wearing bibs emblazoned with the words "DEATH TO THE WEST" will not be given seats over the wing.

I'm a big fan of not dying on my next transatlantic flight. I'm also a big fan of not having to wait in line too long, not having to watch my carefully packed luggage being stuffed back together without so much as an iron in sight, and not being interrogated under spotlight because I'm not carrying enough stuff, or too much stuff. It's not necessarily as obvious as it sounds which right is more important.

Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab was about as close as you can get to being a terrorist without actually being arrested. He was being watched by the world's intelligence agencies, his father had reported him twice out of concern, and he had known links to Al-Qa'eda. He wasn't on a "no-fly" list - fair enough you can't stop everyone with extremist views from flying - but is it rude to ask: if this guy was of such interest, WHY ON EARTH was he not called into the security office as he checked in, grilled about the reason for his visit, and searched from head to toe? Am I being dense in drawing that the conclusion that there is little point in having lists of suspected extremists, little point in the vast array of intelligence work going on behind the closed doors of MI6, MI5, the CIA and every other anti-terrorism organisation, if on identifying said persons of interest they are waved to their aisle seats with an extra packet of salty snacks? And if foreign airports don't have the up-to-date body scanners and security systems that would have stopped Mutallab (and we're not talking rocket science here) why are we allowing people to fly into our country from them?

None of us mind the extra checks if it really is going to avert a tragedy, but it seems it is just the innocent who will be subjected to them. An outcome familiar to those unfortunate enough to wander into any of Blandmore's "dispersal order" zones on weekends when The Inspector In Charge of Counting Dispersals in the Dispersal Order Zone is on duty.

Fortunately, we can all draw comfort from the fact that modern day terrorists, whilst ever more ambitious, appear to be increasingly incompetent.

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