My Parting Shot

I missed out on events at the start of May, think I was in Crown Court or something that week (although that usually means I am glued to my computer playing games to while away the hours spent waiting). Anyway, apparently PC Pinkstone departed his force with some kind apocalyptic email to senior ranks. He now continues blogging from abroad, where he can't vote for two years.

I once discussed with a colleague how we'd "go out" if we ever quit the job. The words, "piece of my mind" and "blaze of glory" were mentioned. In reality, if things ever came to that, I think silence would be about all I could muster up.

Of course, it's fun to fantasise about what one would say in one's parting All-User Email. I think mine would read as follows:

"Dear All,

Well I'm off to pastures new and thought I'd spend a moment to tell you all just exactly what I think of this organisation and its vast array of well-meaning bureaucrats.

I must say golly what a terrific bunch you are! Daily I am staggered by the PROFESSIONALISM, INTEGRITY and gosh-darned-old-fashioned-jolly-roger-stiff-upper-double-jointedness of you people. This week I have seen no fewer than FIVE examples of criminal-busting supercops bringing fiends to justice left, right and centre. The public feel SAFE, victims are PROTECTED. Well done!

There is a downside, of course. Sadly as I departed I met a colleague who didn't buy into the importance of the Victim's CHARTER, respect for diversity, or slavishness to domestic violence policy. Folks, this just isn't good enough. You must do better.

A big fat choccie bar to the first officer to email me in Canada saying he's locked up an auto-crime offender.

Toodle pip.
Bloggsy."

Harsh words I know, but people need to be motivated, and that's how my Area Commander does it.

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